A poetaster I will always be
Renowned throughout eternity
For wonky metres and dodgy rhymes
Amongst my other versifying crimes
Like dull images and dreary words
Not to the liking of animals and birds
Whom Orpheus charmed with lyrics rare
While my efforts they just cannot bear
McGonagall is the master to whom I bow down
The man who merits the peerless crown
Of poetry so ludicrously solemn
That it earns derision in any newspaper column
His Forth Bridge production garners distinction
For drawing down mockery on its versification.
I must thank the website to which I belong
In allowing me to keep singing my song
That honour I bestow upon Poetry Soup
With its generosity towards my glutinous gloop
Knitting is an activity
I like to binge on and explore
Tempted by the colours
At the local spotlight store
All manner of gorgeous hues
In all different kinds of ply
Glow brightly from the shelves
Priced ludicrously high
I started off naively thinking
I'd make something fab to wear
Massively overestimating
My skills and time to spare
It's taken me absolutely ages
And honestly, it looks a bloody sight
One sleeve is longer than the other
And the neckband far too tight
Never mind! I soldier on
It will look better when it's done
But now I see I've dropped a stitch
And a holes begun to run
At last I'm on the homeward straight
Casting off the final row
But as nearly always happens.....
I'm out of yarn. The final blow.
So, why didn’t you stop
After seeing a red-eyed cop
You know could ask you to hurriedly drop
And have you childishly begin to hop
Or ludicrously bop
To still hard blows wire to your face while on top
And angrier, like gilled corn, pop!
A prelude to making you some grimy floor mop
Or in a nearby farm start planting a crop,
Retaining this over coat that does make you a fop?
Mammalian marrow, however brutal it tries,
It will always be dreadful.
Megaloblastic, mismatched, mammalian marrow.
Does the mammalian marrow assist you to shake?
Does it?
I cannot guess but stop and look at the passionate, additional affectionateness.
Are you upset by how lustful it is?
Does it rip you apart to assure the additional affectionateness so passionless?
An experienced eye is a weeping fountain.
The weeping fountain his experienced eye.
Never forget the cosmic and heroic experienced eye.
I saw the zany spirit of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned the secret soul.
Does the secret soul assist you in shivering?
Does it?
A moderate middle, however brutal it tries,
It will always be the size.
Does the moderate middle assist you in shivering?
Does it?
Don't believe that a healthy heartbeat is slow?
A healthy heartbeat is firm ludicrously.
Does a healthy heartbeat assist you in shivering?
Do it?
Standing at the kitchen sink
My wife quips “you are one happy person”
It is right there and then I realized
I have been found out
Time to confess
I am one of “those” “happy people”
And a morning person to boot
I admit I am an ice –cream-aholic
Hooked on chocolate Rocky road, 2 scoops
Left to my own devices I play hooky
My favorite vice mid day movies
Yes chick flicks
And I buy the ludicrously priced pop corn
Next up on the list a get away at the spa
Even if I fall asleep during the deep massage
Cruise ships are my Achilles heel
Where else do they make your bed
Feed you 24 hours a day
And you can hide from the world
My flexible job schedule allows for daytime bike rides
Who doesn’t want to be a kid again wind blowing through your hair
The bane of my existence, poetry writing
Anytime, anywhere at the drop of a hat or spur of the moment
To espouse words of wisdom or not
And connect with family, friends and complete strangers
Yes, there are up and down days but as the saying goes
“Be Happy”
Andreas Simic©
Powerfully pandered not pondered and plotted
Ostensibly organic not overtly originally spotted
Liars lipping lethargic lies lavishly construed and truly
Ire inducing ignorance imputing irresponsible foolery
Terrorizing timid tepid taxpayers to respond fast
In an impatient ill illegal inconceivable idiotic mad blast
Callously cold and cantankerously conniving bastards
Assiduously aspiring and aggravating masses mastered
Low lying lingering and living Luddite like lumberjacks
Limping 'long labored roads ludicrously lacking facts
Yet yearning yearly for yuppy snacks
they wouldn't even know what to do with it, nor deserve it.
Surly Sally slipped and lost a flip flop
at a hearty party in a bungalow with Billy.
while dancing and prancing to hip hop
whirling and twirling and spinning silly.
Can you reverse and remember the flop she flipped?
Well it ludicrously landed in the party punch bowl.
Nobody noticed while they slurped and sipped
and the dancers dipped and ripped and rolled.
They dipped, danced, pranced and laughed,
pirouetted, and sweated,
tipped and turned till totally daft.
Beer and booze abetted.
The next night they stayed sober and soloed somber.
Crashing and complaining Billy’s head hung,
both believed they’d been belted by a bomber.
Surly Sally swore she felt like dung on a rung!
Let this be a lurid logical lesson,
to those who think it’s only fun and frolick to abuse booze,
Or you too could be confessin’
And for lack of the light of this litany you’re liable to lose!
An answer to a challenge for John Freeman’s Alliteration contest
by my poetry friend, Gwendolen Rix.
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