Girlfriend Satire Poems

Nawty There
How can I address you properly?
You can't take off my dress
You nawty child
You've gotten her pregnant!
Get out of this house now
He was pulling one...

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Yesterday I walked down the stairs
and found myself going within
the clubhouse of a league of folk,
who strive daily for excellence.
Our membership is rather rarefied
and reserved...

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My best friend got a girlfriend,
covered in tattoos,
kept saying she was ‘the one,’
his lover, faithful and true.
I said not to rush in fast,
to look for...

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Mama, mama ...
I got a triangular problem
And I need you
to give me the square deal truth
Straight honest for real, lying foolproof — 
it’s a rectangle...

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Do not smoke me
out of your heart
I am still nursing
the septic wounds...

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Cock got virgin spouse
they spent nice times together

she sang melodies to boyfriend
but soon she was pregnant
labor moment came with pains
Cock went to maternity ward
asking for...

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My friends call me an imbecile,
but what do they know
They're two steps below
me intellectually
They're idiots ...
most would agree
My girlfriend calls me a moron,
I can't argue...

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Anytime I try to solve this love in my head
My heart beats faster like its running out of my chest
I try to play my best...

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Come home from work
 See my girlfriend crying
 She can’t get on face book
 And whole day she trying

 Well I try to fix the...

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My friends, this saga slowly unfurls
 a love story that went quickly awry,
 seems greedy Bob dated a pair of girls
 when with one, to...

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If I picked my Valentine
she'd be a perfect 10.
She'd have blonde hair with highlites
and answer where and when.

She'd be a little shorter,
yet tall enough to...

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No valentine on Valentine's.
I haven't met one yet.
Each year I wait another
for a person I've not met.
There's nothing I've done wrong:
yet waiting is in vain.
And...

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On the 12th day of kiss-mass my true love sent to me
12 dirty undies
11 socks a stinking
10 shoes a humming
9 shirts for pressing
8 trousers 
7...

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I may slap you, curse you, smack you
Don’t get too serious honey, its monthly fun
I am PMS ing and my trauma is true
Be my gentleman...

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Afore falling in his arms they advice to think twice
Unregretful I act beyond my surprise
It’s the grip of a force, a force here to claim
Compelling,...

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