Fear Parallelismus Membrorum Poems

Mom of 13 siblings was the last to pass. Behind a hung draped sheet that parted the bedroom she was in, from the living room,...

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When he speaks
transparently
he feels co-passionate
as long as s/he appears
to vulnerably listen

Without Me v We risks
of retributive judgment,
body shaming
and mind blaming,
when he aims
to restore healthy cultures
and...

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If Thou take not our hands,
and feet,
our bodies
hosting ghostly minds,
our organic inside communion lives
flowing out emphatic communication love

We cannot continue to fail,
to fear,
to feel tired,
retired,
weary,
untreaded,
worn,
unpleasant,
numb.

When...

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I feel victimized
by the commercial success
of what was once a silent,
waiting,
watching
for Emmanuel,
Allah WithIn Us

I wonder
when I become red-faced angry
about not being able to CONSERVE
sufficient power...

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Systemic trauma
may be a more inclusive
and challenging
way of saying:

Systemic racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, discrimination, prejudice, bigotry,
avoiding fear
then anger aggressively approaching
fear avoiding...
unspiraling anti-communication systems
of trauma,
StraightWhiteMale privileged
drama.

Systemic...

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Can you make any sense of
systemic racism?

No more common sense than
too much patriarchalism--
all leftbrain-rightwing dominant things
oppressing sacred Earth's
polycultural win/win systems
promoting resiliently wealthy
resonant synergetic health

Care given
as...

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Why is it?
the louder
and more ballistic
my self-righteousness
offensively becomes

The more
at night
I feel self-loathing,
when all is quiet
except dark ruminations
filling my silent bedroom
overwhelming my mind
and body.

Why is it?
we...

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My left-brain dominant challenge
begs for a worldview
of unconditional warm regard

Which sometimes feels uncomfortably warm
through heated confrontations
confused about whose voice is rightfully speaking
respectfully with whom

And who...

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When trauma lurks
with upper hand,
To know loss
is to fear death
of much-loved reputation
and taxing self-respect.

When therapy
lends Her feminist sway
to know
and co-invest in life
is to predict
and cherish...

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S/he was angry
never fully feeling
it was her time to fly,
even if alone.

And now afraid
this is his time
to die
never having known
quite 
how to fly together....

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There is this hypothesis
I unjustly
and perhaps traumatically
just made hard and patriarchally up
is not down 
and retentatively not out
soon enough for healthy comings 
and goings

A ridiculous...

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Too many times sadly
too seldom gladly
I must learn to trust
Earth's future more

Both Father Sun's timeless 
rounds of enlightenment
and Mother Earth's
codependent rhythms
regenerating rich 
empowering 
soulful soil
and...

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To prepare for final cosmic breath
exhaled

echoing first breath
inhaling
waiting to exhale

silent sacred pause 
for Earth's final soliloquy 

Terminating all humane
and inhumane futures,
healthy
and disturbing relationships,
elegantly excruciating ecstasy

Leaving...

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Settling into love
for a person
for a sacred place
fertile 
organic 
rich growing space

Easy when felt
obviously
warmly
positively
copassionately
robustly returned

Difficult when mean
selfish
cruel
cold indifference
perpetuates competing
to not further communicate

Bilateral lose/lose 
zero-sum competitive...

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It's weird
and sometimes wild
living with a non-LeftBrain verbal dominant
aspiring child,
now young adult

I find myself waiting for him
to nonverbally connect
and correct me
about my patriarchal domineering
economic and...

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