Long Skivvies Poems

Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick...

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PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
don't need to see your Fruit or your Looms
don't wanna see your buttocks in those..
Vincent Motega's don't wanna see your...

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(alternately titled no particular reason:
bring unto “fake” trumpeting Caesar
seven salad dressings from deep freezer
and lettuce deign at your plea azure.)

Graced with boyish good looks,
innocence and naiveté to boot,
an especial loathing toward me
chicken legs re: spindleshanks

(which...

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Ah, the life surreal.  Nothing like wearing the weirdness like a greatcoat as I sip bad hotel coffee and muse over where the last few years have taken me while watching ice flow around old...

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The day would pass in blissful brightness, with our brains on auto-pilot. The stories we'd tell and the memories we'd conjure up from years past, one couldn't help but think we were all running on...

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after having cut off
everyone s/he loved or
having them made that decision
for him/her,
s/he was alone in 
training for months,
with a minimal diet
reducing
reducing
reducing,
with the workouts from twice a
day to a full time, 24/7,
mental & physical
pure dedication,
where all...

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Holly Day Cheer, Oy Vey

Lemme breathe smoke free air, okay
devoid of exhaust from swarm
(bajillion) enroute without delay
Santas Clauses gas guzzling 
hybridized motorized sleigh,
coordinating global deliveries, 

via GPS devices with weather proof inlay, 
nor without the...

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An old scholar called Mi Balls Hung Lo
Wished he could put his gonads on show
His poor wife got quite mad
But his daughter said “Dad…
just remember to add a big bow”

By Jan Allison 

Now Hung Lo...

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have you heard the *****festering
about the robot prostitutes in the making?
heard the christians & republicans
whining their way into a “debate”
about the moral concerns that might come about
as a result of having a robot do
what an...

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Hare Krishna's
In their Pickups
Depressed Comics
Down on their Luck
Teenage Girls
Screaming Meme's
Commie Pinko's
Leftward Leaning
Vincent Price
Flo and Eddie
Rodger Rabbit
Priscilla Presley
Nuns in Habits
Dwarf's in Ponchos
Deadbeat Dads
Munching Nachos
Right-Wing Nut Jobs
Trading Slogans
A few Hero's
Including Hogan

Are just a few of the sights...

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as the summer begins to show itself
through the impending warmth & sun of the
spring, 
the cold, wintry skies dissipate (clouds breaking apart,
snow changing back to cold downpour & the wind no longer
blistering, but instead bringing...

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It had been a bad month; Jim was exhausted from death.
He drove to their favorite lake and took off his clothes.
Wandered into the cold water in his skivvies, hoping for life.
His mouth made a loud...

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My day is finally complete
I can now rest my head
Next to my wife
There, sleeping in bed
The doors are all locked
I have turned off the lights
I’ve checked all the kids
And I’ve kissed them goodnight
The windows are...

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It had been a bad month; Jim was exhausted from death.
He drove to their favorite lake and took off his clothes.
Wandered into the cold water in his skivvies, hoping for life.
His mouth made a loud...

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Poetry is a Risky Business

The Recipe for Poetry

Open stereo
Turn volume medium high
Poor 3 shots of whiskey
Add 2 bottles of wine
Open 1 bag of chips
Add one box of Oreos
Listen to Alice Cooper
Then Abba
Then Dance of the...

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Why Can’t She Get Pregnant

You’d like to have babies
But no babies you got
Your problem? Your undies
What’s under them’s hot
Your poor little swimmers
They’re kaput – they’re shot
What your mother won’t tell you
Your Uncle just might
When your...

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Frayed and puckered in a heap
Skivvies on top, worn socks beneath
Lace collar curled up in disgust
Offensive smells to upper crust

Deep baskets poured out jumbled loads
Soap bubbles flip flopped to and fro
Pearl buttons twirled as I...

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the rain spilled its barrels on my way to work
hit a pot hole and the tire split
the spare like a donut was cream filled
a passing motorist splashed me with a puddle
my nice matching suit was...

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Are we ever alone, dear brother, 
when our black and white hands say
Treasure and Lack?
Are we ever alone dear sister, 
when friends stalk roundabout
skivvies and shorts?
Are we ever alone dear mother, 
when your discipline hardens...

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Here I sit
In my basement
In my skivvies
Late at night
Ignoring all my
Family duties
Contemplating
What next to write
All I am now
Is skin and bones
No time lately
For a bite
Can't think of when 
I last shaved or bathed
Perhaps 2009?
Poetry
While fun...

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Underwear used to be a fig leaf
Then somebody invented the brief
I think it’s absurd
To name it that word
I mean, what’s briefer than a leaf?

Was it named by a white collar thief?
Like a lawyer who longed...

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