Short Nip And Tuck Poems

“Hey, when is my turn?”
asks the horse.
“Hold your horses,” 
says the plastic surgeon,
“while I give the duck
a quick nip and tuck.”...

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Pug noses in designer hoodies 
Wicker baskets on beach cruisers 
Leather sofas doggy devoted 
Grooming parlors and pet hotels 
Best pooch in wedding tux 
Nip and tuck, no more nuts 
Hollywood glitz for puppy shitz 
LA doggy style
Westside!...

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“Nip and tuck” her surgeon says,
crow’s feet on the run

Tighter skin on feathered whims,
botox zero-sum

An ageless wonder creaks inside,
bones preserve the tale

And when she smiles her lips on fire
—wanton to regale

(The New Room: December, 2021)...

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farewell my dear
your fair, but not well
i whisper into my ear
the secrets of my hell
although you can't hear
you should be able to tell
its not what i see that i fear
its the thought of your spell

Pick me up
I've never had to fall down
a mental nip and tuck
and im standing upright right now
its by my will and luck
because no help from you was found
you run my heart into the ground
now my feelings fail to make a sound...

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I see no evil in the
 Mortise and tenon and in the thin 
Red line Mao traced in a
 Thousand or more 
Platitudes still
Posing deftly in old 
Wuhan. 

 Just a while ago I did glimpse a 
Twinkle in the
 Delicate curl of a child’s 
Lip and in the
Tender.

 Millions of centimeters away the French, in 
Perfect nonchalance, 
Pause, as stock markets
 Nip and tuck to 
Languid sips of cool cool 
Wine.

-Jeff Troyer 
April 2020...

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My name is Arabella 
And I’m really such a girly
I like to wear nice dresses
And my hair is blonde and curly

With underwear by Reger
And Prada on my feet
Made up to perfection 
I give all the men a treat

My perfect breasts the envy
Of the women that I see
They look me up and down
And, they wish that they were me

I’m very nearly faultless
And quite soon with any luck
I’ll have the money saved
So I can have the nip and tuck...

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