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My Resolutions Contribution

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Funny New Years Resolutions Contest

Sponsor: Constance La France 12/14/23

"I don't call them New Year's Resolutions. I prefer the term: Casual Promises to myself that I am under no legal obligation to fulfill." ~ jamonkey.com I've given thought, after a titch of consideration, to make New Year's resolutions... such a vexation I hesitated to do so without serious contemplation because quite often I'm led astray by temptation I will write better poetry to post on the Soup Be more productive among my peer group Mind my own business, on others I won't snoop But won't swear not to write limericks about poop. I will waive my penchant for chocolate... well, maybe That will be the most difficult resolution to keep for me I vow to give up margaritas and switch to sweet tea And I'll put it all in writing. I'll even sign that decree! I will not let sticks and stones break my bones I'll just blame it on an imbalance of her hormones Or on a guy who acts like one of the Flintstones Maybe on a plethora of a million other unknowns I will forgive anyone who screams at me in rants I will not respond like there are ants in my pants I seriously promise that I will give peace a chance Smoke a peace pipe instead of doing a war dance I will consider it a compliment to be called 'mean girl' By anyone who derogatorily behaves like a churl I'll have more patience, so my temper doesn't unfurl And smile more often. I'll give that thought a whirl I will make it a definite priority as one of my goals To walk away from bullies and persnickety trolls Wooly wolves who pretend to be sheep in their roles But who expose themselves as taunting buttholes I am determined to start eating much healthier food knowing it's a required taste that I've not yet accrued I believe I will enjoy life more with a positive attitude And ignore negative folks who like practicing turpitude I will do my utmost best not to break one resolution But if I do, I must supplicate for leniency and absolution I'll not give up a resolution without making a substitution If you see me cheating, take my chocolate as retribution

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Beata Agustin

Date: 12/31/2023 11:48:00 PM

Congrats. Thanks for sharing this. Joyous New year to you and your family. God bless you.

Lin Lane
Date: 12/31/2023 11:49:00 PM

Thank you very much and I wish the same prosperous and healthy New Year to you and yours.

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 12/31/2023 1:03:00 PM

Congratulations with your win. I loved reading your way toooooo funny of a write. Also love your picture/quote. Still laughing... Happy New Year... Write More In 24...........................

Lin Lane
Date: 12/31/2023 1:30:00 PM

It makes me happy to bring smiles to you, Paula. Have a safe night.

Constance La France

Date: 12/31/2023 6:23:00 AM

Lin, congratulations on your win in my Funny New Years Resolutions contest, your poem was fun and I liked it a lot, Happy New Year, Constance

Lin Lane
Date: 12/31/2023 8:07:00 AM

I'm so pleased you liked it, Constance. Thank you for a placement in your contest. My wish for you is a new year filled with happiness, health and a pen that never runs dry, sweet friend.

Jerry Brotherton

Date: 12/15/2023 4:05:00 AM

A charming list of casual promises, Lin. Wonderful rhyming scheme and creativity. Best of luck with the contest, my friend.

Lin Lane
Date: 12/16/2023 6:58:00 AM

Thank you, Jerry for you encouraging remarks.

Jay Narain

Date: 12/14/2023 9:15:00 AM

Lots of resolutions. It is hard even one to keep. I will give you my address, I am ready for chocolate.

Lin Lane
Date: 12/14/2023 9:34:00 AM

Hi Jay. Thanks. Actually, I've never made a resolution. I'd either forget about it or say..."Nope, not gonna do it!" So... you have a sweet tooth, too.

Tom Cunningham

Date: 12/14/2023 8:20:00 AM

You've covered it well Lin, should I give you my address to send the chocolate lol. Tom

Lin Lane
Date: 12/14/2023 9:33:00 AM

lol Tom. We live a little too far apart for mailing chocolate. I'd never give up Butterfingers or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/14/2023 9:26:00 AM

You might as well give me your address so you can have mine, I'd last a day.

Lin Lane
Date: 12/14/2023 8:30:00 AM

So that's how it's going to be, is it? I thought I could count on you not to tell, knowing it's much too tempting to give up! Lol Thank, Tom.