Quick Tips

Try a brisk walk at night, Igniting fire through ice, It might burn, bite or beat you, But you'll swear it feels nice. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Stare back at a stranger, If their look starts to burn, You'll notice their angst, Once they know it's your turn. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Don't reach to extinguish, Your ignited tobacco, Across dinners or drinks, As ashes fall in de facto. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Two drunks at a bar, If smarmy, cheap males, Will cease to exist, By all mammals or females. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you guzzle or sip, It goes down just the same, And the only true difference: The length of your game. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Don't drink and drive, You can't go very far, Because the door you can't open, Psst, isn't your car. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Have sex with a friend, Maybe two, three or four, If you don't, someone might, And next time, they'll ignore. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ask Marco, wine guru, If it tastes good or bad, The next you select, You'll ferment, just a tad. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you smoke on the job, Remember to render, The air, clean and free, Before returning to sender. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When two lesbians chat, They display their demeanor, Without reference or rapture, For your decadent wiener. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Pouring more than you drink, Is considered a virtue, Because reversing osmosis, Can only just hurt you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you're gay and you know it, Show those not, some respect, Keep it reverent and subtle, Spare us all when erect. (12/30/01)