Overdosing Poems

Nostalgia is a Drug

I was all wet from the rain
Losing my mind in a park
Sitting on the swing till dawn
The summers I saw more sunrises 
Than the back of my eyelids
Slipping quietly amongst the vampires sleeping under the overpass 
 If Nostalgia is a drug, I'm overdosing
So I cling to porcelain Gods begging for forgiveness
You can't take back what time takes away
And when you walk down memory lane those things you hold dear will no longer be there 
There's a story only I can tell
Standing on the sidewalk alone

The Echoes

For something so small
And so damaging
You sure go down smooth 
The sugar coating slides down my throat
Into the empty abyss of my stomach 
Where it dissolves and gets absorbed into my bloodstream 
And silences all thoughts and numbs the pain 

My personality is not multi-faceted 
It is multiple people fighting for dominance 
I sometimes forget who I am or where I am 
In my own little ship 
Sailing across the water 

If I take enough ibuprofen,
I don't feel pain 
The seas calm 
But the waves come 
Every time another mind takes over 
At this point I'm overdosing
All of my joy and pain 
Belong to another 

I'm drifting into turbulent waters 
And I can't swim back to the safety of the shore 
I am just a little girl at heart 
Trapped in a mental prison 
The original mind I once knew 
Has been gone for years

Symphony Orchestra of Love

You're a beauty 
A sexy something and  quite a cutie 
Baby you know you're my sunshine 
Even in the  shade

You make my good times
I'm squared away
My elation this election 
My selection 

Endowed conversations cream
And nectar satisfaction 
I write this song for you
Clearly my future sparkles 

As a tinsel town jingle 
Gentle generally gentler 
Sing for me,  symphony sin for me
I am enthusiastic  in fact you're fantastic 

I measure my day with heaping spoons
Of your specialness we deserve a parade
You are the same  as I remember 
Oh I forgot, it was just yesterday.

Or the day before 
Please pour more I'm overdosing. 
So sing to me 
Symphony orchestra play play. 

I wear my heart on my sleeve
Those sensational chords of yours
You are the scent of me symphony 
Orchestra play play play 

I am absorbed 
Exhausted,  I applaud

Sentimentality

Oh the humanity 
the humanity 

Oh spare me the grief 
thy fake tears 
woe is me, mentality 
syrupy behaviour 
Munchausen propensity 
it sticks between my teeth 

Oh spare me the pathos
ham acting baloney
Phoney and pathetic 
pennyroyal tea fatigue 
Histrionic vagaries
self righteous piety

Oh spare me the maudlin 
attention seeking thievery 
Drowning in poignancy 
sentimental molasses 
Throw yourself to the floor 
overdosing in twee

Oh spare me forever 
stomach churning violins
emotional instability 
Wallowing in saccharine
exaggerated sob stories
But most of all 
the absence of apology 


Sentimentality Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Julia Ward
25/05/22

Building a Fire

Had a smirk of sorrowful clarity 
Someone dancing on my grave.
And a artist 
The night was gathering materials.
 Knowing  ambition for pleasure
Would never fill the pit.
The night called for a burn
All the grasped boxes of blankets
Nostalgic wood, Rhapsodies of a ratt-packen
Journals, binders, scraps of thoughts
Nick-knack volumes of prophets
Overdosing on written salvation
Hoping for a instance coffee relief
A always, never the fallow-through
More is pilled, the mix of kindling
Dirty-bits, and old yearnings 
A stone from a beach, of first love
Scrapbooks of holding mortality
**** mags, and bed follies pics
A secrete place a catholic boy goes
My heap inter-mixed with nature
All of it dead, until  the match
Erupts a fire enjoying feeding
Impermanence is really scarred 
So is observing the flame
Hypnotic destruction is fire at night 
Eyes dance to flares refection
Chaotic colors of visible heat
A calm abiding trance
Warm glowed my garments
In ambers consuming to ash

The Center

The cool, blue tiles at the Center were a soft memory of downtown
Where my mom and I once picked red flowers from bushes on Christmas
There was a time when she decided to take me to the Center for lessons.

Coming out of the stall in the bathroom 
I saw a body lay across the floor
I wasn't sure if they were alive so I ran out without checking a pulse
I was only twelve or so and I found someone and told them about it
I spent a long time wondering if they were diabetic or overdosing.

Hypodermic Illusions

Pine needles fall on manicured lawns
  on quiet streets where elm trees grow
 But in their midst a demon yawns
 And screams through veins from which it flows

 Hypodermic illusions line the curb
 where cars are parlors for getting high
 Overdosing in the suburbs
 The inner city has no alibi

 A nightmare on elm street 
 and Freddy Kruger is nowhere in sight!
 But the boogeyman does not retreat....
 yet some will not awaken from the night!

Goodbye My Love

Goodbye My Love:
I gave you all of me and you turned
At the stake you had me burned
You threw me away like all others
I wonder, why did I bother
You told you wanted forever
What you really meant is you wanted me NEVER
You have hurt me down to my soul
Looking at it now, that must have been your goal 
You threw me away like a piece of trash
I am overdosing...I am going to crash
I cannot take this life any longer
You made me weaker when you were supposed to make me stronger
I am fading away, soon I’ll be gone
What you have done is so very wrong
You had me where you wanted me
You threw me away, I am leaving, I am finally going to be free
I will fly high above you and look down on you
I will turn on you when you are feeling blue 
You hurt me and I will hurt you in retaliation 
You thought you knew me, I am a figment of your imagination 
I was here for you, now I’m gone
This has been coming for so long
The world is too cold and dead for me
I am leaving, it’s time to be free
Goodbye my “love” 
I will soar above you like a dove 
I am going to be the on your mind for eternity 
You will never find me...Let me be

That Is Not a Window

Flower of pain
Beauty so insane
Couldn't grasp the reflection
Overdosing the addiction
Hidden in blood and bones
Silence unknown
No ears for advice
No music, just ice
Metal it hurts
Run little red bird

High

opiods of the masses, oxycodone. 
yummy. slows me down.
makes me warm
I feel love. 

Kratom, Kava Kava, 
Marijuana. 
Overdosing on love.
I feel love. 
and I feel very sick. 
love sickness.

mental anguish cured by broken ribs. 
how I got the narcotics. 
but they don't last. 
love doesn't last. 

I won't die if you don't die. 
I will resist the temptations. 
I will go sober, I will be clean. 
I know who I love, I lied before.
I wish you knew that I want more.

A Market For Mental Health

I design cards for eighteenth parties,
And every other birthday.
And I design cards for condolences,
For folks who’ve passed away.

My designs can be happy, sad or plain,
Whatever you really want.
And I can make them easy to read,
In an “easy to read” sort of font.

Then it occurred to me there’s money here,
There’s a market for being kind.
To make cards for people suffering alone,
Alone in silence in their mind.

For people cutting and for suicide attempts,
Like people overdosing on a pill.
To design intimate encouraging cards,
For folks who are mentally ill.

For the opportunity contest.

Melting Pot

By Laura
May 26, 2016

I'm juat a place to find you
I had a purpose in life
Why did I make a promise
Found the edge in a knife

Maybe I had to be here
I was too drunk to drive
It turns out you were dishonest
I barely came out alive

I got a ride from a friend
We cut straight through the dead night
The rules were missing from us
Cause I found you in the light

Cause honey didn't you know?
I fell in love with a ghost
Still don't believe that you're real
Can you take me to the coast?

I'm just a fool for emotions
I'm overdosing on love
And I have news for your heart
Your voice; it fits like a glove

So hand in hand we will walk
Forever lost in this place
Cause I found you in a touch
You always make my heart race

[listening to "headache" by Joyce Manor]

My Promise

Half my time is spent bruising my own ego, 
as I literally try to command every cell in my body to forget you entirely. 

To forget your stupid face, your name, and all the things I can't stand about you.
Or worse.. all those things I'm ashamed to admit I love about you. 

In the end, pretending your nonexistence only antagonizes me more. 
The absence of you is louder than the endless supply of smart ass remarks you never seem to run out of.

You take the joy out of every day, you rob me of the fun in getting high, 
You steal the very colour from my sight!
Forcing me to star in this silent black and white film with horrible lighting.

The other half of my time consumes all the rest of my energy.
As I will the fibers of the Universe into energy that does my simple bidding-
Overdosing your every single thought or impulse with only one yearning desire:
Visions of me, covered in only green lace and liquid codeine. 

Oh the things I would do to you! 
I would go to such lengths to pretend to please you.. 

I want to give you the world just so I can take it from you later. 
And because you are the fire of my soul, my one and only..
I promise you I will.

I'Ve Seen Hope

Angry fists pommel a defiant face;
racial slurs punctuating each bruised eye.
And as punches start to increase in pace,
a black man collapses; then boots let fly.
I've seen hate.

The needle twitches while injecting death;
instead of a high, you slip into shock.
And overdosing, you're gasping for breath,
drowning in your vomit while strangers gawk.
I've seen fear.

Staring at the past as it disappears;
having lost your home, you live on the street.
And that vacant look lingers past the tears
as you sacrifice pride and face defeat.
I've seen sad.

When an injured soldier cries out in pain,
a medic responds, undeterred by fear.
And his uniform is a blood-soaked stain;
as he tends to the wound, then drags him clear.
I've seen brave.

Icy currents grip the boy like a vise;
immediately, his mother jumps in.
And when frantic rubs no longer suffice,
she warms him up next to her naked skin.
I've seen love.

An infant is born an innocent dove;
with skin so soft it almost seems to melt.
And triggering unconditional love,
this babe embodies feelings deeply felt.
I've seen hope.

Hidden

HIDDEN

Bad turns to worse
Opening yourself to the hurt
Repeated acts of suicide
Disrupted family, no charm

Emptiness, sense of not belonging
Relationships going downhill, falling
Love then comes hate
Impulsiveness, horrible mistakes

Not allowed to change the past
If I could, more mistakes will come
Happiness will not last

People judge me for things I can’t help
Experiences, emotions I have felt
Restless, risky
Over exaggerating all the time

Never relaxed, but sometimes
Anxiety grabs and consumes me
Loosens up on its grip
But I will never really be free

Inappropriate anger, frantic it seems
The lonely hole in my heart, gigantic
Young, paranoid and alone
Disturbed, friends they disown

Identity gone, self-image uncertain
Self-destructiveness, I hide
Overdosing, a risk I have taken
Recurrent threats, promises I keep breaking

Difficulty doing what I am told
Not good with management
Excessive efforts to avoid abandonment
Restless, diagnosed borderline has me by the throat

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