Long Uranus Poems
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Our bubble of life in this vast Universe
A planet so dear, Natures from birth
She really is all that we know
But we know there are others
As our telescopes show
Named after Mythical gods, from our Human past
But these names will be known as long as we last
These gas giants and the terrestrials
Will become street talk in future juveniles
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars
Lets visit the above in space like cars
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus - Neptune
Before we go, lets stop off at the moon
The daddy of them all
The mother off all planets
The daughter has lost
The Sun has won it
How can it be, that this tremendous glow
Never strikes, or never goes slow
What will we do when she tires out
If you have the answer, please give me a shout
So remember, hey future when we pass them in cars
Their more important than us, they are the Stars
They are there for a reason, we just have not reached
But ancestors of our past, they did so preach.
As planets go, I like the earth.
With the blue-green orb, you get your money's worth.
It has a lot of things that squirm.
The best one of all is the earthworm.
But once in a while a fellow gets bored,
so I built a spaceship and jumped aboard.
Maybe you're sayin' you don't believe.
Come on mister, I wouldn't deceive.
Now that Pluto's been rejected,
Mercury is the first one I selected.
"I'm closest to the sun", he can boast,
so, we two had a weenie roast.
Venus cancelled my date with a fever,
She was so hot, I believe her.
Warning earth, this lovely maiden
said, "In greenhouse gasses, I am laden".
Skipping over to good 'ol Mars,
I asked, "why that red face of yours?
"He said, "I've been watching the third rock over.
It's embarrassing, and you can have your rover".
Jupiter's a planet that's truly jumbo,
so, I figured he'd know where to get good gumbo.
He said, you might wanna go down south.
I said, "well, then, shut my mouth!"
Next up, for your consideration,
I decided on some recreation.
The perfect place is on Saturn's rings.
I roller skated there - man that place swings.
I really didn't want to talk about Uranus,
a discussion, offensive or heinous.
Though, you might not believe this one bit,
my last stop was Neptune. That's pretty much it.
(***warning ungapatchka language ahead***)
Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea
zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking
off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent
includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial
soup possibly duplicating conditions when life
originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth
witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey,
gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy
oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba
like swallowing small towns with names such as
Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville,
& Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering
to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan
hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order
issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking
wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden
(accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea)
at long last Republican administration overhaul
which fête yours truly slated to host determined
(weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded
counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to
render spic & span where unsightly food scraps,
soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn
helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 4+
years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa.
Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order"
she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus
maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM)
yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic,
colorful expletives coarse language enough would
make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before
he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter
and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady
affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans
flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout
shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed
major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle
our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he
lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed
to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.
OMG
By R Henderson
Painful sweaty clumps of air converged.
From Uranus it demanded to be purged.
Your body full over engorged.
But the contract of passage had been forged.
The close escape, the quest for relief,
Was obtained but ever so brief.
Out it came in the form of a queef.
But so foul it shriveled a leaf.
Plant life could not even be sustained.
The odor Uranus's neighbor was to blame.
The culprit called out their name.
An arsenal like this had no shame.
But the glory was not felt for long.
Before the bubbles descending sent out their song.
Chords of warning to quickly be gone.
But the noses within the perimeter of Uranus took too long.
For stay they did with bright shining luster.
As down moved the atomic cluster.
Holding on as long as could be mustered.
An old Uranus let lose of a down right dirty foul crop duster.
Four minutes straight the eruption blew.
Within the air even flew
Through the air a piece or two
of Uranus's poo.
No one had listened to the rumble that foretold of this one foul deed.
The pintos, the collards, the black eyed peas.
Caused an explosion that even stopped the refreeze.
The sweet smelling aerosol refused to be freed.
So the stench lingered on everything.
The eyes watered, and Uranus stinged.
You had to sit down exhausted as your bell it dinged.
Finally the relief that a fart was destined to bring.
If I travel to the moon,
an extraordinary feat
I will not find you
in the street...
If I voyage to Mars,
I want to meet you there...
If I travel to the sun,
there I will find
the afterglow...
If I go to Pluto,
I will surely find
some brother Brutus...
If I go to Saturn,
I will have your love
daytime turn...
But if I go to Neptune,
I won't find any
King...
If you go to Uranus,
neither gold nor ocean
there I will have ruinous...
But if you go to Jupiter,
I will find Lucifer,,,
Better to stay here on earth,,,
because here the story
closes...
And I will not suffer and
forever your love
Will be...!
Look up: to see a dome of black velvet
lavishly set with crystals of starlight.
And watch time confetti infinity,
as trillions of lights twinkle in the night.
Mars and Jupiter share a reddish tinge
while Venus and Mercury are ablaze.
And though Neptune and Uranus are faint;
Saturn's pastel rings evoke songs of praise.
A pocked-faced moon reflects Sol's golden beams,
smiling at a cloud of bats flying by.
And gravity pulls shooting stars to Earth,
splitting the sky in the blink of an eye.
And chameleon clouds shift from pale grey,
to lavender, at the end of the day.
At night, the sky morphs into
Black velvet: its ebony
Creases glistening with stars.
Darkness engulfs a wobbly
Earth spinning on its axis,
Forever circling the sun:
Gliding silently through space,
Held in place by gravity.
Imagine: an eternal
Journey into the unknown
Kingdoms of both time and space.
Lights appear in the sky like
Magic, when the sun sets, and
Night is put on full display.
Orbiting the Earth, the moon's
Pull sets tides to ebb and flow.
Quasars spin and pulsars pulse,
Revolving at super speeds;
Sending synchronized flashes
Throughout the fabric of space.
Uranus and Mars sink, as
Venus and Neptune ascend.
While Jupiter basks in the
X-rays streaming from the sun.
Yet, seeing a shooting star
Zip through the sky: tops them all.
I am a son of God, that lives in the Assemblies of God
That’s not too far, but very near and clear
I have no fear, no worries, no doubt, it’s clear
He sent His only Son, to bring me near
Which I believe On Christmas Day (in which we celebrate) I receive
That Gift from God, which set me apart
It’s not that odd, and not too far
For you too receive, and to become a son of God
He’s not from Mars, nor Jupiter, gnaw Pluto
Not Venus, gnaw Uranus
He’s brighter than the morning star
As the sun stood still, the moonshine bright
For a full day, it didn’t go down.
Behold; Look! He brings again the shadow of the degrees,
Which is gone, down in the sun dial of Ahaz,
Ten degrees backward, by which degrees it was
Gone down, the voice of him that cries in the wilderness
Prepare the way for the Son of God
Bringing many sons of God, to all who past the test
Given His best, to all who must confess, and come into His rest.
The glory of America,
now heats up
with agitation poised
to strike on the brink
sans legislation incites humiliation,
which goads desecration
as fete accompli chink
in armor of Democratic rubric,
constituting capitalistic
ethic, generic iconoclastic,
and jingoistic logic,
nor budging an inch
when mandating masses
swallow his drink
what huff huck –
this belligerent, dominant and
fervent hellraiser doth
bungle in the jungle
decreeing tacit Marshall law
fast as a shutterfly eyewink
as his cosmic crotch grab
doth put Venus under his sway
with his Mercury hill temperament
pitches the orbit of planet Earth
tubby comb out of balance
infected by hiz anti Jew pitter
damnations, excoriations, fulminations
Huzzah sing how whiz derriere
didst Sat urn simultaneously
crushing crucible as an Uranus
indiscriminately plopping
two hundred fifty pounds of flesh
doubling down humming
his favorite Neptune
that dost affect Pluto hoc crass sea
repeating a self coined motto –
I yam almighty, therefore no fink
simply commandeering the reins of control,
a one man military intelligence groupthink
hut triad and true dyed in the wool
rip pug in ant guise zing rogue
rejoicing tuff fool, governing and hoodwink
king the die hard fans of dictatorial,
linkedin and monarchist ink
cube bus thriving on
wielding indomitable aggression
practiced in the Art of the Deal
incorporating an unanticipated jink
iron fist rule reigning down
vis a vis pro pens heave lee
and prop hen city
flashing hiz seal of approval,
which scribbled signature
doth not smooth arctic monkey
serve hay puzzling kink
boot his frenzy to bulldoze
catastrophic, formulaic, and illogic
spells these United States
of America will become hell
in a handbasket worth repeating
with nary a trace of the grit of link
kin, the sixteenth president,
(whose ruggedly pioneering frontier existence)
found him steady and strong,
plus soft hearted as pelt o’ mink
the epitome of this forty fifth
elected commander in mischief.
We look up at the sky at night
There is so much to see
Planets, stars, and meteors
Then, past vision, what can be
The further back the light comes from
See deeper in the past
Worlds like ours have come and gone
Unlikely that they last
Our Earth is just a blink in time
Say just a speck of dust
Revolving with its molten core
We live here on the crust
The comets cruise our system
Held here by our sun
Some orbits go so far in space
We may not see that one
Our planets may be hot or cold
Gas or solid rock
It makes no difference in the end
As in their orbits lock
Mars there for the God of war
Venus there for love
Mercury for heat and speed
They wander up above
They take a spacing from the sun
Mercury, Venus, Earth
Mars, Jupiter and Saturn
All have different orbit girth
Uranus there, and Neptune
And with far too many jeers
Tiny Pluto scorches round
In just two fifty years
The constellations guide us
As we travel in the night
Guided to our destination
As an early caveman might
The supernova of the stars
When their life is done
Collapsing to a small white dwarf
Or huge red giant one
And so when we are dead and gone
Earth swallowed by the sun
Will those that follow wonder
If they follow anyone