Long Vogon Poems

Everybody got a Hollywood life story
to tell
More meat on the bone
give juicier bites 
to sell
Nobody ever turns in a tarnished silver screenplay
Those warts and mistakes
get Photoshop casting couch edited away
Baby Jane rude attitude don’t make...

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The past is like a nightmare 

Only tale's left for the ears of the dead!!!
dead man tale no tale 
As eye are blind to see through the 
 The lenses Of tomorrow and what it...

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Flammer Me Gimbels #42
(a Vogon Pirate poem)

Flammer me gimbels, me trimbels and dromies,
Whenceforth I caminal scrabbit thy foamies.
Jeerbo or Jabox, ex labbit. Ex findle
Will not dethrail thee, ignibious twindle.

Ickwad of Thrumpus, I salue wack vornage...

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Here, at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 

Poetrysoup is on the menu! 

And to save our sacred website, perhaps the world ...

We must entertain and enter vague conspicuous contests 
With a true...

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Sopheceles studs chorale the Martyrdom call 'ems
ant-chant Thyme dash and Cheyenne bled-cles
and Mud Squadrorns dove colorblind
Link on-a-role spiked with trail and errs past

Prosed Persident  Mar. Argo near Key Bask Lame
22kay ears like Bugs Sunny...

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If stars could see the sun~
slurping the grunglethorp grains
from sweat-soaked streams,
purging puddles of blurmorgris,
you’d hear the phazephonyx symphony
of my intestines churning chyme
into acidic rhymes~
releasing piled pain upon
a peezling palette of biled ballads.

But why are the...

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Behold the abominable annals of the Storm domicile,
A living, groaning edifice of lumber and bureaucratic despair—
Where Allen Storm, the paternal prodigal of procedural pedantry,
Treads upon its creaking floors with the rigor of a misfiled memo,
And...

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Mea Culpa, but I Plead not Guilty.

Safe at home,
it was an ordinary day.
I was on PoetrySoup,
reading poems, page by page.
And then, the house shook,
I ran outside,
and to my surprise a light,
shining down from the sky,
lifted...

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I objestigate between arabesques and sleep,
fugaciously spasmodic in fluxes and leaps.
I'm indifferent to the misanthropic mocking,
that welltering inflection that I call plockingism.
It's their cheeky syncopated schisms that I rebut,
and yet they slantathunt for the right...

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Vogon ReVisited—

Voltage elect potential energy tween two points ver vnit vharged;
Visible  referring  light spectrum intergalactic, electromagnetic,
vadiation that has a wavelength tween vanometers; 
Can be seen by the human eye.
Invasions, implosions humanity asks WHY?

wazz!!!vitellogenesis...

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That’s jake, said the dewdropper to the bluenose who snorted. 
Mind your potatoes, said the wurp.  He had had too much footjuice.
The bluenose held a gasper out to the dewdropper. Here.
Nozzled, the wurp stumbled...

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I do not like to get snootlgsh this early in the day 
But I heard this tale from my whartlesnot of a neighbor
And even though she is sometimes titlewhemp
I felt the tale had some merit,...

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Twas in the waters, I waborn from flames and lust 
Ripped from the stars and the zoding fust
Cast into the salty and swirlin mesty sea 

Twas in the sky, I was as a cloud in...

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I sold my soul, no soulmate remains,
Just ashes and echoes of celestial chains.
I slipped through the cracks of the devil’s gate,
Now I’m the storm you’ll learn to hate.

Bad ideas bloom like roses with thorns,
I’ll rewrite...

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THIRD WORST CLATTER OF ANTIMATTER

clatter of antimatter
alien dishes splatter
(the shape of spaceships)

     his antennas* whir with rising
     he considers going wireless

a dish flying at warp speed
like a...

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I am the darkness that falls in to your dreams 
The nightmare that last longer throughout the night
The catcher of fear to lock-up the soul
A snatcher of spirit through a night invitation ceremony 
The only...

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O Luke o dare, Sad Truth Very Lucky 
Kwick rape picker o thus boot passed away
O dare thus boot duck, wiggle
[Passport please ... okay you may go]
Will come two A merry car
Sew dishes A merry...

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Written: January 10, 2025

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wenches of Whimsy and Woe
In the world of the fiddled...

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Flirt "a-n-t-o-p" itch, scrabch eau ladle 
Yabba scent moral reelf fablet
     C'ertain istic heft 
   log glitcheskin
Sellodaffle feft, fall guppit, helpfullf 
       ...

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Gladly, I greet the gristmill guard:
…..“God is good!”*

Governed am I by this goal in the granary:
…“Grind the golden grains gaily!”

Gallantly, I am gripped with grace-greatness:
…“Garner gems of generosity!”
 
Geared am I to grasp by grueling...

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I miss you now, miss the scent of your perfume smeared all over my body, just after hugging you tight, feeling our heart signals jamming frequencies around us, miss the melting moisture your hands catches...

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Jabberwocky, unknown talk for vogon,
Thingamajig, a comparable jargon,
If you get confused
When it has been used
Don't be afraid to conjure the Gorgon.


1. Jabberwocky is a nonsensical poem written by Lewis Carroll about the killing of a...

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Alexadrine’s gobbledygook:
Heidi morning was a beautiful dream
The whirlwind’s skinny day contemplation 
                       ...

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Go chase them from their dugouts,
Go chase them from their trench,
bayonet all their Look outs,
ignore their dead’s foul stench.

Tomorrow you go over,
The top, that is my lads,
and there is very little chance,
of your return from...

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A thunderous rumbling,
lightning flashing
all within my troubled brain,
I wander in a daze,
afraid of crashing.
The cause is plain,
I must see you again.

The passing years,
where each does live,
In joy and Sorrow,
and happiness spent,
Each with another,
who of themselves...

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