Short Limburger Poems

Your dark
answers
my
    night
as fiction fills
the
   sky
       of
make believe
lit by
a
sad-faced
   limburger cheese
moon...

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His mother taught him to say, "Please"
Before eating Limburger cheese
Each beat of his heart
Propelled a cheese fart
He tried to hide behind a sneeze...

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Smaltz loved limburger cheese with passion
A fact that turned co-workers’ noses ashen.
The stench made ill all near his breath
Notes on his locker hinted at death.
Smaltz now finds cheddar fragrantly in fashion....

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My gal from Pamunkey,
has decided to leave.
Cause I have funky undies,
like bad stinky cheese.
She doesn't think it's funny,
that I'm attracting bees.
Your butt get's pretty itchy,
if you use Limburger cheese.
Man, I gotta wash my jazz,
As Soon as, I'm free....

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You were my crush;
The memory's sweet
But I can't take
Your stinking feet.

Don't get me wrong;
I've tried to please
But I can't stand
Limburger cheese.






Date Written: 4-15-2019
Contest Name:	I’m Crushing On You
Contest Sponsor: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver...

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She rails at unseen whisperers,
un-wrappers of gooey carmels.
Her hat is high and so am I,
drunk on her liederkranz chanel.

I imagine a well-placed apple
replacing her feathered chapeau.
An unpracticed William Tell zings
her headless with his bow.

Clever subtitles explain the plot.
The score sets an ominous tone.
Things are fine till next to me sits
a girl wearing limburger cologne.

©Kathryn McLoughlin Collins
July 4, 2012...

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Can you forget that piece of cheese
that you inhaled? Oh, just a crumb it was.
But breathing while chewing, then choking!
Was it Cheddar, Cheshire?

Or that Limburger, Parmesan?
But, oh, that piece of cheese!
Not a morsel you'll forget,
or a temporary amnesia that will bring you peace.

A double Gloucester, some feta or mozzarella?
What about that Parmigiana-Reggiano?
Better, far better, not to inhale
a piece of cheese. It's peace you need.

(8 Jan 2024)...

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Forever friends we are and will always be said the white rat.
This was news to the faerie, but he was nicer than her old cat.
I can get you kibble, lettuce, bits of bacon, or other treats she said.
Just a bit of peanut butter please, the white rat quickly said.

But do not put in in one of those snappy things, please.
And I might ask your for a tiny bit of limburger cheese.
He was an easy pet, and fun in a variety of ways.
She taught him to boogie, and he taught her glaze clays....

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