Short Bumpkin Poems

Bonsai
bumpkin cries
small tree flies...

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Chawbacon bumpkin
Hillbilly from Hog Hollar
Brings ma a ripe pumpkin
And lets her keep her dollar...

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There was a thief, name of Lonnie Lumpkin
Accused of stealing a thousand pumpkins
   He put them in trees
   They stank in the breeze
Wud-ja expect from a Count-Tree Bumpkin...

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Sharp tongues flying in the depth of night 
Deep eyes looking for dirt under one's skin
Shallow minds that float and can't be bright 
And the gossipmonger guy was a bumpkin 

June 7, 2023...

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There once was a psychopath named Fred

who sculpted heads for Halloween's dead

a poor country bumpkin

he wouldn't waste a pumpkin

carving up trick-o-treaters instead....

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Silliness is what silliness does, an old proverb
I'm a professional, so don't challenge what I offer
That's really “prunkin”
You country bumpkin
Just don't cut it, my mind's quite awkward...

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This scarecrow is no country bumpkin
His bottom and head are ripe pumpkin
Touch him if you dare
He’ll give you a scare
By pricking your hand with a bodkin

Inspired by the picture Lin sent to me

25-09-17...

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Limerick : Once Hillbilly Bumpkin came to town

Once Hillbilly Bumpkin came to town
Citizens mocked this no-make-up clown
She hitched ride on red bus
To Piqued-Silly-Circus
And there let drop (her) feathered eiderdown.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013...

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Call me hayseed, bumpkin, hillbilly, or crazy hick
Fresh inspiring country air surrounds me thick
I could run outside naked if I wanted
I live where deer and wild turkey are hunted

Wild boars wander up to my yard to root
My garden has veggies, my trees bear fruit
The sun I see is better than most ever find
Taking me away from the country would be unkind...

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A country boy
from the Yorkshire Dales
overnight an one hit wonder
when appearing on television in the uk's
top pop show.
'Thank your lucky stars'
This country bumpkin
in the big city
five star hotel, limousine, the works
along with an accent to boot
and a new one to learn
from the usa,
'Freddy Cannon' from the deep south
the top act, along with england's finest.
And i was only 19.

© Harry J Horsman  2012...

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Frothy exhaust curdles the Lumpkin 
pumpkin
Hard Cider breath exudes from 
every male bumpkin
Screamin kids Crab apples into 
melted taffy dunkin
Uncle Leroy's flabby ass into 
shredded bale sunken
Aunt Polly on the sagging porch 
swing drunken
Cousin Marie on sawdust kitchen 
floor corn husks shuckin
Baby Liza in corn pone crib goat's 
milk from RC botttle suckin
One-eyed Grandpa Moses up at 
Bear Cove spelunkin...

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my name is Karen
not to be confused with Aaron

i was raised in the hills,
but that don't hide the fact i still have bills

I've traveled the world
I've seen all sorts of places in this world

I've made a lot of memories
to the notebook with my peneries(made up word)

I'll write a tale or two
cause in my life there have been a few

i want people to know about me 
at the end of my life they'll see

i wasn't just a country bumpkin
i was a smart and sassy pumpkin...

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You lied
I cried

Lie low
Hello

My dear
Her rear

Was flake
You snake

Slitter
Hitter

Batter
Scatter

Foul balls
Who falls

I did
You squid

I plea
Leave me

Your eyes
Like pies

And sweets
And tweets

That sing
And bling

That sate
Your plate

Without
A doubt

Peter
Cheater

Pumpin
Bumpkin

Bowwow 
Chow Chow

It's clear
Leave here


connie pachecho

1/12/25

Note-A prelude to this poem, "If I Were Your Love," dated 5/1/23....

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