Long Schnorrer Poems

1.
This hunger artist cannot read 
volumes of printed material fast enough 
to satiate an immense appetite 
and unquenchable thirst 
to acquire learning from 
the millenniums gushing fount of 
cumulative chance revelations, 
(or deliberate intent to...

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I wanna trade in my stubby spindleshanks...,

(a poor excuse for legs),
and get me the latest
sophisticated prosthetics advancements,
whereat integration of cultured stem cells
into custom made appendages
allows, enables, and provides
unfortunate recipients of amputations
to experience sensations.

No more will...

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Lulled to sleep courtesy white noise of the fan

Onset of first 2023 heatwave
found yours truly lulled to sleep
courtesy rattle and hum
(U2 can dreamily tread 
where the streets have no name) 
of oscillating fan.

Nestled under blankets,
the...

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Alms Za Try'n To Reach Out As Legatee Wannabe

Yukon pots sib bully challah me Jude
dish hiss literary panhandler schlepping
along virtual figurative boulevard Asia
brogue kin bloke rattling tin cup aware
how quickly passersby dodge away as
if I...

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Sassy sobriquets schooled sissy spindleshanks...
studious sexagenarian skinny scruffy scribe

My utmost humblest apology
for inducing the following
cerebral calisthenics upon your cranium,
but the cost of friendship
with yours truly 
(me – a foo fighting,
eagle eyed, beatle browed, beastie boy...

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Adventitious existence birthed introverted spiritual outlier i.e. me

Speculative fictitious flirtation imagined
courtesy grown old male offspring (me)
begat when mine late mother and father met
former named, a popular Arthur Murray
ballroom dance studio instructor.

Subtle social cues (nonverbal or...

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If you ever espy a latitudinally
and longitudinally challenged
older yet shopping savvy woman,
(wedded to yours truly
for almost twenty six years),
who stands approximately
four feet and ten inches
a strong hunch that gal
stacks up as mine missus,
she dons costumed...

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Reprobate fictional schnorrer...

Who never did a lick of work 
gifted lifelong entitlement,
yet possessed webbed wide world reputation
actually humble contemplative earthling
jump/kick started cosmic consciousness
as modest (née supreme)
unrivaled spiritual leader
with natural born talent
to resolve conflicts
without uttering a...

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Sassy sobriquets schooled sissy spindleshanks...
studious skinny scruffy scribe

Scathing, scolding, screaming,
scorning, searing, sing,
sociopathic sarin soaked skewed
squirt, sputtering, squawking, sleepily
staggering, stabbing, swaggering
sweltering sadistic, sarcastic,

savage, systemically systematically
stigmatized, supersized saber sharp
schick shaving, shunned, sabotaged,
scarred, scorched, smote, sanguine,
stippled, speckled schizophrenic
sensibility,...

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Who knew shredded paper...
alias confetti could be so much fun?

The misses took play therapy (hive
urgently got to tell thee)
to whole nother level,
she smartly, expertly,
deftly... didst contrive
at my expense - (to late),

when paramedics did arrive
abusive deadly...

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Pennilessness shadows black
unemployment endless track
rails tie-er less lee when dumbly staring
overdrawn account issues 
   another clattering smack.

Income pleat undergraduate degree
contributed to the role of a sporadic employee
time to acquire handy dandy blues clues...

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I imagine little house on the prairie
(bordering Lake Woebegone),
a place to hang cloak
most bucolic, edenic, idyllic...
apropos place for this poetic cowpoke,

who at present day trumpets
himself as token panhandler
of Perkiomen Valley, a
genteel, gentile, and gentle
Semite with...

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No matter yours truly
(potential rising star -
analogous to ascending yeast)
bred for easy street
life of po' witless
mendicant nimbly,

pointlessly, and rhythmically
shuffles (think tramp)
along his poetic little feet
garden variety beastie boy
aimlessly, fortuitously, halfheartedly,
and mindlessly follows

one after another backstreet
revisiting,...

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A Life Bereft Of Healthy Risk = >
Absolute Zero Value

Spectator role questioned,
(sans existence, no more
relegated to sidelines), else
yours truly cannot endure
foregoing one after another

golden opportunity to restore
adrenaline rush say jumping
without parachute, (egg nor
ring danger), yea...

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I climb in Suzanne,
She ain't no hippy van,
She's rusty and forgotten
Her soul is slightly rotten
But I believe she's grand.

I turn the key and roar her 
Then I beg her like a schnorrer
Won't you let me...

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At a U.F.T.* event,
The sign was printed large,
Obviously placed there by
The person left in charge.

What it said was no surprise
For schnorrers** often show,
But “Please take only one!” I thought
Was not the way to go.

It referred...

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