Short Nursery Rhymes Poems

world poets’ nursery rhymes - kids’ dreamrockets at modern times...

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Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
Something to wipe noses
"A-tishue? A-tishue?"
Or if not a hankie...

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Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
And that’s why they invented the calculator...

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The Sandman's coming
In his train of cars
Think! Tiredness kills
Stop at the next services...

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Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
Oh I hate runny noses
A tissue! A tissue!
No don’t wipe it on your sleeve!...

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Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But Humpty Dumpty couldn’t fall
Because he had to wear a safety harness...

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Mary loved her little lamb
Every single day of course
But most of all on Sunday
With homemade mint sauce...

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Cry Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
Well that’s not really true
He’s gone to Tesco’s with my sister Su...

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Sing a song of Sixth Sense
Haley Joel Osment wonders why
He’s followed every where
By that Bruce Willis guy...

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There was a little man
Who wooed a little honey;
and she was wooed and wooed and wooed
But not as wude as he...

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Tom, Tom of Islington,
Married a wife on Sunday,
And that’s all I will tell
Because to be honest it doesn’t end well...

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Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl:
Their wisdom was a misconception
They died and that’s natural selection...

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See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have good luck.

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have a pin...

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A nursery rhyme’s never been writ
That I couldn’t read into it
A whole nother story
Maybe sexy or gory
That I could expand on a bit...

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Mary, Mary quite contrary
This is what I want to know
With an Adams apple
And the razors dapple
Are you really a girl, yes or no?...

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Lizzie Borden took an axe, 
And killed the man from the income tax
When she saw what she had done, 
She went off to kill another one...

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It's raining; it's pouring. 
The old man is snoring. 
We should have changed but instead, 
We didn’t and we’ll all be dead by morning...

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Higgledy Piggledy, 
My fat hen, 
She lays eggs 
Full of Collagen
Good for women, 
And good for men, 
Higgledy Piggledy, 
My fat hen!...

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The fair maid who, the first of May
Goes to the fields at break of day,
And picks strawberries ripe and juicy
Isn’t a native of this country...

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Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But so Humpty Dumpty wouldn’t fall
He was sent by the head of human resource
On a three week health and safety course...

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Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey..
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her,
And said, "is that stuff pro-biotic?...

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This is the house that Jack built!
This is mortgage on the house that Jack built.
This is the rat that foreclosed on the mortgage
That was on the house that Jack built....

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There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
No one was to tease       
That everyone agreed
As she was the daughter of Herman Munster...

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Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat
I can’t wait till Christmas to eat some of that
Coz I’m on the Atkins diet and that’s a fact
I just hope that I don’t have a heart attack...

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I
I give thanks to The LORD six days a week. I forget which days I forget!

II
Little Jack Horner refused to sit in the corner: I may be little, he said, but I have a right to free pie...

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