Jan Allison Poet Limerick

I'M Having a Fart Attack

My cousin’s just earned his degree
He majored in fartology
Now he can impart
What foods make me fart
He’s obsessed by scatology


I confessed that beans give me wind
(It matters not if fresh or tinned)
And onions and sprouts
In any amounts
cause farting that I can’t  rescind


The wind I produce is quite drastic 
as medics say my colon’s spastic
my poor tummy swells
I release foul smells
I’m thankful my waistband ‘s  elastic

FICTIONAL POEM FOR FART-TASTIC CONTEST

Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke

09/15/21

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John Read December 28, 2024 at 11:00 AM My friend was very fond of beans, and on brussel sprouts he was ever so keen, he would empty the room, has he farted in tune, to the anthem God save the Queen.

Caren Krutsinger October 1, 2021 at 12:15 PM Hilarious in every direction!

Ann Peck October 1, 2021 at 10:32 AM HaHa! That's too funny! And so very clever! And penned so perfectly! Congratulations on your win!

Beata Agustin September 28, 2021 at 5:55 AM Wow! Congrats! Thanks for this "fartastic" muse of yours, making me chuckle. God bless you.

Joanna Daniel September 27, 2021 at 10:35 PM Congratulations, Jan, fun ones:)

Paula Goldsmith September 27, 2021 at 9:05 AM Congratulations on your win. What a fun/creative write. Love It. Have a blessed day with your win...............

Jack Horne September 27, 2021 at 4:48 AM LOL, hilarious. I only recently discovered that there are drs of scat - some guy was on TV enthusing about a huge Viking turd, ha ha

Michelle Copeland September 19, 2021 at 2:07 PM hahahaha! love it xx

Jennifer Proxenos September 19, 2021 at 9:59 AM This is excellent Jan, you had me in stitches and my husband - supercalifragilisticexpealadocious! Hugs, blessings, Jennifer.

Delice Arleen Skelly September 19, 2021 at 9:11 AM Fartastical poem Jan. lol...Delice

Geoffrey Brewer September 19, 2021 at 5:16 AM May the wind be always at your back! Nice one, Jan

Rico Leffanta September 17, 2021 at 9:37 AM You have blown the competition away with this entry! Aloha! Rico Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 3:54 PM Thanks so much Rico:-) hugs Jan xx

Pratap Roy September 17, 2021 at 5:39 AM Humourous ..... Enjoyed reading. God bless you. Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 3:52 PM Thanks so much Pratap:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen September 17, 2021 at 4:41 AM - You're still wonderful ... :))) - Have a lovely weekend, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 3:37 PM Thanks so much Anne-Lise happy weekend xx:-) hugs Jan xx

Supraja Kannan September 17, 2021 at 4:36 AM Hilarious, Jan... Thanks for the laugh... Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 3:37 PM Thanks so much Supraja:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds September 16, 2021 at 7:41 PM Brilliant Jan, love Lindsay’s reply, maybe you could go on tour with a Fartastical Musical… Belle :-) x Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 3:32 PM lol thanks Belle:-) hugs Jan xx

Simon Hamill September 16, 2021 at 5:42 PM Hi jan.you should meet my wife,as long as I'm not there.lol.its brilliant, thanks for the laugh.take care.simon:):) Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 2:04 PM Thanks so much for the smile Simon!:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie September 16, 2021 at 5:26 PM Hello Jan ... it won't be very long before you can fart the national anthem. Perhaps then you can enter Britain's Got Talent - Lindsay Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 2:03 PM ha ha ha if I had any talent it would be a step forward lol:-) hugs Jan xx

L Milton Hankins September 16, 2021 at 8:44 AM Perfect for the contest, Jan. I see this at the top of the list. Chantelle will love it, I'll bet! Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 2:02 PM Thanks so much Milton i hope to be around a little more often but this week has been very tough - they have covid in mum's care home and lets just say getting info that it is NOT on her unit has been so distressing :-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile September 16, 2021 at 3:58 AM With a contest called "Fart-tastic", I KNEW you would heed that call and you did not disappoint!! Hilarious Jan!! Happy Thursday! Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 1:59 PM Thanks sweet friend it has been a challenging week.. they have covid in mum's care home, at the moment she is ok and its not on her unit ... but it is such a worrying time:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper September 15, 2021 at 10:13 PM Awesome, missy Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 1:57 PM Thanks so much Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues September 15, 2021 at 6:09 PM Fun as always! Jan Allison September 17, 2021 at 1:51 PM Thanks so much Kim:-) hugs Jan xx