Long Rottweiler Poems
Long Rottweiler Poems. Below are the most popular long Rottweiler by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Rottweiler poems by poem length and keyword.
Bitter words spew out of your well-polished poison pen
Insult me, go on belittle me with your vile vitriolic venom
Think you are better than me – hell no way!
Every word that spills from your pathetic pen sucks
My one poem to your river of rancid rubbish
Each to their own, but I will NEVER change my style
Bite me, go on bite me - like a sweet juicy apple
I can bite back like a Rottweiler – taunt me enough and I will snap
Tart sour words full of malice I CAN pen perfectly
Except I keep my opinion and hostile words in my head
Me, I don’t pretend to be anything I am not
Every word you pen is pure malignant malice
A fiction write purely for contest.... or is it! You decide!
05~31~15
Contest: Bite Me – John Lawless
[Postscript: Ah, the vagaries of English. In England, your bum is your bottom... not the scruffy bloke who lives in your shed!]
I got up and Daddy said Good morning Sonny
Sit down for breakfast, we’ve got bread and honey
I asked him where honey comes from ’cause it’s yum
He told me it comes from a bumble bee’s bum
So I asked my teacher, she told me it’s true
It is pretty much like what your dad said to you
What bees eat at one end they quickly discover
That sweet tasting honey comes out of the other
Next morning to prove I’m a grown up lad
I got up first to make breakfast for Dad
I made bread and honey the best I was able
And then Dad came down and he sat at the table
He took a big bite and his jaw dropped a little
Then he coughed it all out with a shower of spittle
It’s okay I said if it tastes a bit funny
I thought for a change we’d have Rottweiler honey
[Footnote: In case I’ve just put everyone off their honey, I consider it my civic duty to point out that honey ISN’T bee poop........ It’s bee vomit. Enjoy your breakfast!]
5/16/22
Here let me paint you a drawing
My skin crawling
Something stirring and calling
As the leaves begin falling
It's appalling
That people are always squabbling
And gossiping
Yet another mauling
It's no longer enthralling
The temperature of the water freezing or scalding
People aging, greying and balding
This process has no halting
Most spills their guts like a geyser
Life's a , but I like her
With every fiber
Many think they're the , but they need a diaper
I got the job done with or without a screwdriver
Close and far from barbwire
While occasionally sipping hard cider
Or Budweiser
I'm no liar
Or one to preach to the choir
Nearby a campfire
And 4 car tires
I stood with a Rottweiler
Feeling lazy or hyper
Harmless like a Sandpiper
Damgerous like a Pit Viper
Harmless like all these ass wipers
Dangerous like a sniper
Harmless like a Striper
Dangerous like a Tiger
Harmless like the town crier
Dangerous like a Black Widow or Red-Back spider
Harmless like always being nicer
Dangerous like the edge of a pizza slicer
It's time for the next shock
Most thought they could fix it with a pep talk
Meanwhile close by flew a red hawk
Before I decided to jet off
Dealt with pests lots, put them in a headlock
Then they came to a dead stop
Nearby the bedrock
It's revolting
Far too much overindulging
And information withholding
Dangerous like exposure to molding
In all directions it's pulling
I'm still mulling
Meanwhile they continue at lulling
So that they are the ones controlling
In pitch blackness
Full of sadness
Reaching a state of madness
The pattern becoming erratic
It's nearly always tragic
With endless havoc
I almost had it
And went bat
But I partook in Black Magic
In a basement as well as an attic
In the end the outcome was anti-climactic
Brutus, my slavering Rottweiler, growls
He knows he's tougher than pooches with tails
The long pointed studs on his black leather collar
Are matched by his canines which make poodles holler
The drooling saliva that trails from his jaws
As he lumbers about on his four massive paws
Is soaking the ground and his talon like claws
Encouraging folk to keep children indoors
Devil Dog, Satan’s mutt, hellhound and more
All labels my beast has been nick-named before
I feed him on red meat and shin bones of cattle
It’s said he eats tigers but that’s tittle tattle
The park is all ours because other folk run
But wait, there’s a kitten, now this could be fun
Brutus will rip him apart for a lark
And splatter its blood and guts over the park
Hey, kitty kitty, come over to me
Play with my dog, what good friends you could be
But kitten was clever, too clever for me
He hissed and now Brutus is stuck up a tree
OK another adventure in the mad poet’s life,
This occurred just before I met Jane, my imaginary wife.
Jane’s brother, Glen had set me up with a blind date
He said the girl was a stunner, I could not wait
So dressed in me stripe trouser with me chequer tank top vest
I oiled me baldhead and let the old spice do the rest
Off I went down town to meet Deglet Noor (that was her name)
Glen said, “If you see her lips you’ll want to kiss them more and more.”
Then I saw her, and dam what a blind date
She was lumpy like custard with an all eye seeing Rottweiler that made me fearfully
hesitate.
She looked like a bulldog chewing on a bee
And the Rotter was eyeing me leg as if it wanted to hump me
I thought to myself, give the girl a meal
Then we call it a day and that was the deal
She chose this uptown place where rich people dined
A French restaurant with snails and frogs legs, you know the funny kind
I had a steak, she had prawns and a lobster too
And she persuaded me by force to drink champagne form her trainer shoe
When she ate poor lobster it was a terrible gore
I wish she could have taken a tip from Sir Robert Hinshaw
When we finished the waiter brought the bill and waited for me to pay
£1500 bloody pounds, my bowels almost gave way
I said to him “We not finished yet. Could we have Ice cream and coffee?”
And I said “Oh and don’t forget the mint toffee”
Me credit card was on strike and would not handle that amount
It was time for me to exit time to get out
So when the waiter had gone I told her I was going to the loo
Said to her I needed to off load a number two
In a terrible panic I managed to squeeze through the window, hitting the deck
I punched the air shouting “Yes!” followed by an “Oh F-ck” and “What the Heck”
I had fallen into the kitchen and not outside you see
The head chef said “We built it this way to stop people like you stealing from me”
Five weeks on and 100000 dishes later,
If I stayed any longer I’m sure I would have been promoted to head waiter
Nevertheless, If you do come across Glen give me a shout
Tell him the mad poet is looking to blow his brains out
**For my sweet Delysia Hendricks who asked me to write this poem**
**Deglet Noor is a date that you eat if you didn't know**
The neighbours went off on their yearly vacation,
Off to visit some foreign nation.
Leaving me keys and a list a mile long,
To watch their pets. What could go wrong?
The rottweiler is a gentle soul
As long as there's always food in her bowl.
The trick is filling it as quick as can be,
So you need to be fast, faster than me.
The birds take pride in emptying their dishes
All over the floor, and then there's the fishes.
So there's food and water and then food again,
Making sure there's enough to last until when
The next day begins and we start it anew.
I'm told there's a cat. Really! Who knew?
If there is , it certainly keeps itself hid.
It's like playing hide and seek with some little kid.
Walking the dog has become quite a chore.
She sees the leash and runs for the door.
After being dragged two miles the walk finally starts.
The dog is immense, she should be pulling carts.
Back to the house and the hide and seek game.
If there is a cat, it doesn't come to it's name.
The birds are now staring at their seeds on the floor.
I refuse to refill the dishes as I head to the door.
So this daily ritual will last another week
And I'll keep trying to win the game of hide and seek.
Thank goodness their vacation only comes once a year.
After watching the pets ....I could sure use a beer.
I will build an art center for those who like to play
Hope to have it finished by next April or May
Will invite youth and others who are merry and gay.
Will throw out contenders who are bullies like Ray.
Will give hospice nurses ten thousand dollars each
letting them redesign the hospital rooms in fuchsia or peach
also handing them five thousand just to have in their hand
will give six thousand dollars to the high school band.
Will give teachers who follow the golden rule twenty thou.
And purchase 4-H youth a pig, chicken, horse, mule or cow.
yes, I mean each one in the state, why not?
this money was gravy, not honestly sought.
My children will be whining, so I will toss them a bone.
Twenty-thousand each year, if they stay in their home.
And share the wealth with others, less fortunate than them.
Then I will buy a comfy chair for my Uncle Jim.
I like my car, and my husband likes his.
So changing vehicles is not part of this biz.
We love dogs so much, I might go back to the pound.
And bring home a poodle, Pekinese, collie, Rottweiler and hound.
We will end up with an orphanage for dogs and wayward moms.
There will be restraining orders for nasty Freds, Dicks and Toms.
A lot of the money will go to my bodyguard crew.
Who will guard us all nightly, and they will benefit too.
You want to know about it
The bad memories, the pain
Ok just wait for a bit
Ill have to jig it out my brain
It happened in the middle of May
Glen my friend was off to Spain
I remember it was a sunny day
A few months before I dated his sister Jane
“Come around please, pet sit”
“Jane and I will be gone five days”
“It will be only for a little stint”
“The dogs just eat and want to laze”
So off I go up the hill, House No 7
A beautiful mansion, the best on the road
You could almost feel as if you were in heaven
With a gate that had a 6 digit code
An eloquent man answered the door
Handed me the leashes and said he’d be back a five
“Don’t surprise them” and he said no more
I heard the car as it left the drive
Sniff, Sniff, then, it happened
A huge black object almost snapped off my nose
I caught the rottweiler by the skin of it neck
The chiwawa was dangling from my nuts and my hose
I screamed colourful words but for you I’ll use “What the heck”
I could not let go as I kick the rottweiler in the nuts
It squealed, then growled it went wild
I punched it as hard as I could right in the guts
Then I ran upstairs with a chiwawa hanging screaming like a child
I dove through the upstairs window to the grass
With a chiwawa squeezing my bits
But this time with a rottweiler attached to my ****.
The rottweiler landed first with me on top as we hit
I suffered a broken collar bone, a leg and an arm
The rottweiler was out but the chiwawa was hanging on
I didn’t think the chiwawa would cause so much harm
Till I ripped it from my loins and with my good arm threw it far and long
I fell on the ground in pain, I thought this was the end
And as if a miracle an angel stood sent from heaven
It was the familiar face of Glen my trusty friend
He said what you doing at no7 we waiting at no 11.
dogs on vacation filling up the beach with warm barks
dobermans, german shepherds, prissy poodles that cause sparks
husky and rottweiler are sharing a purple lounge chair in the sun
excited corgis begin a volley ball game; this is all kinds of fun!
bulldogs and blue heelers, tripping around in the moist sand.
perky dogs with fluffy tails that are wildly frenzied and fanned.
chihuahuas and yorkies and there is a beagle with a howl.
this would not be the place for a kitten or fowl.
let’s vacation on down to the Vermosa beach
and drink some cold water with slight taste of peach
here comes a striped surfboard and a jet ski too
unhappy mailmen fall from the sky, out of the blue
Some dogs call them master, but I always called mine ‘Dad”
I haven’t seen him in so long, perhaps I drove him mad
For when that car bumped into him and knocked him off his feet
Some people took my dad and left me standing in the street
I never saw him after that… was everything my fault
Did he wash his hands of me, I cannot bear that thought
They put me in a place with other dogs locked up in cages
I barked a lot at first but I was there for simply ages
It took a while but I accepted Dad had let me go
I guess I wasn’t up to scratch although I’ll never know
Then, one day a couple said, “We can’t leave him behind.”
And they were nice; alas, they weren’t the dad I hoped I’d find
I never would deny the gift of this my newfound home
Without my lovely humans I’d be caged or left to roam
I’ve never been ungrateful for the love they’ve shared with me
Yet every single time we walked, my dad I hoped to see
But that was many years ago and we’ve had fun and hugs
They even have my picture printed on their coffee mugs
These days our walks are shorter and although they’re still quite fun
My aging bones make walkies slow; I certainly can’t run
I sometimes see my people looking at me like they’re sad
I’m glad we’ve been there for each other… but I miss my dad
It’s strange that since I woke I seem to have new strength today
But now I see that other ’me’ which means I’m on my way
Before I was adopted Ron Rottweiler told me that -
When your time is done you’ll see yourself still on your mat
Your humans will be sad because you had to go away.
I always hoped I’d see my dad again before that day
In this new state I know much more than I had known before
I know that there’s a bridge to cross but I want something more
Before I cross to what comes next and set my spirit free
I want to find my dad so he’s the final thing I see
I know now where I lived and it’s a long, long way to go
But wait, I see my favourite toy and hear a voice I know…
I turn to see the rainbow bridge and yonder rainbow light
A figure stands in silhouette and yet an awesome sight
The figure walks towards me in its own familiar way
It reaches out its hand to me and then I hear ‘him’ say,
“I’ve waited all these seven years - the angels think me mad -
We’ll cross that bridge together for I’ve always been your dad.”