He’s a guy, he’s just a guy
He will not look away
He will look you in the eye
He will fart
It will stink
Blow his nose
Spit in the sink
Cuz he’s a guy, just a guy
He will help ya change a flat
Tell ya when you’re gettin’ fat
He will take two twisted wires
And with a pair of pliers
Fix that toy that made you cry
Yes!! He’s that guy
If he’s really lucky
He’ll meet a damsel cute and plucky
And when people ask her “why”
She’ll reply:
“cuz he’s my guy!”
So all you guys in waiting
Beware the traps that they are baiting
For all “fishermen” believe
It’s not the catch it’s the retrieve
Just remember they’re are women
Who still enjoy naked swimmin’
And a walk along the beach
Her guys hand in easy reach
But, he will stop to take a pee
Arcing it into the sea
Then forget to zip his fly
Cuz ….HE’S A GUY
Categories:
pair of pliers, fun, humor, men,
Form: Rhyme
Finally put down those bad habits
Upset that apple cart
Swore off all the things that I
Swore I'd never start
When you're out there playing young and dumb
Thinking you can handle it
That's when the devil comes along
With a mighty grip
Placing your feet to the fire
Serving up last meals
Grabbing your soul with a pair of pliers
Holding it to the grinding wheel
All the smoking and the drinking
Is not what it pretends to be
Lost time with its ambition
And future guarantees
Other habits need not be mentioned
As this my mom may read
Suffice to say that those days
Were more than footloose and fancy free
Given it all up, one by one
Every rotten slice
No more stuffing of the face
In the eating of that pie
As I'm back to clean and sober
Able once again to breathe
All of it is finally over
With that there's no more need
No more feet placed to the fire
Serving up of the last meal
Satan can put away his pliers
As dust settles on the grinding wheel
Categories:
pair of pliers, farewell, life,
Form: Rhyme
There once was a lanky cowpoke named Pete,
Who, when he walked got tangled in his feet!
He'd spent years ridin' his horse,
Becomin' bow-legged, of course!
Looked like a pair of pliers pacin' the street!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
All Rights Reserved
Categories:
pair of pliers, cowboy-western,
Form: Limerick
There was once an old cowpoke named Meyers
For decades he'd rode an old hoss named Squires
He'd roped steers and fixed fences
Enjoyed beer and square dances
And was bowlegged as a pair of pliers
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
pair of pliers, cowboy-western, funny, old, old,
Form: Limerick
Tangled in a briar of wires
Securing twists from a pair of pliers.
Seated neatly in the center,
Waiting for the next to enter.
With no one else to share the space,
I’d disappear without a trace.
Together we would have such fun,
Waiting for the cut and run.
And should that time ere come to pass,
We’ll pour ourselves another glass.
And talk of things that have gone on,
While waiting for the break of dawn.
For evil invention takes its spark,
While left waiting in the dark.
But with only one other hand to hold,
All thoughts are turned back on the bold.
When hearts beat true, strong and brave,
It's always you that I will save.
And if our souls should start to mend,
We’ll fight it to the very end.
While Revelation waits out back,
It’s the Genesis I clearly lack.
Categories:
pair of pliers, introspection,
Form: Light Verse
Time to clean my shop,
Work will never stop.
Tools need to be put away.
Sawdust needs sweeping,
Cobwebs are creeping,
My soul is in disarray.
A pair of pliers,
Some speaker wires
Hang them up on the pegboard.
A set of drill bits,
Is giving me fits,
Problems can not be ignored.
If I’m feeling lost,
It’s too high a cost,
So cleanliness I’ll extol.
Then son of a pup
I’ll build myself up,
In my shop I’m in control.
ALOUTTE YOUR CLEANSING RITE
By Tony Lane
Categories:
pair of pliers, introspection,
Form: Rhyme