Long Yorkshire Poems

The Spaniel

A Spaniel that uses its head 
Can tell when its owner’s unfed 
So instead of a duck
That is down on its luck 
Will deliver a pizza instead
 
The Afghan Hound

The Afghan’s a dog groomer’s...

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*** Notice to the residents of Milton Creek ***

Tom serves as mayor. never complaining, so he gets what he requests 
No blood in his steak, apple pie with sweet cream. Aces cooks that meal
to perfection...

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I get up to the sound of drilling, banging and speeding cars with sleepy passengers shouting, “a who did a give the order,” and the fading response of another passenger “ a the woman with...

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Strategically placed when raised 
Upwards
By your masterful and well 
Practiced hand.
To mingle with ever changing 
Skylines 
That frown down with arrogant 
Scowls
Upon the indigenous populous of 
This just and tolerant island.
To study and pontificate upon...

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ELLY MAY


poem by: Maria Williams

T'was the night before her birthday and Elly May
Still in the office putting stuff away
In her horn rimmed glasses and grey flannel suit
She was the epitome of perfection, the essence of...

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Hellboy danced with the best of them,
With a record here, though incomplete...
Winning almost all of the time,
What a miraculous feat!


Date Opponent Location Result
----------------------------------------------------------------------
XXxX Hecate L (fatality)
2004 Rasputin W
XXxX osiris club W
XXxX Witch L (fatality)
XXxX Dragon...

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The Rottweiler

I wouldn’t provoke a Rottweiler
Not unless I were prepped like a miler
Seems a little inbreeding
Done without heeding
Has turned Benji into a Sieg Heiler

The Saint Bernard

Though not in his nature to beg
He would flip for...

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ABOUT A LETTER 

I was cleaning and re-arranging my
Precious book-shelves,
A lot came down, a lot went back after dusting
Off, much of such
Dust, but one blue heavy book caught my attention,
I am not of those who...

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My wife Judith opened my eyes
into the world of adoption for pets
with special needs.

   It takes a special person to give
an animal a second chance at life
by adopting a special needs dog,
or cat.
...

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It was back in the 1920s that
Harold Welsner brought his fiancé home,
to show the family his lovely Sandra,
blue-eyed beauty, auburn hair, and small bones.

He wanted to show he Colorado,
his girl had never been out of...

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Down many of the coalmines in Yorkshire , Safety dictated that an alternative means of escape
had to be found just in case anything ever happened to the shafts that raised and lowered miners to their...

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Return Of The Tyke

Tyke, tyke, tyke' they’d chant to bait the bairn.
But insult hurled at Yorkshire folk is water off a back.
Take it, use it, grind it through the crank
As fuel for the fire, grist...

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Don’t worry about being thinner
Get yourself off down the pub
Then go home to a good British dinner,
Of British traditional grub

Delicious roast beef of old England
Served up with a thick Yorkshire pud
With roast spuds and cabbage...

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Remember the days of
                   yesteryear
when family ties were
         ...

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(The Battle for Orgreave Pit)

Cries of Zulu as miners rushed the barricades
Truncheons banging against riot shields
A nation at war with itself
Men of South Yorkshire,
United in the right to defend their pit

Maggie’s the Caesar of capitalism
Her...

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With her first words she mesmerized his soul,
Of rose water and lavender was her aroma,
Her tip tap of her fairy tale walk was majestic,
A woman of status still in her prime of depth and note,...

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Face fractured with fear 
As the Taxi drew near
The building was in the next street
" I'll drop you off here" 
Said Steve full of cheer
(Annoyingly rather upbeat.)

As you pushed on the door
It's sticky hinge ...

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GRANDMA’S ROCKING CHAIR  Pt 1
 
Grandma sits in her rocking chair,
Wisps of silver in her hair.
She sits me on her voluptuous lap,
As tales of yore she does recap.
 
Id touch the whiskers on her...

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Grace Harbour
First into Grace Harbour
Me in classic sailboat
At anchor alone
In Desolation Sound
Where silence reveals the place
And the world is bigger
Because I can hear its’ vastness
It’s Bioacoustic diversity
Seals surface, gulls dive, water ripples.
A breeze in a...

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They say you can tell what a person is thinking by the expressions on there face,
But what if all they are doing is smiling? What are they thinking then?

I like to sit in a garden...

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Michelin star cricketing cook…by hook or crook.. so canny..will find every nook and cranny…if you took a look at the record..score or text book ..won’t have forsook ..our dutiful..beautiful babbling Brook

Although the barmy army might...

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Children of Xenophobia

Children eating bullets and firecrackers 
Beggars of smile and laughter 
Silent corpses sleeping away fertile dreams 
Povo* chanting new nude wretched slogans 
Overstayed exiles eating beetroot and African potato 
Abortions and condoms batteries...

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Jam roly poly, treacle sponge
And sticky toffee pudding head the top of my list
But apple pie, rhubarb crumble
Or a decent cheesecake are hard to resist

Banana splits, eclairs or brownies
Dumplings, nougat, cheese board or mousse
Crème brûlée....

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The Death of my Town 
(for Bradford, West Yorkshire, England)

At first I was self-righteous and held the moral high ground
On approaching the imminent death of my town
Some days I would observe and shake my head
And...

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Hannah Crockroft has cerebral palsy from her birth, 
And having CP myself, she’s kind of special to me, 
Because CP is not derided anymore, much, as alien, 
But is called brain damage, not your own...

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