Long Varmints Poems
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The man was angry, had been for a long while
Waiting for someone to get the brunt of it
Did not realize all he had to do was step into the light
Was fearful of it; had seen it several times. Scared to try.
The house began to deteriorate around his rage.
Depressed, he slept for many years.
The house was unrecognizable upon his return.
Mice and raccoons had taken over.
They did not scare easily which enraged him.
He figured out traps for them, but they never worked.
Because no longer of the earth, he was not supposed to be here.
An empath arrived on a Tuesday.
She began coming daily – fixing things, mending holes.
The varmints left, which made the man feel better.
He liked her at first but then she sensed him and began trying to counsel him.
That made him unbelievably angry. How dare she!
He began to plot her death.
He killed her over and over and over in her sleep.
She felt it too, because she was an empath.
She left on a Tuesday.
He never sent to the light.
And he is waiting for you.
Amazing antiquated alluring alligators
Bending ballistic beyond belief barbells
Crushing curious crimson crucial crocodiles
Delighting dark dank daring darling dwarfs
Enormously elongated elves effortlessly enthusing eagles
Feeling frisky, ferocious, fervently, fanatically fine.
Green gators goading gregarious grievous gargoyles
Hyped up hungry hippos happily hurrying and heading
Into illustrious inlets, ignoring ignorant iguanas.
Jealous jumping jaguars juggle jagged jade jewels,
Kosher kicking kangaroos kill koalas with kindness
Laughing loons languish luxuriously and lightly
Meaningful monkey mascots masticate meaty meatballs
Nevertheless, nefarious needle noses nest in the north.
Opportune opportunists ostracize osprey and ostriches.
Pathetic purple porpoises propose to propel pouting princess.
Queen quickly and querulously questions this
Respectful, responsible, roughnecks readily respond rapidly.
Sadly sensuous swallowtails sing seriously and solemnly.
Taking terrific tubs of time to think
Understanding unilateral Unitarianism
Verifying various variegated varmints who vegetate
While willing whales wish worm water would wander away.
‘Xacting ‘xpecting ‘xtra ‘xams
Young youthful yellow yaps and yips
Zing zanily and zestily into this zealous zebra zoo.
January
New Year’s disclosure?
Starts with hangover
February
Cold snow exposure
Winter’s not over
March
‘til equinox’s bringing
Birds begin singing
April
Fools are empowered
Enter spring showers
May
Flowers start blooming
Summer is looming
June
School year’s competing
With summer’s greeting
July
Summer is steamy
So is bikini
August
The temperature’s baking
But Autumn’s awaking
September
The sauna’s departing
School-year is starting
October
Fun Halloween garments
Candy for varmints
November
Respect and remembrance
For valiant veterans
December
Kids get excited
Santa’s been sighted
January
Our new resolution?
Avoid self pollution
October 27, 2018 Six-Word Couplet Series Encore Poetry Contest Sponsor: Mark Toney
"Happy Easter To You!", is the greeting I hear them shout!
Alas, I just lamely roost here, brood, ponder and pout!
I've worked for weeks making eggs and I'm all tuckered out!
All this hoopla about rabbits, I can really do without!
Me, my mom, aunts, nieces and innumerable distant cousins,
Have been producing eggs by the gross and by the dozens.
Every Easter 'tis those wily bunnies earning the gratitude,
Leaving me and my kin with a very fractious attitude!
Moms send their kids to rob the eggs from 'neath our breast,
Telling them the rabbits made them - this I vehemently protest!
I'm thinking of a sitdown strike come Lent next year,
To frustrate those crafty varmints with a message loud and clear!
The kids make appalling designs on the beauties we produce,
And even tint our chicks in lurid hues, adding to the abuse!
The rabbits get all the glory and stir up all this commotion!
They don't lay eggs! I'll disabuse folks of that silly notion!
If I sound somewhat frustrated, well I reckon I am,
As those cunning scoundrels perpetuate their mythical scam!
Us chickens will just have to press on with our usual grace.
The truth will out, then we'll "cluckle" at the egg on their face!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Placed No. 3 in A Chicken Poem In Memory of Armano Aurocano Rock Star
You can't commit suicide by holding your breath
Going to try it now my good friends
If it works it's been great knowing you guys
If my poe-m e-n-d-s h-e-r-e t-h-e-n-n-n-n-n . . .
Don't panic people, still alive and kicking
Just joshing and having some fun
Macy's founders were passengers on the Titanic
They weren't among the lucky ones
There are 40,000 different species of spiders
Stomp on as many as you can
They're really good-for-nothing no-good-varmints
They deserve to be squished out of hand
Jellybeans contain crushed insect cocoons
That gives them their special shine
I'm never gonna eat another Jellybean again
Don't have a problem with that, I'm fine
Dairy cows apparently produce more milk
When listening to Der Bingle
It also encourages them dance a lot more
With the farm hands, the ones that are single
The insulting slang phrase “kiss my ass”
Dates way back to 1705
Street talk was popular even way back then
It's our duty to keep it alive
© Jack Ellison 2013
On the dry Prairie and then Mississippi Valley, yahoo buckaroo;
I come out eating choking dust daily, yahoo;
While on the long open range;
This cattle drive I parade;
Moo-be then dar doggies;
Through open Plains and Gulfs in Valley range;
Yippee ki-yay, Yahoo buckaroo doggies;
Got a rope and a horse, hey flowing mange!
Also got a sixth barrel caliber Bang Bang git them bandits;
I ain't going to be in shooting unless it's in self-defense;
Because this keeps me saved me from them Outlaws those dirty varmints;
That corn whiskey on my breath;
I'm a self-proclaimed cowboy;
I'm not afraid of this life or death;
And one day I'm going to be a big-time Lariat Oh, boy;
Screaming yippee ki-yay Yahoo buckaroo wooh!
From the range to the rodeo this is where I'm going to go;
I am a cowboy
1/19/21
Cowboy Poetry Poetry Contest
Rhyme poetry form only.
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
*Image of Night Images by Pixabay.
The Challenge of the Night,
'O Challenge of
the night spilt love,
thy fruits consumed me whole,
You wet my lip,
my heart did sip,
and bore from this my soul,
an aimless spry,
dare naught I die,
to get, ere this, my goal,
yet wraiths fingers,
clutched and lingers,
from my life why they stole,
'twas this here bottle,
caused unsubtle,
but it's only Sheol,
it's the effect,
mimics affect,
constructs a pricey toll,
varmints festered,
losers pestered,
Banshees are allowed to troll,
let's also talk,
and drink and walk,
way down the rabbit's hole,
(Hm?) seemed awake,
mayhaps not late,
back up, let's take a stroll,
(Ah!) that you miss,
but you're amiss,
all night, you're on parole,
here, I ne'er was,
you and your cause,
you were just sole on sole,
opt for reprieve,
lest you deceive,
reprise the Chalice role,
so sober up,
my bitter cup,
take a rest up that knoll,
beds of clovers,
best makeovers,
back to life makes the poll,
an o'er worked man,
loose tie, demand!
home fighting on the roll,
"Play it again,
Sam, entertain!
A challenge, my bankroll,
into the night,
savor delight,
now let angels console,
while Bacchus fruit,
makes repeat mute,
Challenge joins a black hole!"
2022 January 20
(my acknowledgement
to the loose canon of Robert Frost)
An above average snowfall
heavily swathed sage heather
followed by substantial unusual rainfall
punctuated months before, during and
after the growing season
delivered one of the
most hearty crop yields
in living memory
within the generations of men
of this (or any neighboring)
Norwegian bachelor farmer
long time residents
feeling like the sole housekeeper
of Lake Woebegone,
who can remember
the Edenic pasture with reluctance
raw bits and pieces mending wall
experiencing crushing childhood's end
weathered by their parents,
who as kids themselves
(during the worst
fear full Depression
in thee United States of America)
when countless farmers forced
by circumstance declared bankruptcy
locked out of hearth and home
no recourse 'cept to sell rural legacy...
family property deeds
(traced back to original settlers)
contrasts sharply with
plentiful, crucial, and
over abundant annual
precipitation, whereby these vestiges
of rural quaint lifestyle
awash with expansive lush cornfields,
whose silk like tassels
synchronously undulate
(sparsely dotting pastoral landscape),
blistered, calloused, and damned,
whether weathered by blizzards,
or pounded with powerful (one...two)
top notch pugilistic punch
topographical scars permanently earmark,
where Ole man winter relentlessly socked
or Mother Nature slammed a wall of water
saturating freshly mown hay,
which pungent odor
belied teeming flora and fauna
(albeit many organisms nearly invisible)
yet keenly observable to hawk eye,
also tempting black crows
to carrion camping
while a flock of seagulls
swoop down upon unsuspecting
school of fish,
and/or scurrying varmints.
The death of winter carries varied sights.
In April, when dandelions roar, “It’s Spring!”
green yards transform by magic overnight.
Gramps had sprayed his lawn, but in ours weeds bring
an old game for kids as they dance and swing.
Small windmills in disguise, children spread seeds
giving Grandpa a cause for some dismay.
He is no grouch, fence conversation leads
to friendly talk of butterflies at play -
riddles about what nature does in May.
The kids amazed, watch squirrels building nests,
questions evolve about the birds and bees.
Gramps calls them varmints - Mother's Nature’s pests.
“Ask your folks”, he replies with cough and wheeze.
In naptime dreams, he aims a gun at trees.
Gramps takes a walk, golf umbrella hovers
for spring rains do not announce their coming.
A neighbor lady hobbles to cover.
Listen, his cane on her sidewalk - drumming,
sweet songs of spring love, two voices humming.
written May 7, 2014, edited on May 25, 2014
Amazing antiquated alluring alligators
Bending ballistic beyond belief barbells
Crushing curious crimson crucial crocodiles
Delighting dark dank daring darling dwarfs
Enormous eager elegant elephants equally excited
Feeling frisky, ferocious, fervently, fanatically fine.
Green gators goading gregarious grievous gargoyles
Hyped up hungry hippos happily hurrying and heading
Into illustrious inlets, ignoring ignorant iguanas.
Jealous jumping jaguars juggle jagged jade jewels,
Kosher kicking kangaroos kill koalas with kindness
Laughing loons languish luxuriously and lightly
Meaningful monkey mascots masticate meaty meatballs
Nevertheless, nefarious needle noses nest in the north.
Opportune opportunists ostracize osprey and ostriches.
Pathetic purple porpoises propose to propel pouting princess.
Queen quickly and querulously questions this
Respectful, responsible, roughnecks readily respond rapidly.
Sadly sensuous swallowtails sing seriously and solemnly.
Taking terrific tubs of time to think
Understanding unilateral Unitarianism
Verifying various variegated varmints who vegetate
While willing whales wish worm water would wander away.
Xavier's ‘Xacting ‘xpecting ‘xtra ‘xams
Young youthful yellow yaps and yips
Zing zanily and zestily into this zealous zebra zoo.