Majored Poems


Premium MemberEnk Shuss Climbs the Ladder

Contrary to today's psychology
  Enk Shuss majored in Anthropology
     Though not very practical
     Anthro proved quite tactical
  Enk's the new head of Criminology
Categories: majored, career, education, giggle, moving
Form: Limerick

Harry Does Not Want To Marry

She just would like to marry
And her own wedding flowers carry;
On this no longer tarry,
For she can babies carry;
Yep, on this cease to tarry;
Fast make it like Ferrari!

Time to start hating Arnold Harry,
Who mainly cares about eating Garri,
Determinedly wasting time 
While it is quite ripe time
To judge this a real crime  
And add that it tastes like lime.

She, sure, should try The Ageing man,
Whom she knows as only Dan,
 Who has been her sparing a smile 
And in it no obvious guile …

And she shall Harry owe no apology,
Who has majored in Biology, 
Child bearing risky after Thirty-five,
With God out of it and one won’t be alive.
Categories: majored, age, food, love, marriage,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberI'M Having a Fart Attack

My cousin’s just earned his degree
He majored in fartology
Now he can impart
What foods make me fart
He’s obsessed by scatology


I confessed that beans give me wind
(It matters not if fresh or tinned)
And onions and sprouts
In any amounts
cause farting that I can’t  rescind


The wind I produce is quite drastic 
as medics say my colon’s spastic
my poor tummy swells
I release foul smells
I’m thankful my waistband ‘s  elastic

FICTIONAL POEM FOR FART-TASTIC CONTEST

Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke

09/15/21
Categories: majored, body, humorous, wind,
Form: Limerick

Arm Bilateral Amputation

Sociology and Psychology

What I had majored in college was sociology,
And followed up with a minor in psychology;
Wife went ballistics;
Also took statistics;
Now am extremely interested in epidemiology.

Public health appears to be a central issue
and tendency now. What causes chaos and
terrorism is also astounding. Terrorism is
not a religious but a cult movement. What
other cults exist in America that you can
think of?

Jim Horn

Over 10 again.

Arm Bilateral Amputation

What he did was result of premeditation;
Several killed and others need sedation;
Major surgery,
With urgency;
One experienced arm bilateral amputation.

Trump has been naughty and not very nice,
And now the rest of us must pay the price;
Orange hair,
That at stare;
When you are looking will find much lice.

Jim Horn

Still over 10. Shooting for 4,600 mow
and on to 5,000 and number 3. You
must set goals.
Categories: majored, allegory, analogy,
Form: Limerick

Tribute To the Intellectual Pathfinder

Majored in Social Anthropology -
Healdtown a significant influence 
in his life .Not only was Mafeje an 
influential academic, he was a man 
of brilliance, intellect and insight.


His trials and tribulations were many. For example,
Archibald addressed a crowd which was ‘illegally gathered’,
and for that reason he was arrested.  He did not despair. 
A force in the fight against injustices and marginalisation.
A custodian of African heritage, awareness and identity.

A protector of the African identity, of African roots and rights;
Mafeje contributed to South Africa and its nationals. An ‘intellectual
pathfinder’ who played his role in enhancing  the people of Africa’s 
knowledge and self –worth. That which he bestowed, both on the scholarly
and political spheres  was no mean feat. He shone in both scholastic and 
insightful ways. A man of brilliance, intellect and insight. A focused pathfinder.

He laid the foundation for future African scholars embarking on a similar               path of study. He also raised the benchmark in his field of study. A fountain of 
knowledge and an author and researcher of repute.A focused pathfinder.
Categories: majored, courage, culture, dedication, education,
Form: Free verse


I Knew They Were Wrong

I KNEW THEY WERE WRONG

I knew they were wrong
In the northern region
When their eyes cried a river
When their feet stumbled the rocky ground
When hands feeble couldn’t carry a spoon

I knew they were wrong
In the dumpy smelly streets
When she dropped the baby from between her legs
The glue sweet on her mouth
Her eyes so red, her mind out of this world

I knew they were wrong
That day long I watched the reports
My ears longed for a positive message
But deaths, wars, hunger and crimes majored their words
Why do they sit in the big house of sweet baked rich cake?

I knew they were wrong 
When I saw the big cars
Oh it was election time begging time again
Its been five calendars gone since I last saw them
Today their boots are full, handsome pockets for charity

I’ll say it now, coz tomorrow might never be
We have leant it the hard and easy ways
We know their tricks, like the back of our hands
An A we would all score, on their subjects paper
We know their wrongs, its time they made them right.
Categories: majored, political, poverty, power,
Form: ABC

Marie

The chambermaid of the tavern her name Marie 
Alluring captivating fair maiden all would agree 
Smiling flirting undoubtedly her majored degree 
Scurrying making the rounds not missing a knee
Many a fool who has sat on a stool including me
Envisioned her with enchanted dreams of fantasy 
In no way am I saying she charges by an hourly fee
Just peddling spirits of seduction be her pedigree.
Categories: majored, satire
Form: Monorhyme

Malarial Pottery

something in so-called modern
     landscaping amuses me no end,
          be it in plush mansions, resorts
               or some cottages round the bend;

seems that to residents who fancy
     themselves as aesthetically cultured,
          a well-mown grassy lawn is never
               considered artistically manicured

unless there are antique-looking
     pots and jars scattered around
          which must be slightly cracked
               and partly sunken in the ground,

like accidentally unearthed markers
     for a mummified queen's jewelry,
          but to ordinary plumbers like me,
               this is a health-risky, silly mystery;

the pots and jars breed bad skitters
     that inject malaria into your artery,
          insects don't care if you majored
               in archaeology, minored in pottery.
Categories: majored, animals, funny, people,
Form: Rhyme
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