Long Unwelcoming Poems
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Born under the watch of disinterested Gods,
in a wretched house, I survived all the odds.
I overcame hardships, brutal and untold,
outlasting deprivation, outlasting the cold.
Into an unwelcoming world I was thrust,
where ashes become ashes, and dust turns to dust.
But life was for living. I attacked it with zeal,
I embarked on a quest, all pleasures to feel.
I discovered knowledge and a beauty so fair -
she was bright as a candle, and soft as prayer.
In those times of enchantment, in those times of lust,
I never thought I would, one day, turn to dust.
I've crossed many bridges. I've slain a dragon.
But these feats pale to when I hitched my wagon
to the ravishing heart and soul of my life,
the lady who said, "Yes" when I said, "Be my wife".
The best thing I ever did was to gain her trust
and I promised marriage "till I turn to dust".
The years disappeared like leaves falling from trees,
and old age brought this proud man to his knees.
When one's time is up, that's the time one must go,
When the leaves are all gone, and they're buried in snow,
it's the hour to say goodbye as we all must,
and return to the earth as a body to dust.
In this dust, where my corpse is now intermixed,
I have good company about and betwixt.
I'm with kings and queens, and the leaders of men,
with scientists and poets who wrote with their pens,
and as the wind awakens in a great gust,
we rise up together, all of us turned to dust.
Not enough
or
to many drinks
and
to many cigarettes
For so many demons to exorcise
With only 1 set of lungs
And only 1 liver
To leech the poison
from my past
Until i ever so succinctly countless times recite
this prayer of which i dream
Before my eye's close and will is broken
and i eventually pass out
If i die before i wake
I wish the lord my soul to take
But why again would he ?
If he has forsaken such in this life so far ?
Only to awake to dawn approaching
Freshly drenched with rain falling from
a cold and grey unwelcoming sky
Towing today's nightmare right behind it
express delivery
For i to think when the clouds and
mist lift and clarity fleeting returns for
a matter of seconds
I did this to me no 1 else but on which
myself to place blame
This is 1 of life's travestys not a shame
Surely there is a family or some poor
soul out there far more deserving or
would put to use the internal organs
i am killing slowly to hide my pain
But hey that's life i suppose ?
We only value it when it's confirmed our
time itself is running out
Then i suppose we all inauspiciously
start to care and profess we will miss everything
So i suppose at the end of the day regarding said death
the only question left worthy of asking is this ?
Where i go to when i did do they have or must
i bring my own Booze & Cigarettes ????
4/24/24
I've played plenty
On my conscious life weighed heavy
I have to stay ready
Then aim steady
Obstacles I will face many
Can't give ground or let them take any
These snakes pesky
Often they petty
Life can get way deadly
One big crazy medley
That sometimes became sketchy
After turning strange and messy
When it all begun
At first it seemed fun
But now I constantly need one
Its like a giant re run
As if it all means none
I just want the deed done
Too much green buds
Turning to weak lungs
Coursing through my veins is beast blood
Surging like an extreme flood
Causing me to eat bugs
Then overdose on these drugs
Because I just need love
I don't care what she does
Still secrets swept under antique rugs
Continual self centered greed
Across the seven seas
It never seems
I have more than I could ever need
I just cant let it be
Even for better means
Militia troops
Involved with religious groups
That have ties to wicked roots
Still tricking youths
How can I believe we all pay the cost for a man picking fruit
Hard to say if they're giving the truth
When there's no living proof
Just some mark or trinket found by a shipping route
It was settling
But people couldn't stop meddling
Now too late for regretting things
The same can be said for back peddling
It's continued developing
I do not look forward to the hell it brings
The ground trembling
Buildings leveling
The noise is deafening
It's as they've described a reckoning
Might as well be my death sentencing
This is menacing
All this wrestling
With what I continue questioning
Life doesn't get easier, I forgot mentioning
Sick of the concept of time, quit threatening
Like my life is on a clock, it's unwelcoming
Why do lives get regarded as second string
Y'all should be ashamed for tarring and feathering
Still you give yourself too much crediting
Quit all your beckoning
You're really just heckling
Slowly disassembling
Yet still a nestling
Playing on uneven ground, hardly ever leveling
Eventually will or won't make sense of things
I want to whisper to you...
at this very moment,
Darling ...no mighty ocean in the world,
no scary desert, no unwelcoming forest
can keep us apart,
Because I have found you at last.
The rustling fluttering leaves right in front of me,
the demure white jasmine in the corner,
the swaying fragrant petals in exuberance of their happiness,
can’t hold their joy, but want to share,
same as me - because I know, you and I have nothing to fear ....
I have found you at last.
FIRST PLACE
All Yours (May 27) Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Brian Strand
My fiancés' stone, ten years- she lost her life
Wish that she can hear me, yet well I know
And yet, in time, she would have been my wife
I grant I couldn't bear to watch her go
Do I think I shall e'er forget her scent
The vastness of my love, has yet, fused thine
And still, the ring I bought her, was ne'er meant
For this, a life of sadness, belongs- to mine
Served thy soul, unwelcoming-sordid boon
Rose odors- from her perfume bottle, still
Keeping my memories of her in tune
Glimpses of her smiles flash, ere- she fell ill
Kept inside my armoires' safe, ten long years
Her perfume bottle, overflows- with tears
She screams -
'Can't you see what your ignorance has done to me'
Or -
Do you just believe,
I - am not worthy
You see, that I'm black,
But you can't see I'm having a panic attack
Maybe your hate is shouting -
'She is on crack'
That has to to be it, right?
You see black, so you panic
You say - 'She is dramatic'
They tell her - ' you're being erratic'
She begs, she pleads
'What will it take for you - to hear - me'
Does she have to bleach her skin
For you - to see the problem
Or is your heart so rotted
Or have you forgotten?
Prejudice wasn't apart of the job offer
That being a doctor -
Meant you help everybody
She's bleeding everywhere
Her skin, her hair
Maybe is she's coated in blood,
You'll finally care
Or does the black overshadow the red
So you have it in your head
That means she deserves to be dead?
She asked for help, but instead
She was told it was all in her head
It took her years to make noise
Agonising over the same question -
To speak or not to speak
Her decision - she needed intervention
Harsh and unwelcoming,
The hospital was,
A hostile environment
Still, she kept her head down and remained silent
Though she was quiet, the mere act of her presence, they saw as violent
Their minds already made up
Her screams would echo in the silence
A reminder -
That if you are black you should keep quiet
Her own safety a risk,
A place built to assist, became a death sentence
She walked in full of hope
And exited deceased
A young black girl, in her twenties
Now a ghost, haunted by her own screams
She asked for peace
But became one of many disposable black bodies
When a black girl seeks medical assistance
She becomes another unsuspecting victim
To a system,
A weapon forged against her
From the moment she entered,
Her fate was sealed -
From the very beginning
It was a competition between her sickness and the living
In the end it was the doctors who ended up winning
Long doors of dark have closed upon the day
And though the wind will batter till the knuckles bleed
It cannot presume to summon morning dawn
Or lift relentless bars, to welcome sun
The light is pillowed deep in slumber’s grip
Do not disturb is hung upon the knob
Unwelcoming, while daybreak still is sleeping
And earth takes respite from the busy day
And dreaming stars are breathing silent sighs
Whisper softly, tiptoe gently
Take care, thus not break the spell
You cannot speed, the night must sleep
The clock ticks on, and patience is the friend
Withhold the futile beating hand
Grow wise in silence and keep the peace
So when the dawn comes by to let you in
Much brighter still, it comes to greet
A welcome mat beneath your feet
Unlocked and free to enter as you please
Companioned by a warm serenity
A small path I see,
Inviting me with silent plea.
Yet unwelcoming are its looks,
Like the warnings in forgotten books.
The eerie silence that I feel,
Though surrounded by vibrant green,
Makes me wonder what is real,
And what this place might truly mean.
What could I do?
For it makes me shoo.
Yet despite its unpleasantness,
I find myself walking.
Wondering what I was thinking,
Yes—walking into it.
Moving forward are my feet,
Though I have no control of it.
Though my mind rejects,
My body projects
A will that is not my own,
Leading me deeper, alone.
All I could do was hope,
For I could find no rope
To hold onto,
No sign of my presence,
No reminder of my essence.
Every step I take I know I will regret
Thump
Thump
Thump
Each step is a step closer to the place I hate most
But can I really say that when it’s the only place I feel safe?
It’s my own mini-home, so why must I insatiably and greedily want something better?
It’s not like it’s ugly or small, smelly or uncomfortable, so why must I hate it the most?
Each step I take is a step away from what I long to have
Will they love me one day?
Will they ever want me?
Will they grow tired of trying?
I don’t mean to, but it’s only second nature
I leave like the selfish child they see me to be
Have I ever been a good child?
Have I ever given them something to love?
Have I ever given them a sense of completion?
This is what separates me and them
Every step
Every time I go forward, I lose something dear
Every time I go back, I lose something dear
Insaitable, am I?
Greedy, am I?
Their dark, unwelcoming, a path to doom but for some reason I still march forth
Thump
Thump
Thump
I’ll never say it out loud
I’ll never tell them
They miss me, I know they do
They tell me
They give me that gaze
Their eyes tell me all I need to know
It’s too late
It's not my fault
I'm just trying to breathe
Devil's in the air
corvid doesn't care
is it China's fault
A Political joust
I must have
And does it comes to the elderly first
It is it biological
Is it's logical
We know of economical
stay away from me
at least six feet please
for the breath that was given me
God has given me
you have no right to restrict me
How can I love you
If I can't touch you
6 feet away
You must stay
Cover your face your nose your mouth
No more hugs, handshakes, or celebrated Michelle Obama fist-bumps
Corvid you restrict my breath
Embrace my Essence
stay away from me 6 ft please
I must contest this is my breath
This is all I have left
Right foot steps
My God I pray today
Save us all from my very essence is my breath
So be it
I'm unwelcoming...
at 6 foot distancing
This Torrid
NEW WORLD CORVID
5/17/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2020