It starts as a thought,
a troubling notion far out
on the extremes of distance
making room for a lifetime
to occupy the intervening space.
Seasons come and go -
wildflowers ripple colour
across wide open plains
and inland rivers exhaust
into a shimmering heat haze
beneath an outback sun.
Fruits ripen and vines rush
to swell their sweet bounty
before the savagery of frost.
Love blossoms, grows, matures
into a silence, gathering all
that has been spoken
into an offering to transcendence.
Candles are lit in the crevices
of the soul.
It comes finally,
swallowing distance -
a whole lifetime -
and you stand paralysed
within your own sense of being,
powerless in the cross-hairs
of its sure aim.
I overheard the Chief surgeon instructing
The Doctors as I was being wheeled to the
Surgical theatre for a surgical procedure
Paralysed by administered anesthesia
I couldn't stand up to the Chief surgeon
I watched the procedure like a spectator
from beginning to the end.
I was angry with the procedure for stitching up
that was recommended by the Chief surgeon;
knowing that it will leave me with a permanent
scare,
Because i held a health insurance policy
I was only waiting to be awake to make
my displeasure known.
(Written on the 27th of April, 2026.)
Deeper and deeper, my mind goes cold, like a disease, it spreads to my heart, now stone-cold.
Deeper and deeper, my demons rub their hands, belittling me while despairs settles in.
Deeper and deeper, I sink into the chill, feeling old, as my soul is wrapped in despair, cold from misery, encased in stillness.
As they say, a cold mind breeds a cold heart- my blood now frozen, solid as stone, chilled by fear, numbed by careless despair, cold from my anxiety.
Anxiety does jumping jacks within me, keeping me frozen, paralysed by dread, seeping into the crevices of my mind,
Cold mind, cold heart.
Wounded
Distrustful
Inured
Enthralled
Fooled
Estranged
Paralysed
Exposed
Resolved
Consumed
Scholar
Slave
Compelled
Searching
Hopeful
Wounded by its lack
Distrustful of it
Inured to its absence
In thrall to its allure
Fooled by its simulacrum
Estranged from it
Paralysed by fear of losing it
Inexorably exposed to it
Resolved against it
Consumed by longing for it
A scholar to its foreign texts
A slave to its compulsions
Compelled to search for it
Forever
Hopeful
Scattered around is destruction and debris blast-
Things rendered shapeless and futile ,but to ooze
Disgust and infinitely depressing misery profuse;
What was a pleasure and intact heaven, is lost !
Paralysed life and sickly breath is just a doom;
What came up in the spirit and sprouts of affinity,
And the blooming faith finds its end to infinity;
Intense fire has left behind the engirdling gloom
Weird ambition and endless greed do always swell :
All pursuits and desires fulfilled,man doth chase
The vain, 'undo' prompts of the hidden mind base
That blind the vision of the ensuant horror sequel
From the lithic to the vicious latent missile,
Devouring pathos,Rage has stretched its arm;
The charm of living is lost in death and sick harm
The extant essence of survival is lost in a while
Gone are twitters,chirps and the fresh pearly dew
The blessing sunrise and the sweet cool breeze;
Dissenting waves are churning the settled seas
Old order merges with the ruined past for the new!
you are a loss i will forever mourn even in my sleep
paralysed by the ghost of you that haunts me in dreams
i gave you my heart till you bleed it out
forced me to say words i never once believed
they say people are always blinded by the truth
"forever lost" is truly the lost case
i was here bleeding at the shore
when you departed to another sea
The long narrow hallway,
Etched with pain and euphoria,
A mother’s sacrifice and the husband’s touch,
A parade of white.
The time is concentrated,
Flowing through me like a river,
Wild and roaring
And I stuck - a paralysed effigy on the shore.
On the pricipice of darkness
I sat, shivering to burst,
Refusing to remember,
What is to be lost.
floating over fields my transport beam’s concealed ~ moribund paralysed
all you that went before are in my dreams once more ~ no one vaporised
loosely tethered our strings frayed and weathered ~ information’s ionised
this ghost won’t deny phenomenons trick the eye ~ and i’m compromised
from labour contractions–chemical reactions ~ through the stars baptised
the cosmos true treasure is no mean measure ~ even death’s alchemised
god sometimes goes unseen on fringes and off the screen ~ marginalised
shining across fields his transport beam revealed ~ shaft of hope realised
Who knew you were an ammunition,
A camouflage with a malice!
I'm still numb from the revelation
No matter how much I try
I'm afraid that I might risk walking the path
that killed all my dreams I'd reinforced spellbound by your lies!
I'm locked in your cellar
For the crime of conviction
In the castle you built
And called our home!
There's a door on your side
I know l'd never dare to knock
The door wrapped in Bougainvillea
Hiding behind them
The thorns of your sweet excuses!
I know I must avert
And disappear into the fog,
Hoping you'd then realise what a loss feels like!
But, my limbs are paralysed by the venom of trust
That sluggishly ran through my blood
Tormenting me all these years !
Now,
All I need is an escape
Is that too much to ask for?
Disconsolate obsidian waves crash over crumbling dunes,
Sweeping afflicted grains of sand back into the depths,
Dragging my paralysed soul with them.
Engulfed in despondent riptides,
I gasp for oxygen amongst rippling currents,
As a fiery moon hangs precariously overhead.
Blood-red reflections illuminate the stark waters,
While calls of the lost sing to me,
Like sirens beckoning sailors to their doom—
Louder and louder, until it becomes unbearable.
Flaring arms fill with cortisol,
Burning, tangled within suffocating seaweed.
Farther I get pulled from the shore;
The horizon is growing fainter now with every somber beat of my heart.
Isolation shrouds the thickening atmosphere.
Saline leaks into my mouth, drying my tongue as I frantically spit it out.
Hysterical laughter escapes through lips without realisation.
Dehydration overcomes.
Sanity slips with each sip of water.
My larynx sharply tightens—
Barely a noise can be uttered.
Yet the siren calls of the irretrievable continue to crescendo,
Pulling me into an empty expanse, everlastingly.
death does not comes to me
Even when I pray for it
I'm coward
My body freezed and hands paralysed
In the inside,
my life is torturous and tormenting
On the outside,
I believe there exist a better place for me
I'm stuck between death and life, my view blurry
My soul dead, head full of Death wishes
Is it called living?
A storm is coming
I don't know how to stop it
Like thunder rolling out of the sky
Striking me over and over again
In an open field
Nowhere to go, nothing to stop it
I'm helpless, paralysed
All the fear filling me with what could've been
What i could've done better to stop it
But what ifs and what could've been won't help you here
You just have to lay back and take it
Thoughts pierced the whites of my brains,
Tainted blood flowed out of my veins,
One half of me then paralysed,
My speech now completely disguised.
Why was I stubborn with the drugs?
My right arm now too weak for hugs.
Beat fast, my heart under my cloak,
Just too bad I now have a stroke.
Recovery now cost fortunes,
Drag I must my distortions,
Since death may even be my fate
Like rats in a trap, I await.
27th October, 2024.
The Dummy
Lying in a corner
With a smirk on his face
Eyes wide, not yet moving
Maché thoughts circulate.
Reality assured,
He was ready to go,
Dependency resting
On a hand from below.
His own paralysed hands
In his parodied suit
Did not have the means
To greet or salute.
From whence the desire,
The will and intention?
How to be free from
Ventriloquist intervention?
The God of the dummy
Is beyond belief,
His place in the corner
A God-given peace
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