Young Rookie Cop and Her Instincts

Young rookie cop was horrified at the old lady’s truth. She wanted to put on the cuffs and haul her in. Wait a sec, the veteran sergeant said. This is Auntie Ruth. She might not be the culprit. She has an identical twin. So let’s go get the other one, said the rookie, Ilene. Not as easy as you think, it has been years since she’s been seen. Maybe she killed her also, the rookie cop said, horrified. Where would the body be? It would smell if she died. The rookie could not believe the blasé’ attitude of this man. Maybe his days on the beat had better come to an end. Auntie Ruth poured her a glass of dandelion wine. To tell the truth, it smelled amazingly fine. I killed him on a Wednesday, the old lady said. I chased him out of the kitchen, threw soup can at his head. He was dead as a certificate, and it filled me with glee. The rookie was askance at her loud tee hee hee. She said I have some paperwork to do and went to the car. This lady could be an axe murderer as far as she could tell. Let’s go said the Sarge, he had a plate of cookies on his lap. She thought he was an uncaring weird old set-in-his-ways sap. When they got to the station the other rookies surrounded her. Met Old Auntie Ruth? They chortled and cackled with orneriness pure. She is the Chief of Police’s wife, and has dementia that makes her a queen. We go to visit her every Wednesdays, to listen to her tales of mean. You mean she has not killed all of those people with axe? They laughed at her naïve eagerness to laugh at the facts. She’s a harmless old woman, they assured her, quite safe. None realized she’s killed that day their Chief, who now lay in the lake.