Long Scrooge Poems

Many British thermal units* later

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer, 
(a married heterosexual doofus, – 
whose alter egos 
named and highlighted courtesy 
Gallant and Goofus) attones
to heat these lovely bag of bones
amazingly graceful human...

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THE PERSPECTIVE OF ALABASTER SCROOGE

In modern English people time, when the world was full of eminent joy, there lived a man of prestige who was totally the opposite of anyone who strives to form the...

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Yours truly embarks on wild goose chase after elusive pot of gold

alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon...

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For years, Tim had the visions
Seeing things that no one could
If he spoke of them, he's crazy
He kept quiet, like he should
Just normal, little, visions
Of people who were dead 
Just wandering in places
He knew weren't...

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Deva Ossig, the landlady (and property owner) turned rogue

Just a couple weeks shy 
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue, 
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile...

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This was only our second date...

A Black Tie Affair...

...Set against an incredible view,
vineyards, waterfalls,
a plentitude of flower beds,
all just outside a charming postcard Town.

This indeed was a serious event,
anyone  who was anyone...
and my date...were here.

A...

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I need a little change of pace
take a flight to outer space
make an attempt to paint a face
upon a planet without moons
make an attempt to just spin across the rings of Saturn
I just need a...

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The figurative nail hit on the hirsute covered head!

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy 
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer 
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the...

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Dickens Christmas carol revisited by nicked saint

Frigidaire - from upper atmosphere 
hammering and whipsawing debris 
ferociously with an angry flare,
cuz mother nature - fed up to here
(re: envision me hands indicating 
over top of head)...

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There was once a young woman named Dawn.
She could be compared to Scrooge and the Grinch. Why? You might be wondering.
Because she hated and loathed everything that Christmas stood for.
She had nothing to be happy,...

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All her belongings fitted into a suitcase and a small carry-on bag.

After 18 years, my helper was going home for good.

During those years, not a dime ever went missing in the various apartments we’ve called...

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A languorous morning 

Nestled in between warm duvets, a goose feathered pillow or two…a luxury 
A striped kitten, a beautiful shade of grey, on a windowsill grey too; purring, gentle breaths, authenticity so appealing
A glass...

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The man I’m going to introduce was not a scrooge at all
He was kind and decent, mostly good, as I recall
Generous to his family, upright with fellow men
But all that incarnation stuff he just could...

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I understand now! I hate that I 
went back to my childhood and 
birthplace!
It was a mistake! They made 
me ,a success, look like a total 
disgrace.
Monroe, I have developed a 
new hate for you...

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Metaphorical troubled waters deluge
pitched me to and fro,
analogous to ghosts
that haunted Ebenezer Scrooge,
yours truly violently tossed
impossible mission to experience refuge

except when deeply engrossed
between bound pages
thick and juicy tome one garden variety
generic bookworm doth ravish
escape courtesy...

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You’ve met me,
but you just don’t know it yet
The dream house that you want,
I once polar bear hibernated there ...
two winter moons ago

The summer fruit of relaxation
that you’re tasting now,
I planted it 
two prior vineyard...

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Far as the (ease) 
severely myopic eyes can see,
nothing but polluted atmosphere
where skull and crossbones
memento mori betokens beware,

especially with increasing chronology
mortality becomes crystal clear
existential crisis yours truly didst despair
not so much death itself, but failure
(inadequacy)...

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Nutty grandpa president
is talking crazy uncle Donald again
His little Chucky thumbs
is tapping epithet tweet nonsense
Batty grandpa’s been 
grumpily sucking 
on the hate hot sauce bottle
stashed in his KKK closet
Now he’s sporting a Commander-in-Chief cap,
dressed in...

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I'm heading home after five
humming to myself quietly;
I've missed the December' sunset by an hour,
Christmas lights sparkle, folks greet each other:
hear the joy in their voices!
Jesus will end their worries:
they will thrive, not strive!

Naughty boys...

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Many British Thermal Units needed...

To heat these lovely bag of bones
more so than required to generate clones
aging musculoskeletal physique groans
kvetching synonymous nsync with exactly
indistinguishable among where generic
garden variety alter kocker and/or like
mummified Pharaoh moans.

Hence, I...

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Old Jack hated Halloween night.
The constant ringing of his doorbell
he didn't like. So he turned off his
household lights.
   His wife said, "Why did you go and 
do that, Jack?" he replied "They
won't see...

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I can't sleep, my body gives me its usual wake-up call;
it's certainly the burden of the Christmas' season,
stretching my resources to implement its reason;
and this budget crisis won't keep me from spending it all...
some folks...

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I remember the night of our anniversary so vividly.
Cyril, who locals call 'Cyril the Squirrel' because he's such a miser, 
had just taken a seat at the next table with his date Muriel, the local...

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back a small number of years thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma, enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing, and lambasting said dell lisle
la,...

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Oh the Ghosts, Oh the Ghosts!!!
The Ghosts of Christmas shall haunt the wicked
They shall haunt the bitter and sorrowful decrepit creatures
Your hunched back and wallet will be no shield
For the three ghosts of the Christmas...

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