I'm walking on a tight rope on poles so tall.
Don't know who will catch me when I fall.
Don't know who'll dance at my wedding ball.
Don't know if I'll even ever have one at all.
Categories:
old maid, lost love,
Form: Quatrain
I’m at the age where
I’ve grown really long hair
And I don’t denim care
That the trend is to cut it
No longer wearing high heels
Just for a flex or a thrill
More about how my feet feel
And they don’t love it
I don’t have many pink plans
Flying by seat of peach pants
Keeping my praying hands
I am blessed with contentment
Becoming a red recluse
Enjoying sandy solitude
Embracing my various moods
Without any raspberry resentment
I wonder of me what they say
Am I now an old onyx maid
Because there’s no wedding day
It tickles me pink to think
That my out of wedlock birth
Gave my life priceless worth
Despite sermon of online church
I entertain purple pondering
Categories:
old maid, birth, poetry, red,
Form: Rhyme
My brother Richie used to turn into a loon when he got the old Maid.
His face would turn red, scarlet, plum, and a bright fuchsia shade.
The rest of us would know, and we could not stop laughing at him.
The one who laughed the hardest was our crazy Uncle, Weird Jim.
Weird Jim tormented Richie after he got the dreaded Old Maid card.
Mom tried to warn him, because Richie got angry terribly fast and hard.
He ran after Uncle Jimi with his head down like a bull, and ran into a wall.
We now have a head dent in the dry wall, and Mom is on a doctor’s call.
Categories:
old maid, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme
She was an old maid with six brothers,
Once again, she held a gun on her “date”.
He began to shake.
His boots clanged together.
Another one gone? A brother said.
The rest of them laughed.
Insurance they would never have to cook or clean.
Categories:
old maid, brother, sister,
Form: Light Verse
She lived alone in her sister's house
quiet is a poor church mouse
She cooked and clean for her keep
up the attic room she did retreat
She dressed plain with colors drab
a smiling face she never had
She seldom ever went out
her conscious pure without doubt
Her sister's family could not be blamed
changing her she would not entertain
Her nieces tease her is a living ghost
for breakfast she fed them burnt toast
Her cat stayed with her in her room
rumors were at night she flew the broom
Her demeanor was of a Dark Ages nun
her sister never remembered her being fun
She died one night in her sleep
no one notice for a week
Her funeral was very small
ashes in a gray urn dull
Letters she wrote to herself
discover while cleaning a bottom shelf
Were words poetic of an unknown soul
rapture of life express in poem's prose
Categories:
old maid, life,
Form: Rhyme
Shogi
me?
I can barely play Go Fish
Old Maid is well over my head
Shogi?
I think not
Shogi: Japanese chess
where you get to use your
opponent’s captured army
Categories:
old maid, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Light Verse
Old Maid Hadder, Got Madder And Madder
Old maid Hadder, got madder and madder
wind blew her bonnet and wet upon it.
Soaking showers from a blackbird's bladder
taken aback, next she fell doggone it!
Did not matter, her day in a tatter
rain pouring down, gave her another frown.
Wind drove and gusted all the more at her
in her shame she felt even more a clown!
She could never rise not that it matters
her sad life now placed her in such tatters.
Her legs exposed showed fatter and fatter
with no lover, simply did not matter!
Sad tale of a mad, old lady Hadder.
To get up, had to use a step ladder.
Robert J. Lindley, 10-17-2015
English sonnet- (modern)
Syllables Per Line: 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10
Total # Syllables: 140
Total # Lines: 17 (Including empty lines)
Words with (syllables) counted programmatically: N/A
Total # Words: 109
Categories:
old maid, funny, humorous, language, smile,
Form: Sonnet
The Old Maid Gets a Goat
By Elton Camp
Miss Prunella found it too hard
To continue to mow her yard
For a solution, she asked all around
“Buy a goat,” was the advice she found
They said, “It’ll keep your yard neat
And fresh goat milk can’t be beat.”
She fenced her yard to prepare
A goat was soon grazing there
It’s true that her grass it ate
Also to shrubbery it did relate
“Oh, my goodness,” she said
After it devoured her flower bed
Some goat milk she decided to try
For, in the store, she couldn’t buy
Her attempt to milk sure did fail
Miss Prunella had bought a male
Categories:
old maid, humor,
Form: Rhyme
There was a old maid that lived in a house, That old maid took a look under her house and she could not tell what is down there. The old maid took a candle and went down there and she saw a dead body and it was an old maid that was there before her. The old maid did not know what to do ? So she said I am out of here no more old maid in this house bye.
Categories:
old maid, funny, mystery, house, old,
Form: Light Verse
"Hi baby!"
endless phone calls,
to unsuspecting members of "the family"
the sweet OLD maid squeaks....
her lovely ancient SOUL, "hi honey" she squeaks.
Makes me WONDER, is this someday how I will SPEAK?
Categories:
old maid, allegory
Form: I do not know?
It took 44 years for me to marry.
When your my age that's kind of scary.
Thinking old age would get me first.
Or even something like dying of thirst.
Then one day my Knight did shine.
At that moment I said he's mine.
It's my old friend from twenty years.
I used to sing songs in his ear.
We used to get a lot of stares.
The song I sung was Unanswered Prayers.
He'd asked me twice when I was twenty.
But being young and men were plenty.
That's when I should of followed my heart.
Instead of spending 20 years apart.
I lost that time we could have shared.
But now we're hitched and the perfect pair.
Categories:
old maid, love, passion, me, age,
Form: Rhyme
Glissandra spins gossamer nets
Of sticky white webbing that gets
Her all the captive she needs:
Her spider-string oozes like sap,
The unicorns step in her trap—
Soon they will serve as her steeds.
Glissandra rides out from her lair,
The wind singing tunes in her hair,
Unicorn under her thighs;
With spider-web stirrups and reins,
Glissandra rides hillside and plains
Under the thunder-split skies.
She gallops the high road to town,
But gates in the walls clatter down,
Sentries with crossbows appear—
“Turn back, pretty rider, turn back”
The sentinel cries through the black:
Darts whistle close to her ear.
Glissandra returns to her nest,
Resuming what she knows the best,
Weaving her webs—her life’s chore!
But sometimes she pines for the life
Of being some villager’s wife—
No one wants her—as before!
Categories:
old maid, animals
Form: Verse
Glissandra spins gossamer nets
Of sticky white webbing that gets
Her all the captive she needs:
Her spider-string oozes like sap,
The unicorns step in her trap—
Soon they will serve as her steeds.
Glissandra rides out from her lair,
The wind singing tunes in her hair,
Unicorn under her thighs;
With spider-web stirrups and reins,
Glissandra rides hillside and plains
Under the thunder-split skies.
She gallops the high road to town,
But gates in the walls clatter down,
Sentries with crossbows appear—
“Turn back, pretty rider, turn back”
The sentinel cries through the black:
Darts whistle close to her ear.
Glissandra returns to her nest,
Resuming what she knows the best,
Weaving her webs—her life’s chore!
But sometimes she pines for the life
Of being some villager’s wife—
No one wants her—as before!
Categories:
old maid, animals
Form: Verse