Short Pooed Poems

a red-faced baby
the nappy filled and heavy
he pooed himself twice...

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Once, when younger at the beach,
Dad bought us an ice cream each.
A pigeon, alert,
pooed on dad’s dessert;
no more it tasted of peach!...

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Once I made a batch of stew
                    Ingrediants made it grew and grew
                    Red Orange Green  Blue and Yellow
                    Made my guy not a happy fellow
                    Ended up on the pot and just  pooed...

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Monkey see....monkey do...
Monkey took a poo poo...
Monkey pooed on my arm..
on my shirt...icky warm...
Monkey poo rings my alarm!
Monkey monkey...look at you!
Get this off...it's from your wah-zoo!!
Eep! eep! eep! said the monkey!
Then he squeezed his nose...
'cause it smelled funky!...

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Getting younger every day
being old not required.

N.B. Explanatory book titles
for Yale students below.

Teenager: When I threw up 
in the road.

Toddler: How I destroyed
the living room.

Baby: Look! I pooed in
the potty.

Foetus: My lonely life
in the womb.

Egg: My years waiting
for sperm.

Microbe: Infecting
President Trump....

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I feed the seagulls in the morning sitting on a bench
When my sister looked at me and said in quite content
Miriam don’t feed those seagulls there’ll poo on your head
I ignored her and instead…. 

They pooed on her head
She wasn’t amused at all
She didn’t even snarl

Now every time we see her we say in good tent
 Have you been pooed upon lately
Not even on your head...

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The cat flew out the doggy door
The puppy pooed all over the floor
Well scratch my head and rattle my brain
I'm trying to think how I'll explain
That puppies need a diet of shoes
And cats don't really care for booze
Parakeets need freedom to fly
Tweety looked pretty up in the sky
Oh woe is me to be entrusted
With parts of the family-I think I'm busted
Supposed to sit their kids real soon
Yeah that will happen-on a cold day in June!...

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It was time to visit the vet
With a specimen from my pet
I scooped a lump of coal
But the cheap bag had a hole
Now, I'm driving in a cold sweat

Nauseous, I cannot elude
The smell of what Winnie pooed
Rotten eggs are preferred 
Over smelling dog terds
And her ripe farts are far less rude

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
for PDs Pooping Contest

*Yes, my dog is named Winnie after Winnie the Pooh by my son.
We call her Winnie Bear...

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A runny nose needs tissues.
A hungry mouth needs food.
A bottom needs a diaper change
Whenever it  has pooed.

In winter, hands need mittens.
In snow, feet need some boots.
These aren't up for maybes;
They are, rather, absolutes.

A sleepy face needs naptime.
A bored one needs a game
Or book or song or puzzle
For distraction is the aim.

A bath requires bubbles.
A bare floor needs a rug;
But nanas (also grandpas)
Don't need much besides a hug....

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The official name is 
Contrails
No more than condensation

The alternate one
Chemtrails 
poo pooed across the nation

I can't help notice
months go by
With none in sight

Are we to understand
that
No plane has taken flight

Yet, when they
Return
The skies are cross hatched

Such coverage in true
Journalism
Won't be matched

I've discussed it with
My brother who many
topics broaches

When they return
I call and say
There's sprayin the cockroaches...

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