Short Hernia Poems

Policies, riding in pyromania
flaw after flaw, becoming a hernia
the head is intractable
which is not acceptable
rubs poor Bulgaria to please Romania....

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I'm on a roll, no stopping me now
It would give me a hernia, holy c-c-cow
Stuff would seize up
My butt would slam shut
Poetic constipation it would surely fall-ow...

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Swallowing hard the slain,
Gritting teeth like  gnats;
Toss your card nonchalantly and move.
Even if your ears ring like bells;
Don’t get the hernia over it,
Frothing wont smoothen the slit.
The bait has died out;
For neon thighs come with a jaunty cough....

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If Jane carries heavy bags
She feels sharp pain
Whether she sits up
Or laying in bed
Heaviness she feels
A rock on her chest
This is called a Hiatus
    hernia
In time it gets worse
It'll be hard to breeze
That is when relief is
     found
Surgery is done
So until that time comes
Jane has to wait
For the surgery
To relieve her pain...

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The head and face broad and flat,
The eyes set wide apart,
The body-growth stunted,
The tongue protruded,

With squeaky voice,
The child is not wise.
The skin thick, dry and coarse,
The hair rough, sparse and coarse.

The thickened neck small and short,
With supraclavicular pads of fat.
The bulging tummy resembles a pot,
And umbilical hernia resembles a spout....

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I disagree that laughter is the best medicine.
I got a hernia from laughing and was in constant pain,
and every time I'd laugh thereafter, the pain returned intensively again.
I've since had corrective surgery, but laughing is not the same.
I'm afraid that I'll rupture my corrective surgery if I start laughing again, 
and be back in that world of chronic pain,
that will only intensify when I again start laughing....

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Two hip replacements and a bypass
(Triple) of the heart,
A brand-new valve and, very soon,
A pacemaker will start.

An operation on the spine
To help unpinch a nerve;
A cataract procedure
Coming soon, but on reserve.

A trip to the E.R. – 
A diverticulosis scare
And several months ago
There was a hernia repair.

So many that I know have reached
That Medicare-form stage.
That what’s to be expected,
If we’re living, as we age....

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Have a hole in my sock
Sneaker is torn
A bump like Hernia
Next to my groin.

Corsage must pick
My son’s prom tonight
Stop by MacDonald’s
Grab me a bite.

Must watch out for myself
Front tooth is loose
If I chew too hard
It’ll be of no use.

Good thing still have hair
Although grows quite thin
If it starts to fall
Damn curly sin.

Done the days chores
Rest and sit down
Getting old for this circus
Should be a retired clown....

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