First Date
I remember the night of our anniversary so vividly.
Cyril, who locals call 'Cyril the Squirrel' because he's such a miser,
had just taken a seat at the next table with his date Muriel, the local gossip.
Muriel was clutching a wilted red rose that Cyril must have given her
I could clearly see a half price sticker on the wrapper
He really is so darn cheap!
Cyril sat drumming his fingers on the table whilst Muriel perused the menu.
"Hurry up and order, Muriel.
It's buy one, get one free if we order in the next five minutes," he barked!
The waitress arrived to take their order.
She didn't have a chance to say a word before Cyril declared,
“You certainly took your time.
Muriel tell the girl what you want and make it snappy or I’ll miss out on the special offer.”
Muriel ordered tomato soup followed by roast chicken.
“I’ll have the same," said Cyril.
“It will save on the cost if we both have identical meals.”
I was feeling sorry for Muriel when the soup arrived and I could hear Cyril twittering on.
“Hurry up and eat your soup, Muriel .
We can go dancing at the Palais ….
It’s free if we get in before seven o’clock.”
“OH I LOVE DANCING!
BUT NOT WITH A PENNY PINCHING SCROOGE LIKE YOU!" she screamed in annoyance.
The restaurant fell silent; all eyes turned to their table.
Muriel stood, tipped the bowl of soup in his lap,
and whacked him across the face with the limp rose.
"First and last date, Cyril, …
and it didn’t cost you a cent, after all MY meal was free!"
She turned on her heels and stormed out of the restaurant.
Cyril’s face went puce as he looked like he was going to explode.
I'm sure Muriel would head straight for the bingo hall to tell everyone about her first date with "the squirrel."
And by tomorrow, her disastrous date would be the talk of the town.
"Happy Anniversary, Honey,"
my husband whispered to me.
He looked at his watch and exclaimed, "Oh dear!
“We were so busy watching the floor show that we’ve missed the special offer!"
08-16-17
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