Long Smarmy Poems

In the beginning after God had finished creating this land.    
Satan boldly challenged the heavens for the absolute control of man.
Gods’ architectural blueprint stretched for ages across the sky 
He watered the...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
“When again, gentle bride?”
“Nevermore!” bright-eyed Raven replied.



The...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Double Limerick: The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are...

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From 2010. Narrator is Robert Gibbs, snooty White House Press Secretary.

Lay, O Lord, a curse on press men, rude and churlish, sad, obsessed men 
Who persist to query me on matters they know I must...

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"The Mallard" and other Animal Limericks

The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his bawdy, boisterous mistress;
my pond's their loud bordello!



On the Horns of a Dilemma...

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My Fellow Soupers, 
   
    I rarely get mad anymore, but today I am madder than an adder. Not long ago, an unemployed security guard in Florida accepted an $11/hour...

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Lifeblood of democracy hemorrhaging
ousting the "FAKE" president only recourse
to staunch impending grim demise,
since forefathers drafted
United States Constitution
ratified more'n two centuries ago

hoi polloi must take to the streets
denouncing severe curtailment
impinging sacred freedom of speech
linkedin with paramount...

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the coffee that Lenin drank as he plotted revolution, the coffee that Hitler and Stalin drank with FDR as they divided up the world after World War 11, the cup that JFK drank before he...

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‘Tiny’ Bawb Always Wins His Fights -

   (in “Phonetically-Edited" Rhyme - for my Brit and Ausie Mites) 
 


Just before the Ausie, ‘Tiny’ Bawb, commenced to swingin’...tryin’ to knock the hooter off o’...

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----paranoid, pornographic, psychotic, pontific, politically aware, rapping, rhyming, right here, right now in River city, rock and roll up the Yazoo, sad, sadistic, sarcastic, sassy, satanic, schizoid, shitting, silly, sexy, smarmy, smelly, smooth, snarky, snarling,...

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Try a brisk walk at night, 
Igniting fire through ice, 
It might burn, bite or beat you, 
But you'll swear it feels nice.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -...

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The Showing of The Ankle

Now dashing Sir Giles was a smarmy old geezer
Bold with the women, he knew how to please ‘em
Money no probs and endowed with good looks
It was easy to get into ladies...

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Three old friends, for the first time in years,
were enjoying a meal, discussing with zeal,
the present, not delving into past faults and fears
They had all found success, joy, and peace.

Then a blast from the past,...

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Two black soul brothers
Standing on the corner
In front of Metro center
On a Friday night

In the heart of the new evil empire
The center of the beast
Hell Central

Preaching the word of god
The news of the end of...

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The Wrath of Reason
(For Rush Limpballs and his Smarmy Ilk)

Sycophants spewing forth the Milk of Malice
   Drown the Warmth of Reason in icy ivory towers—
Pandering bigotry and denial unique to no nation—
 ...

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“Eaten Alive”
At first it felt like
A brush of air past my face
A tear drop, the touch of lace
I walked my way to class
Vision low staring at a little coed’s ass
Then the push came
Nearly hobbling myself...

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Another sex scandal hits the party of family values

Another fall from imperial grace
Another pastor 
Caught in a red hot sex scandal

He claims that his wife 
Had an affair with a pool boy
Who tried to black...

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Outside the sanctum, clenched teeth, tension, 
    a sense of being spun slowly, in comical ocean drift
    Bobbed cork barely able to rein my orientation. 

   ...

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Possessing pure skepticism
allows me
to carry an air of longevity

Having to breathe in
false utterances,
the words of mendacious men
I could never trust

If you be at the opposite end
on the thought spectrum
of visible dust

Then persuade yourself
if you must

That...

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You’re so bourgeois,
it ain’t materialistically funny
You’re so smug, lady LaDeda — 
you’re a maven for making money
Always turning your nose up,
and looking down 
at poor, working class people
Thinking you’re better than most everyone else 
because...

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I like to start my day with a hot cup of coffee
I pound down the coffee
First thing I do every day
as the dawning sun
Lights up my lonesome room

Yeah, but not just a simple cup of...

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My muse did her fealty recuse
My honor she did stealthily reconnoiter
My discourse was grounds for divorce
Finding my writing no longer enlightening
My blithe parlance no longer my mistress did entrance
With my prose she did forthrightly dispose
Each...

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Sanity

At a interview with a well-known Greenwich based hedge fund, 
my corporate destiny hinged on the man across the desk from me.
From pierced ears protruded tufts of wiry hair stained by yellow wax.
He seemed civil...

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I woke up feeling great today,
alive with joy and energy
Then at the park, to my dismay,
an old She-Devil I did see!

She’s back in town. I’ve got the blues!
Again, I’ll see her smarmy smile.
“It’s great to...

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What's the point in voting
it really dosn't count, 
I thought the highest scorer
knocked the others out.
But no,no, no............
I hear you shout
We are the people
we do not count.
Polititians rule the country
that is really true
They really do...

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