Union Suits

Hoosier winters were mighty frigid on the farm when I was a lad. Ma insisted no matter what I did, I was to be warmly clad! With toboggan cap, mackinaw, mittens and lace-up leather boots, And of course beneath it all, one of those scratchy union suits! They've been around nigh on a hundred-fifty years, I'm told, Worn by men, women and kids to protect 'em from the cold. With a handy flap, dozens of buttons, in colors of red or white; They don't enhance the physique -in fact they look a fright! The buttoned flap is a practical and convenient innovation, Especially when in a hurry and in moments of desperation! I've even heard of fellers dwellin' in 'em all the winter long. By springtime the fragrance must've been most powerfully strong! On clothes lines on cold and wintry days hung a frightful horde, Of frozen union suits dancin' on the lines as stiff as a board! In a pile nigh the parlor stove they would be casually tossed, To shed their clingin' coats of rime and gradually defrost! Ain't nothin' that'll keep you warmer on a cold wintry morn, For sloppin' hogs, milkin' cows and shuckin' fields of corn, Curryin' horses, milkin' goats or any other agrarian pursuit, Like a scratchy, itchy, long-legged, venerable union suit! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)