Right Handed Poems

You Made Me Dauntless

You made me Dauntless


Part of me is half full and empty
Like a right-handed person trying to be lefty
Trying to scribble down the chaotic memory
Of the hurt I got from ignoring me totally
 
I try to break my own rules and standards
‘Cause I thought you’re the ace in a card
I dive too deep into the false hope reward
I just realized that you are a real coward
 
Late-night talks and calls are useless.
You changed instantly and left me clueless.
I threw away the feelings too effortlessly
It made me confident, braver, and dauntless
 
 
I’m fed up with trying to make things keep going
It’s you who stops holding and believing
I’ll never let myself fall again for nothing
‘Cause often looks and words are deceiving

Drums 'n' Guitar

Tho' right-handed
instruments the two do play
yet one is downside up
left-handed musicians both are they
or seem to sup
from a similar southpaw cup
and if you follow the trail of crumbs
they lead to Jimi
the Starr of guitar
and stick to Ringo
the Hendrix of drums

Banjo

Banjo

if you want to bruise your ego
try to learn the 5-string banjo

I’m trying to learn Scruggs style
and it definitely is a real trial

three fingered right-handed rolls
is a complete shock to my soul

getting the timing down
so, I don’t sound like a clown

somewhere old Earl is having a laugh
at every time I make a gaffe

if ever I get on stage to play
I would suggest everyone should pray

lefthanded

Left-handed dexterity 

I was naturally left-handed but was at school 
by terrible hand forced to write with the good hand
hence my terrible handwriting 
I hated my clumsy writing, so I switched
to write in a foreign language, namely in English 
it didn't help, but I bought a typewriter
Left or right-handed, explained to me that 
masturbation is for is the job of the left hand and
therefore regarded as sinful
  at school, when we wrote essays, the teacher 
liked to read aloud what I had written, but I got 
low marks due to spelling mistakes, which was 
a bane of my life, I tend to think faster than I write 
but now I'm old brain and had work together 
I have read hundreds of books and know enough
to say there is no dictatorship of the masses
political systems will exploited by those 
who seek power

Forced to wear a Thumbless Mitten

I am more right-brained than anyone I have met.
Being left-handed goes along with this and my dyslexia.
An old-maid old-school old-faced teacher decided to fix me.
I was forced to wear a thumb-less mitten on my left hand.
Thanks Mom, thanks Miss Kneeland, first grade teacher.

After a year I tried to be right handed, but I never felt right-handed.
In these days children are allowed to be right and left handed.
I envy them. I wish I could have been one of them.
On a happier note, I can type faster than anyone I have ever known.

Do You Know At Least Some of the Answers

Why is my body lop-sided?
Notice when I put on my socks
Never a problem with my left foot
With my right foot my muscles lock

Why are some right handed
While others more adept with their left?
Ever try writing left handed
A scrawl barely readable at best

Why does the hair on a female's face
Take so much longer to grow?
Imagine if the exact opposite were true
Not very appealing I know

Why do men stand up to pee
While ladies sit happily on the throne?
Wouldn't work the other way round
A mess we couldn't condone

Why do we always put on our pants
With the same leg first every time?
You'd think there'd be a sensible reason
Right now not one comes to mind

Why do we tilt our head the same way
Every time we kiss our lover
Coz if we varied the side each time
Noses would get squished you'd discover

If only we knew all the answers
There'd be no more struggling through life
We'd all be up there floating on cloud nine
Living happily without strife

Engineer and Inventor

- Thinking of Jobs and Wozniak

they are like arms
left handed or right handed
there may be,
Discrimination between the two hands
is impossible,
because they are connected
each other

Oh yeah, one thing
inventor compared to engineer
walking slowly but
can laugh with
a relaxed smile
because he is not competing
towards the goal.

Left-Handed Lament

My paper is always turned so people don't judge;
because yes if it's vertical my work will  be smudged. 
With the other I've tried to write;
but man it just doesn't look right. 

When I bat on that side
the ump runs to hide. 
I can't even start on that foot,
my balance pretty much kaput. 

And do not get me started on that 'right-handed thinking;'
to grasp that logic's like being on a ship that is sinking! 
So over the decades I've often had to interject, 
that being left-handed is the obvious 'correct.'

My Dentist Started a Nudist Colony

Burn after
Reading 
You've got
The silver
My dentist is an 
Impossible white man; 
He knows where's he's going!

I am booking an appointment 
He's the man
Racist bread - probably

We've all looked in the 
Mirror today
A neighbour requested
A chainsaw
I got on the sus bus

A wardrobe malfunction 
In the 
Waiting room
Figleaf stuff
In the dentist's chair

Right-handed people chew 
On
Their right-side
I've started
Spying on diners 

I take my harmonica 
To the dentist
Braces blues and
Floss funk

I give my wife toothbrush kisses

She Is Dyslexic and Left Handed

My mother mentioned casually that I was dyslexic.
This was something I had forgotten.
I knew I had to wear a glove for a year of first grade
To force me to not use my left dominant hand.
But I had forgotten the hours I spent after school with Miss Kneeland.

Miss Kneeland was an old maid school teacher
Who had already taught my father and his brother Jerry.
They were also dyslexic, so she knew what she was dealing with.
I had spent hours after school with her in first grade
As she taught me to see my reading words the way others saw them.

She used a mirror, and until I saw them with the mirror,
they were squiggles that made little sense.
It was a struggle I had long forgotten,
I have never fully recovered from wearing a one compartment mitten
On my left hand, so I could not use my left hand for a year.
This was also Miss Kneeland’s idea, so I could be right handed.

Mummy Vacation

Dear friends,

 Please let me explain
 I am normally gone
 From the break of Spring
 Until now...
 Every year
 I begin with a show
 And in this year
 As some might know
 I began with a Bang!
 Big orders on a scale
 I have never seen...
 And while my gratitude
 Defies imagination
 My solitude
 Might lack an understanding...
 And so a fun fact about me
Is that most might never see
Who I am...
I'm the right handed Jeweler
with a left handed Pen...
And I write
When I'm in sight of things...
So I'll be back
With a light type of 'hac'
To make creating with You...
Whole again.
There is never...
a bad wrap.

Left Handed Boxers

There has never been a southpaw, 
Who has the crushing show made poor; 
Each in the ring a carnivore, 
His left hook, his wasting death jaw, 
Your swollen eyes already a law 
Before the last bout on the floor. 

A lateral body positioning 
That The Left Thing keeps conditioning, 
From the ring catapulting a victim 
To an international hospital 
And from its ward to its mortuary: 
So, it had been with Callous Etim, 
From a fight to a celebratory rental 
And a speeding-up of his obituary.
 
South paws still have been licked 
By the Maverick Right-Handed, 
When they have such boldly picked
For the blows hatefully landed. 

Pacquiao saying it was going to be Mayweather 
And meeting with a bit of bad weather.

Familiar Patterns In An Altered State of Wellness

i am dizzy right now and i am unable to be able
i simply refuse to reestablish my common sense
i choose stubbornness and it has now caused me mad pain
maybe i will grab my sweety's throw blanket and sleep in front of the chiropractor's door

i am lightheaded right now and i am unable to be able
i create stanzas of excuses moonlighting as poems
i am an unfinished basements salesman specializing in repetitive wolf tickets
maybe i will grab my starlight's forest green furry bathrobe and sleep in front of the orthopedic doctor's door

i am confused right now and i am unable to be able
i am a right handed pitcher of habitual lies in a dry desert
i am a left handed denialologist with only disorted images on the obvious picture
maybe i will borrow my lady's always warm brain and go to the wall of her primary doctor and knock some sense into myself until opening hours

Balance

A teacher broke his left-handedness,
until the right reluctantly awoke.
His right hand turned
to inner paths.

They tried to rewire him,
he was too right handed now,
but he kept slipping out of their minds

The boy continued taking
unofficial routes.
Teachers gave up on him.

He drew his own mind maps
explored them.

Eventually, by chance,
he found his place
at the center

his two hands joined
to the logic of creative
prayers

The Wall That Once Was There

Before the living room wall came crashing down.
I sat in the living room as a child and frowned.
Reading in the dark and studying in the dark,
Hearing my dad say “turn on the light in there.”
Flickers the switch on and now I can see!
Wondering why I wear glasses; now I know.
Leaning against the wall and doing handstands.
Stretching firmly against the wall, a Yogi.
The living room was a playground for us kids.
Our pet parakeets flew, grasping with their claws,
Sinking their sharp beaks and chipping at the wall. 
Before the living wall room wall came crashing down
My dad said, “I would have been a great carpenter.”
He sure was right like a right-handed person.
Boom! Now, the living room wall crashes downwards
Crumbling down in one direction it goes.
Dust everywhere and on everyone, like flour
My dad was a builder, and a contractor he was
My mother, sister, and I surprised, we stand.
The wall once stood, dust particles in its place
“What have you done? “, we ask and he reassures.
“I told you I would have been a carpenter,
No wall constricting us, and we all have more space”.

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