Short Blighter Poems

At our pub, a drunken blighter
Claimed to be, "The World's Best Fighter"
His wife was a nurse
And she won the purse
For being the best back-biter!...

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There was a cold man from Connecticut
whose hygiene showed he didn't know etiquette 
if he'd left me alone
he'd still have his own bone
That cold hearted blighter from Connecticut....

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Thumping away at his typewriter
With the speed of a kung fu fighter
He writes letters, I guess
To complain to the press
He is a most annoying blighter.


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Contest: Funny Limericks
Sponsor: Line Gauthier...

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Nighty night-night
	my sorry little blighter
It'll be all right
	if you can be a fighter
The devil is a-comin'
	he'll slug you with his fist
You'll see him swift a-runnin'
	to give your neck a twist.

Oh my grubby puppy
	you are bright, bright, bright
Take a nippy nappy
	or you'll bite, bite, bite
The devil's in the details
	The devil wears a hat
He'll sell it to you retail
	He'll feed you to the cat....

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Read I what he published;
The sound ideas relished'
"When one is the vanquished
A thing is relinquished
He's still The Distinguished;
But might feel extinguished"

But why would a writer 
Self publish and lighter
Make what's not for Blighter,
Even if The Brighter...

And he tries too posters,
The printing of Rosters,
From time to time Fliers
For sincere liars...

God saw His Job as good
Not us dust like mere wood....

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He sat there with a bee on his nose
Its his own fault this has occurred
Stuck his nose in the lavender
Now covered in pollen, looks absurd

His eyes are near crossed
As he looks at the bee
Thinking dare i move
Or will the blighter sting me

So like a statue the dog just sat
Dare i tell him the bee is a fake
Was put in the lavender as a joke
Will he hate me when from his nose i take.



Penned 9 july 2013

 Andrea's Contest  :Show Me Funny...

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