Long Vogon Poems

Embrace the confidence in you and all your dreams will come true
Throw your hands up in the air and act as if you don’t care
Look above the skies and watch the plane parading in the...

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Everybody got a Hollywood life story
to tell
More meat on the bone
give juicier bites 
to sell
Nobody ever turns in a tarnished silver screenplay
Those warts and mistakes
get Photoshop casting couch edited away
Baby Jane rude attitude don’t make...

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The past is like a nightmare 

Only tale's left for the ears of the dead!!!
dead man tale no tale 
As eye are blind to see through the 
 The lenses Of tomorrow and what it...

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Flammer Me Gimbels #42
(a Vogon Pirate poem)

Flammer me gimbels, me trimbels and dromies,
Whenceforth I caminal scrabbit thy foamies.
Jeerbo or Jabox, ex labbit. Ex findle
Will not dethrail thee, ignibious twindle.

Ickwad of Thrumpus, I salue wack vornage...

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Come with me to the secret spot and show me all that you have got, I want to light a candle to search your heart so meet me at the said spot before it gets...

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I see you standing there acting as if you don’t care, you have been listening to a lot of argument about the city and the gate, the  time has come when you have to...

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Vogon ReVisited—

Voltage elect potential energy tween two points ver vnit vharged;
Visible  referring  light spectrum intergalactic, electromagnetic,
vadiation that has a wavelength tween vanometers; 
Can be seen by the human eye.
Invasions, implosions humanity asks WHY?

wazz!!!vitellogenesis...

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That’s jake, said the dewdropper to the bluenose who snorted. 
Mind your potatoes, said the wurp.  He had had too much footjuice.
The bluenose held a gasper out to the dewdropper. Here.
Nozzled, the wurp stumbled...

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Budding rose with fragrance of spring flowing through the crowded streetleaving a fresh flower scent behind and courage to continue this journey of mine, the fragrance of love surround the street and tears began to...

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I do not like to get snootlgsh this early in the day 
But I heard this tale from my whartlesnot of a neighbor
And even though she is sometimes titlewhemp
I felt the tale had some merit,...

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Twas in the waters, I waborn from flames and lust 
Ripped from the stars and the zoding fust
Cast into the salty and swirlin mesty sea 

Twas in the sky, I was as a cloud in...

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THIRD WORST CLATTER OF ANTIMATTER

clatter of antimatter
alien dishes splatter
(the shape of spaceships)

     his antennas* whir with rising
     he considers going wireless

a dish flying at warp speed
like a...

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I am the darkness that falls in to your dreams 
The nightmare that last longer throughout the night
The catcher of fear to lock-up the soul
A snatcher of spirit through a night invitation ceremony 
The only...

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O Luke o dare, Sad Truth Very Lucky 
Kwick rape picker o thus boot passed away
O dare thus boot duck, wiggle
[Passport please ... okay you may go]
Will come two A merry car
Sew dishes A merry...

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The morning sun is dodging in the sky
Warming the grey clouds with radiance of love
And the wind passes swiftly in the bright blue mist
And the moisture wet my dry cracked lips
Something magnetic swept me away...

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Jabberwocky, unknown talk for vogon,
Thingamajig, a comparable jargon,
If you get confused
When it has been used
Don't be afraid to conjure the Gorgon.


1. Jabberwocky is a nonsensical poem written by Lewis Carroll about the killing of a...

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Alexadrine’s gobbledygook:
Heidi morning was a beautiful dream
The whirlwind’s skinny day contemplation 
                       ...

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Go chase them from their dugouts,
Go chase them from their trench,
bayonet all their Look outs,
ignore their dead’s foul stench.

Tomorrow you go over,
The top, that is my lads,
and there is very little chance,
of your return from...

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A thunderous rumbling,
lightning flashing
all within my troubled brain,
I wander in a daze,
afraid of crashing.
The cause is plain,
I must see you again.

The passing years,
where each does live,
In joy and Sorrow,
and happiness spent,
Each with another,
who of themselves...

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I am burning in the sweltering heat
And it is just over a hundred degree
The sun is burning in my head
And a terrible pain is writhing in my neck
And water is springing up in my face
But...

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There's...

america
anniversary 
art
autumn 
anxiety

best friend
betrayal
birth 
and the beach

candy 
car
city
celebrity

devotion
desire
depression
destiny

education
engagement
emo
and eulogy

future 
funeral
farm
funny love

gothic
girlfriend
grief 
and growing up

hair
hip hop
hockey
hilarious

immigration
inspiration
islamic
innocence

january
jewish
jobs
don't forget jesus

kiss 
kindergarten
along with
kid

london 
loss
lonely
and lyric

may 
me 
math 
then there's marriage

new york
new year
nonsence
nostalgia

old 
october
obituary
onomatopoeia

places
plants
pashto
and poetess

race 
rap
rainbow
rainforest

space
spanish
spiritual
with success

teenage
tiger 
trust
technology

vacation
volleyball
vogon
visionary

war 
water
women
and even...

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Wakey, wakey, shakey, shakey, earth is quakey, quicky, quicky, git up head down feet up turn round, then do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, then turn your inside out -- Far Out!

Shakey,...

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The power to fight the beast, like a feast inside the mind, only the beast in me is hard to find. Only to live with a good heart, to love from the start, what inside...

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The same people who are demanding 
I put a suffocating thong over my face
are the same ones who lift sieves from borders
and invite in the slag along with the gold
the ones with no respect for...

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The Wheelydoodler fickledabbler nuddogger irritated me beyond belief!
But he did not thunderbait me as badly as he thunderbaited Poosnortaflasher.
Poosnortaflasher told me had never felt so nuddogger irritated in her life.
What did that wheelydoodler fickledabbler nuddogger...

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