Long Stiff as a board Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Poems about Poems (I)



What the Poet Sees
by Michael R. Burch

What the poet sees,
he sees as a swimmer
~~~underwater~~~
watching the shoreline blur
sees through his breath’s weightless bubbles...
Both worlds grow obscure.



Muse/Goddess
by Michael R. Burch

“What will you conceive in...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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The Making of a Poet
by Michael R. Burch

While I don’t consider “Poetry” to be my best poem—I wrote the first version in my teens—it’s a poem that holds special meaning for me; I call it...

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The State of the Art (I)
by Michael R. Burch

Has rhyme lost all its reason
and rhythm, renascence?
Are sonnets out of season
and poems but poor pretense?

Are poets lacking fire,
their words too trite and forced?
What happened to desire?
Has...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Poems about Poets I


The Wonder Boys
by Michael R. Burch

for Leslie Mellichamp

The stars were always there, too-bright cliches:
scintillant truths the jaded world outgrew
as baffled poets winged keyed kites—amazed,
in dream of shocks that suddenly came true ...

but...

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Light verse and nonsense verse

Mini-Ode to Stamina
by Michael R. Burch 
 
When you’ve given so much
that I can’t bear your touch,
then from a safe distance
let me admire your persistence.



The Trouble with Elephants
by Michael R. Burch...

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Epigrams VI

These are humorous epigrams including a form I call "Less Heroic Couplets." 



Less Heroic Couplets: Mini-Ode to Stamina
by Michael R. Burch
 
When you’ve given so much
that I can’t bear your touch,
then from a safe...

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PROFESSOR POETS

These are poems about professor poets and other “intellectuals” who miss the main point of poetry, which is to connect with readers via pleasing sounds and the communication of emotion as well as meaning.



Professor...

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A preconception in my mind
Of a nudist beach in the sun
Men of pervy persuasion 
Roam the sands 
Eyes behind dark glasses
Men with their dangly bits 
A display of exhibitionism?
A desire to be seen?
A legalised flasher...

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Oh dear Muse, help me write this verse for thee
Give me the strength to write, and fulfill my destiny.

The lines and rimes that below will be read,
Come from the mind of a disturbed head.
A poet...

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2022 Polar Vortex - Across Wide Band Of North America

Power outage here within 
mine happy hunting grounds 
(as well the ghosts of Lenni Lenape),
viz Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
December twenty third 
two thousand twenty two wrought
(lasting greater...

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It's six months since I was told
That Parkinson's was my ill
It's taken over all I have
It's made me very ill

It's taking its time to get use to
And sort out all the pills 
As they make...

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All those shells you hide behind
Keep you in the empty womb
An egg with no arms to hug
No fingers to use the spoon
No soap to wash the sin away

Without them you lose yourself
More importantly, you lose...

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Caveat
by Michael R. Burch

If only we were not so eloquent,
we might sing, and only sing, not to impress,
but only to enjoy, to be enjoyed.

We might inundate the earth with thankfulness
for light, although it dies, and...

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Make sure you enunciate it loud
      and all five girls in accord…
Then repeat three times,
             “light as a...

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Hoosier winters were mighty frigid on the farm when I was a lad.
Ma insisted no matter what I did, I was to be warmly clad!
With toboggan cap, mackinaw, mittens and lace-up leather boots,
And of course...

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Visceral incantation from onyx velvet lips,
moan, groan, to twist my bits as a witch.
Salem pyre ancient oak standing the edifice,
wrist shackled chains gather round vile cultist.
Breast bang dolorous dirge ignition of limbs,
Rictus permeated rancor give...

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Assuming… cold…
An abyss of extricated lies
Squeezing out like bile from your brain
I can’t breathe when the voice of yours
Is so edgy…so rock hard
As if my life is but a layer over you
That you can break...

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If John hadn't died because of drugs, he would've turned forty-nine today.
If John hadn't died, his fiftieth birthday would've been just one year away.
The paramedics had planned to perform CPR but they saw it was...

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My eyes get heavy,
  I fall asleep,
  And when they open,
  I hear not one peep.

  I look around,
  I'm not at home,
  I see hundreds of fairies,
 ...

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He stared me frozen;
stiff as a board.
A long hard stare; 
a gawk, as frigid as hoarfrost.
A cold stare, as cruel as words.

Eyes know my father’s smile, 
as broad as imagination.
That stare, that I alone know,...

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A rising on Valentines
Resur – e – rection

Four AM Valentines morn, I awoke,
stiff as a board – stands a mighty oak,

reaching up to heavenly skies – empty –
whishing upon a star that would not be

a...

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Lecherous Luther was wont to grope
He ceased to function at the end of a rope!

Here lies Cletus as stiff as a board
He slipped on the ice and busted his gourd!

Here rests our dear Ruby who...

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