Pet Sitting??????

You want to know about it
The bad memories, the pain
Ok just wait for a bit
Ill have to jig it out my brain

It happened in the middle of May
Glen my friend was off to Spain
I remember it was a sunny day
A few months before I dated his sister Jane

“Come around please, pet sit”
“Jane and I will be gone five days”
“It will be only for a little stint”
“The dogs just eat and want to laze”

So off I go up the hill, House No 7
A beautiful mansion, the best on the road
You could almost feel as if you were in heaven
With a gate that had a 6 digit code

An eloquent man answered the door
Handed me the leashes and said he’d be back a five
“Don’t surprise them” and he said no more
I heard the car as it left the drive 

Sniff, Sniff, then, it happened

A huge black object almost snapped off my nose
I caught the rottweiler by the skin of it neck
The chiwawa was dangling from my nuts and my hose
I screamed colourful words but for you I’ll use “What the heck”

I could not let go as I kick the rottweiler in the nuts
It squealed, then growled it went wild
I punched it as hard as I could right in the guts
Then I ran upstairs with a chiwawa hanging screaming like a child

I dove through the upstairs window to the grass 
With a chiwawa squeezing my bits
But this time with a rottweiler attached to my ****.
The  rottweiler landed first with me on top as we hit

I suffered a broken collar bone, a leg and an arm
The rottweiler was out but the chiwawa was hanging on
I didn’t think the chiwawa would cause so much harm
Till I ripped it from my loins and with my good arm threw it far and long

I fell on the ground in pain, I thought this was the end
And as if a miracle an angel stood sent from heaven
It was the familiar face of Glen my trusty friend
He said what you doing at no7 we waiting at no 11.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Slaughter Avatar
November 15, 2010 at 3:00 PM
This had me cracking up from the first. I used to have a Rottweiler, so that made it all the more funny to me! Only she would have took out your legs instead of your nose...lol Thanks for sharing this one with me! I might have missed it otherwise, I come here and I have to pick and choose from so many good poems to read, and I don't have a lot of time.
Devonshire Avatar
August 21, 2010 at 6:03 PM
Ditto to what Lamptey wrote. Just read your other poem about the girl and the two stones. This is another ace! You could really put together a terrific collection of short stories based on poems like these. Great plot twist in this one as well. Shall I call you Mr. Hitchcock? Well done!! Love, Carolyn
Kofi Avatar
August 19, 2010 at 4:21 PM
YOU ARE GENIUS IN THIS.
Culverhouse Avatar
August 18, 2010 at 6:33 AM
too funny!! I enjoyed this today, you gave me a smile.
A   Avatar
August 18, 2010 at 1:24 AM
Sidney, enjoyed reading your fun way to write, have a nice one,..p.d.
Brown Avatar
August 17, 2010 at 12:14 PM
I enjoyed reading your poetry today Sidney. The best to you in the contest. Wishing you the best in your writing endeavors whatever they may be. Love, Carol
Neels Avatar
August 17, 2010 at 5:17 AM
hehe, something like this will only happen with you Sidney, jk :) .. enjoyed this one... Good luck with the contest..
Mehta Avatar
August 17, 2010 at 3:48 AM
I enjoyed this hilarious and witty thoughts on Pet-sit. Good Luck, Sidney
Roberts Avatar
August 16, 2010 at 11:27 PM
cute one, very funny, good luck in the contest
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