Long Rookies Poems
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They rode to matches in an old school bus.
The rookies at the front, old players in back,
the coach, by the driver, "she's one of us!".
Wore team colors out, came home wearing black.
An ice hockey team, the pride of Humbolt,
met a 40 ton semi that just didn't break.
Sixteen young players' futures bought to a halt
by a worn out driver, barely awake.
Six thousand people in that prairie town,
a whole nation cried for their sons that night,
but not enough tears the sorrow to drown,
of a mother sobbing, eyes wet, throat tight.
Think on your kids, playing sport, feeling fine,
then think on the loss at lonely stop sign.
Young rookie cop was horrified at the old lady’s truth.
She wanted to put on the cuffs and haul her in.
Wait a sec, the veteran sergeant said. This is Auntie Ruth.
She might not be the culprit. She has an identical twin.
So let’s go get the other one, said the rookie, Ilene.
Not as easy as you think, it has been years since she’s been seen.
Maybe she killed her also, the rookie cop said, horrified.
Where would the body be? It would smell if she died.
The rookie could not believe the blasé’ attitude of this man.
Maybe his days on the beat had better come to an end.
Auntie Ruth poured her a glass of dandelion wine.
To tell the truth, it smelled amazingly fine.
I killed him on a Wednesday, the old lady said.
I chased him out of the kitchen, threw soup can at his head.
He was dead as a certificate, and it filled me with glee.
The rookie was askance at her loud tee hee hee.
She said I have some paperwork to do and went to the car.
This lady could be an axe murderer as far as she could tell.
Let’s go said the Sarge, he had a plate of cookies on his lap.
She thought he was an uncaring weird old set-in-his-ways sap.
When they got to the station the other rookies surrounded her.
Met Old Auntie Ruth? They chortled and cackled with orneriness pure.
She is the Chief of Police’s wife, and has dementia that makes her a queen.
We go to visit her every Wednesdays, to listen to her tales of mean.
You mean she has not killed all of those people with axe?
They laughed at her naïve eagerness to laugh at the facts.
She’s a harmless old woman, they assured her, quite safe.
None realized she’s killed that day their Chief, who now lay in the lake.
Let’s go on the mother load road trip across continents skip
Even the hip can’t snip or pip the lip fillip of each sip or dip
A sybaritic not a critic’s tour to explore why more is more
Streets of beats galore & locavore treats an epicurean drip
In the Argentine bravado larder of course the empanada
From their mercado source with fine wine could try harder
Top of the poll Asado's charcoal soul to the song of cicada
Austrian fold in the past caught for foodies some sort of sport
They’ve fought over which Sacher torte does bewitch hold court
Or flattered the dish that mattered plattered crumbed & battered
Viennese wheeze a subpoena tease for a leaner schnitzel wiener
Lazing ease & grazing please on amazing spice isles in pyjamas
Laid back smiles made crack conch rice & peas in the Bahamas
Don’t give a damn about Claude Van Dam give me real mussels
Garlic specked not muscle flecked fraud whenever in Brussels
Snaffle waffles abroad should be crisp gooey as Belgians know
Elite frites oh and their stonker bonkers Wonka flair cocoa show
Brazil’s fill me to the gills thrill is still & always will be Feijoada
Even those in a posh off roader chose this nosh meat's Pagoda
Top of the steeple of food of the people a homegrown Skoda
Adore for any course a tour de Force encore honed toned Yoda
Canadian hardy foie gras machine a mardi gras that’s Arcadian
In the stirrup chirrup quaffing absurd maple syrup is Palladian
Nerds with their curds scoffing mean poutine almost Circadian
For rookies ducks pluck shells shuck bones suck cookies for luck
Opiner cuisine not in history stuck a mean memory mystery miner
Hymn of whim cough overcome by swim in broth Szechuan numb
Yummy unctuous darlings scrumptious diddly umptious dim sum
Ho hum no scrum finer all day diner always did come from China
H-E-L-P!!! N-e-e-d s-o-m-e b-o-d-y!!!...
Spouse booby trapped husband!!!
Homicide courtesy munch
house zen by proxy
immediately suspected hunch
police, K9 corps, and ambulance
nearly lost their lunch crossing over divide
yellow crime tape
cordoned off homicide
booted feet did poetically crunch
while leashes untangled,
viz braided bunch.
Law enforcement officers i.e. they
Perkiomen Township precinct tidy
as... executive attache
case headed by narcotics
mod squad trooper Amelie
Beth knew address of scrivener brother
immediately quaffed mouthful Schuylkill
downing requisite with "FAKE" sedative cray
zee that seems giving
judicious punch to allay
time and again marital altercations daresay
put Schwenksville neighborhood
under immediate lockdown
Bay of Pigs in comparison childsplay
summoned rookies re:
instant karma coldplay
witnessed unusual display
officers, paramedics, and trained
German shepherds on faux pas did pray
(canines formerly under religious sway
nsync with neutered saint Matthew Scott
sacred church fathers and mothers
panglossian benevolence ne'er betray
loved spouting doggerel pay
Canis lupus familiaris obeissance
oh... I got scent tum mental anyway
kit and caboodle - women in blue,
plus aforementioned cod ray
regarding medical technicians
braced themselves steely, fiery, burly,...
former career recruits, thus okay
toughened courtesy green beret
fearless motley crew did sashay
gingerly, nimbly, softly... treading listening
faintly hearing sauntered without delay,
whence plaintive bent down on haunches
analogous to plie (plea yea)
including dogs ready to spring,
where overly curious inquisitive nee
bores asked to take selfie oy vey
afterwards quickly made bee line
discerning most strategic way
to enter apartment and rescue
a scene no stranger Giacomo Casanova,
to Rabelais, or Marquis de Sade
chaos theory put thru paces
mind boggling utter disarray
courtesy the missus
floor to ceiling clutter, perhaps soiree
gone awry with personal paraphernalia
strewn helter skelter hodge podge
bajillion potential accidents away
one misstep to temper and disable
garden variety trumpeting popinjay.
When the temp goes down smiles come out.
You can hear the cheers of athletes shout.
Coming from competitors of all walks of life.
Piercing the chill like butter with a hot knife.
Strapping up ski boots to hit the steep slopes.
Some rookies are naturals learning the ropes.
Bundled up and ready to get up from a spill.
Back to flying down that flurry covered hill.
Helping cheer up a buddy short on confidence.
Since sportsmanship pays us back in cents.
There’s more than one winner in every race.
If you do your best, the prize is on your face.
So whether standing on skates or skis.
Or falling and pushing on with sore knees.
There’s a champ fighting to better ourself.
This isn’t for the glory, it’s to feel real health.
Count them out and they’re coming up winners.
Earning every bite of the hot recovery dinners.
So enjoy the show, because they’re having fun.
No matter the standings of when it’s all done.
I lift and rise to being chased,
pops half-way, till full, beamed round-faced,
a fire host heightened its facade,
casting daylight shadows abroad.
Cool Earth plunged hot by its keeper,
heat courses like the Grim Reaper,
smiles at darkness to wait its turn,
up curve tidied, noon loses yearn.
Orange turns red, claws at purple,
white flagged as dusk makes a hurtle,
a gloaming rhythms the musing sphere,
like one tied to tracks, locked in fear.
Named twilight as some light appears,
though hour triggers those tryst affairs,
calm ruse warmth as limbs fuss about,
caught midnight streams like baited trout.
A night dips mid-Cherub's flirting,
their chariot horses fleeing,
while the golden sentinel rides,
as the solitaire lift comprised.
A new task surround, maneuvers,
seers illume become producers,
hail a whole new year of seasons,
first, until last, filled with reasons.
The lead round about the bodies,
as they spin on stage like follies,
glows revue as savory hams,
marooned its taste just like PB Jams.
Bittersweet, as they realigned,
lead pars best swept the rest, resigned,
equinox and solstice charted,
psyche chose, and rookies parted.
A decisive planet divides,
segregation always collides,
closets partitioned a household,
Edens knowledge, they were paroled.
As a classroom globe builds up dust,
while folks roam about, make a fuss,
intellect cleans a tarnished steel,
greens will entomb them 'ere they kneel.
Looking forward all winter for my vacation
A three-day excursion put on by We Are One Nation
We parked our RV’S near the foothill,
then hiked and climbed top of the cliff and met Will
When the sign appeared Reggae Pon the Mountain,
we were quickly escorted to the water fountain
Come and jam to the tunes of the Marleys
Hanga-langa and check out the Harleys
The Jamaican food—colorful, soulful—sublime
One look and I knew right away I would need more time
to enjoy Reggae 'Pon The Mountain
We bought masks, jewelry and tasted the cookies
Ingredients pure, strong, overwhelmed—we felt like rookies
C’mon stay mon, enjoy the music all day, sangalanga on Topanga
You know the Canyon known for the rock-stars?
Three days of festive delight, tonight be romantic, sleep in your cars!
Our host thanked us and said Jah be with you, Rastafari
We waved as he drove off in his Ferrari
We’ll be back tomorrow for the Caribbean callaloo
where we’ll stay all day and enjoy the hullaballoo
A music festival up on the mountain
Christmas
witness
Noel’s
sleigh bells
Twinkling
inkling
Reindeer
brings cheer
Season
reason
Santa
grant a
snowfall
for all
Cherub
hubbub
Glisten
listen
Yule tunes
bing croons
Advent
time spent
Manger
changer
Starlight
glows bright
Ice skates
elates
Tidings
glidings
Fire place
shows grace
Gold rings
joy brings
Belief
relief
Elves charm
spurns harm
Bandy
Candy
Spices
vices
Gift range
exchange
Excite
this night
Beaming
gleaming
Cookies
rookies
Blessing
guessing
Carols
hymn pearls
Fir trees
yes please
Greetings
meetings
Glory
story
Jolly
holly
Merry
cherry
North Pole
has soul
Nutmeg
clothes peg
St.Nick
warm flick
Relish
well wish
Peace dove
feel love
rejoice
one voice
Date posted ; 13th December 2022
His day began with "Reveille" blaring from within the bowels of the ship.
Sergeants yelled, "Up and at 'em lads! We're takin' a little trip!"
He wearily arose from his bunk to don the accoutrements of war.
He'd survived Guadalcanal, now he faced Iwo Jima's fearsome shore.
They fed him steak and eggs - rookies joked that it may be their final meal.
But the battle-weary Marine was very grim - to him it seemed so surreal.
The chaplain gathered them around and offered a fervent prayer,
Pleading for God's protection and committing them to His care.
The grizzled old "Gunny" yelled, "First platoon over the side!"
"Down those lovely cargo nets, boys! Semper Fi!" he cried!
Bobbing Higgins boats waited below to take him to that perilous strand.
The engines roared as the boat wallowed and rolled t'ward that ebon sand!
He hunkered down with the others, his helmet beating upon his nose.
Others used their helmets to receive bits of breakfast as the boat sank and rose!
Adding to the din of battle so familiar to his ears were shells flying overhead.
As his boat with its precious cargo neared the beach it was hit by zinging lead!
The boat struck a coral reef so they had to wade in water up to their hips.
He struggled with his heavy pack and rifle with a prayer upon his lips.
Brave men fell under withering fire that day as they tried to force a breach.
Brave men forever lost their innocence that day on that hallowed beach!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
FRED THE PERV.
Kinky Fred stole knickers off the line
One summer night his haul totalled nine
His spree ended in tears
Got an extra ten years
When Judge Sue said that red pair were mine.
LARS.
A young astronaut from NASA called Lars
Blasted off from Cape Kennedy to Mars
But then there was a glitch
When he pressed the wrong switch
Last seen heading at warp speed to the stars.
PETE.
A young pianist from New York called Pete
Could play William Tell using his feet
But he fell of his chair
And he started to swear
Was booed off and thrown into the street.
JOHNNY GABLE.
A mean old waiter called Johnny Gable
Saw a man choke to death on a bagel
He then shifted his body
To the side of the lobby
Said forgive me but we need the table .
O'TOOLE.
A forgetful pilot Johnny O'Toole
Was over the north sea flying to Bule
Then both engines spluttered
Under his breath muttered
Looked at his gauge and screamed no ruddy fuel.
OLD GANGSTER.
An old gangster rose from rags to riches
Got rid of all his traitors and snitches
They'd find in their bed
A racehorses head
Or find themselves sleeping with the fishes.
THE BAKER.
An unwashed old baker from Idaho
Had filthy fingers when kneeding the dough
Folk choked on his paella
Some died from salmonella
Got closed down and ended up on skid row.
O'KEEFE.
A fella by the name of O'Keefe
Was the long serving town's police chief
Someone stole the mess cookies
Everyone blamed the rookies
But it turned out O'Keefe was the thief.
AMOUROUS MICHAEL.
Amourous young Michael from Mayo
At a girls house he tried to stayo
She started to shouto
And then kicked him outo
Said she" you're not staying no wayo."
NIGERIAN POEM THIEF.
A sly poem thief from Nigeria
On the soup caused a mass hysteria
He stole soupers work
Soupers went beserk
On the run now cos he's in fear of ya.
Written 18th august 2019.