Long Penney Poems

       When the Chinese lady was finished weighing Gus, 
he picked up his backpack and followed her 
to the back alley. 
"Restaurant is full of stupid Americans", she taunted,...

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And thus began their heroic journey through the fantastical labyrinth of the escape room, where every twist and turn carried the promise of freedom, laughter, and the unforeseen—the perfect remedy for chaos and an unexpected...

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(Background:  After I retired from the college some years ago, I decided to take a 
temporary sales job at J.C. Penney in the mens’ wear department.  The pay was 
laughable, but I had...

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    Besides noticing a few people who quickly turned away into the stores, (like a cockroach when the light switch is activated.) Penney also noticed that she had forgotten her bra. Well,...

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Mindfulness




look deep in my eyes you shall see the karma of my lasting legacy willing to achieve

took a zip line down to my baby's grind sought out peace for a sure fire sweet relief

rolling them...

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In a mall that could only be described as a circus of chaos, Penney and Gus found themselves in an absurd game of cat and mouse. The air buzzed with a mixture of excitement and...

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As they hurried to the door, the sounds of laughter and shouts from outside faded but never completely disappeared. They could still hear the teenagers chanting and the Bunny making sarcastic comments to keep the...

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Their eyes widened, and the group leaned in with curiosity. “What’s in it for us?” one of them asked, lowering his phone and adopting a tone that suggested a wild adventure was imminent, perhaps even...

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     RufePal kept muttering "jv" team as it looked 
around the room,
hoping to find someone underage to mentor to.

Michael blurted, "you and your precious 
America! You are so gullible and trusting.
Penney...

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“Let’s go!” Penney urged, leading the charge through the newfound exit. They raced through a short hallway that led to a room filled with oversized playing cards and whimsical drawings that seemed to come to...

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       Gus got all of those who were allowed to attend 
and "available" settled in around his big oak table. 
He even put in an extra leaf to accomodate,...

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     Whoopie stayed there counting all the white people leaving while flatulantly writing a letter to the Israeli people, denying their right to exist and denying the holocaust happenings and carboned...

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      The atmosphere was alive and palpable,
 surreal really
as the aegean blue of electrons after a 
summer downpour, where the crickets take a short reprieve to zen the petrichor.

 ...

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Moments later, a furious Michael stormed in, eyes ablaze with determination. But the moment he stepped closer, he was faced with an army of Penneys and Guses—four, five, six reflections dizzying his focus.

“What?! Which one...

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Author's note: This is a sort of postscript, dear reader, to "My Life Upon the Wicked Stage"

When I think of how my life's turned out,
I can say without restraints,
This simple boy from far West Texas...

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    Gus was confused as soon as he said it. 
"That was me, but it wasn't, I mean", he stammered, 
"I said it, but it wasn't from my mind!" 
Penney looked at...

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"It was a beautiful whore of a day", he reasoned, "maybe she will have even less on !"
The little band of misfits garnered the stares of mall patrons as they ran as fast as their...

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When Gus returned into the room Penney was 
beating the crap out of Silky! Apparently he and 
Vatican 2 podiatrist "Peter" had struck 
a prostitution deal involving San Francisco. 
Penney, beach slapping...

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My Yuletide routine ain't changed a great deal over the years.
I enjoy sittin' by the fire with a little somethin' to sip that cheers!
I take my annual stroll through the malls enjoyin' the lights and...

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joe kelley’s dick size

most men who cry silently
about the size of their cock,
do their best to compensate
by getting a big truck with a
huge sound system, so that
they can parade down the street
to show the whole...

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When I rolled over with you,
                             ...

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Penney, Elaine's lovely old poodle
Passed over the hill early one morn,
Those achey old bones were reborn
As she trotted to the Rainbow Bridge.

Penney was a smart little gal,
She loved to eat and always had her fill,
She...

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