Deciding To Live

It had been a bad month; Jim was exhausted from death. He drove to their favorite lake and took off his clothes. Wandered into the cold water in his skivvies, hoping for life. His mouth made a loud gasp as the icy water hit his lower back. It was twilight, the woods around the lake were ominous. He felt the trees looking at him, waiting in anticipation. Maybe they thought he would kill himself. Was he that desperate? He had not felt anything but grief since his wife died. The icy lake was changing him from grief stricken widower to survivor. He began to shiver and shake; his teeth were chattering. You are alive! An inner voice said, in a celebratory way. Jim knew that he had needed this. He heard a tiny giggle. His head snapped to his right. It was his wife’s voice. But she was dead, wasn’t she? He expected to see her. There were no other words. He dove under the water. Expected to see her as a mermaid, but she was not flesh. She might never be flesh again. But then again, she might be. His mother believed in reincarnation, and there was a baby coming. He drove to his daughter’s house to have a cup of coffee. Deciding to live.