Long Out of the question Poems

Long Out of the question Poems. Below are the most popular long Out of the question by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Out of the question poems by poem length and keyword.


Premium Member Dragon Guards His Princess Fair

A muscular good-looking prince was in love with a princess so fine,
But he accidentally died on a hidden chicken bone, when he dined.
He accidentally wayfared himself to the bowels of he**, in the back.
Where the meanest devils wanted to eat him as a holiday snack.

“He’s in the wrong place,” the hot-as-Hades jury man yelled in his cup.
He has to go back to the earth world, but they’d burned his body all up.
“What bodies do we have left?” Devil asked his committee, all around.
 Zod’s body, the fiercest dragon in the world, was the only one they found.

So they put the prince’s soul in it, and sent him back to Princess Mur.
Consummation was out of the question, but at least he still had her.
Zod stands guard daily by her castle, in his formidable attire.
And chases off all other princes, who come along to admire.

He knows they can never fully a loving, live-long couple truly be.
But he is standing guard forever now, in his muscular entirety.
Princess Mur knows there is something special about this champion as well.
She has dreams about him that are so sensual, they must come from the bowels of he**.
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Old and Crusty

(Pema, spring of 2024)

Old and Crusty

Pema the deaf dog
Has gotten to the point
Where long walks are out of the question
But long naps are without question.

He’s looking pretty scruffy these days
Tongue always hanging out a bit
Since he has so few teeth left,
Eyes cloudy and weepy
And joints all stove up,
But I still love him with all my heart.

And so does everyone else who knows him,
But more and more it’s not so much
For the pug he is
As much as the one he once was
And this recognition breaks my heart
A little each time I realize it.

Breaks my heart for him and his numbered days
And for me, his faithful master
Who really isn’t much different.

(6/12/25)
Form: Narrative

Premium Member Roses For -- Pd

The Aqua-BLUE Rose, ROSE of  “SORROW “
Two Orange Roses Grown at Sunrise ; Tomorrow
Remembrance of LOVE, Three Yellow ROSES
True LOVE, the seeds with-in YOUR Heart ; Four Red Roses
Five Blushing Pink Roses, in Shyness, my Valentine is YOU 
Pure White Roses, a half dozen Strong, Bloom Eternally for YOU
Triangulated with Three Gardenias, the flower of Courtesy and Respect 

Inspired by the Contest : ROSES ARE RED. Violets are out of the question~
LOL~ ROSES FOR PD~~ Dedicated to the Magnificent POETESS - PD 
                             Written by HGarvey Daniel Esquire

             Author’s Note : Once again I was to Late for the Contest
             LOVE ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Liege…Harry
Form: Rhyme

Captain's Condition

Tropical shores rarely see explosions by their waters
Being places of tranquility, peace and love
Captain sank his ship between two islands
Paradise opened up a hole on the horizon
A condition, a catastrophe brought on
By the lunatic in charge of pirate lives
Canon aimed down on center deck and fired
Floor board’s splintered
The boat went down just like a rock
Crew knew too well their leaders mental state
More than an argh could save the day 
Mutiny was out of the question
Boat was gone, down and wet
Their mad man ordered them to dance on water
To drink rum and shave their faces clean
Pirates are preoccupied however
Not with orders to be obeyed 
Such absurdities will have to wait
When swimming from the sharks afraid
Beneath the pretty tropic waves

Innocent Omission of a Lower Case M

Top notch legal scholar Erin Go Braw
     (less concerned about being fair versus
     abominable, irrevocable, and execrable
     unforgivable oversight most holy "M" & nonce)

cabinet of high priests,
     sans spelling chieftains ready to claw
your person to bits,
     and they presage remote clemency

     which decision told, when Jeff Sessions
     decides final punishment to draw
now, (see excerpted lines
     visited with glaring flaw

"Benediction For Lord Apple Macintosh"
     where ...bot sized wetbacks, setbacks,
     and drawbacks, required a secret char),...
     intimates a "hee haw"

and rock'm n sock'm pull no punches
     square at yar triangular jaw
YES, on account misspelling,
     whence Grammarian Jude Law

at the least aims (to topple a prospective
     title of eminence grise), banning access
     to such undeserved
     catbird seat, sans Rhetorical perch

laughing while ja plaintively call for maw
darn Oxford English Dictionary - but naw
can do, and hence paw
mister trumpeting 

     "FAKE" wordsmith raw
flesh will turn into....
unreadable print until closing text
that elaborates how holiness felt vexed.

To ye (a freshly minted scalawag),
     these 20/20 eyes bulged agog
while steaming with invective
     at what attempted

     to pass as sacred poetic blog
when thee (Matthew Scott Harris),
     now pronounced, an illiterate,
     immoderate, and inveterate å!@#$%?

with a severe cerebral clog
(meaning prefrontal lobotomy
     not out of the question),
      you m~r mangy whelp of a she dog
     (my humble apologies to canines),

less deserving than being
     whipped near death's doorstep flog
after henchmen (strongly
     resembling Alaskan BullWorms
     guarding this royal hutch,
     herein Cupertino, California.


The To Do List the Serious One

The To Do List - The Serious One

The goal today is to wake up and be alive
If you die you serve no purpose
The gold fish cannot feed itself you know
This is no circus
Next thing to do is to do the dishes
If they refuse just leave them for the misses
Take out the trash with a semi-automatic
If it talks back, kill it on the spot
(You simply can’t have refuse talking trash like that)
Enlist the spouse to make you coffee
It does not make itself
Nothing in life is free she says
As she falls back to sleep
There is no coffee in the house.  There is no food as well
Shopping is out of the question without a car
Put that on the To Do List for tomorrow
Along with a pen and paper to get things done
This is no charity organization just for fun
Lists can’t write themselves
“Find a job” should be at the top of any list
Along with dreams and wishes
The goal today is to be alive
If you die you serve no purpose

Square Get Into Shape Maureen

Get into Shape Maureen

Scary words for a Square

Or if you are a fat get like me 

My head is the shape of a potato 

My waistline resembles a Burger

And my bum takes the shape of a Doughnut 

Because I can't keep my mouth shut

And I have Pear induced childbearing hips 

And my thighs pass for ships in the night

So I can't wear anything tight

For fear of splitting the seams on my skinny jean's lol

And i have to wear a sport's Bra to flatten my bust

So I don't get asked out on many date's 

And on-line dating is out of the question

Unless I fail to mention

When asked to describe my body Shape ?

Because I then would have to reply ?

Round a kind of figure of 8

Not so much a Shape

More a Pyramid with uneven side's 

Or a Poached Egg attached to a head

You say Shape 

I say Clay

Or children's putty 

For Maureen Mcgreavy
Get into Shape poetry contest
Form: Shape

Normality

Do you ever wish you could be 
another face in the crowd 
that fades from everyone’s memory
blending in like brushstrokes on canvas
catching no one’s attention or mention
Just a mundane man among the many 
laughing a bit too loud in the pub upon
hearing a bawdy joke you found funny
Oiling a squeaky door hinge or
repairing a kitchen drawer that sticks
ticking those tasks off a long list
of everything that needs to be fixed
in the modest house you had to 
sacrifice and save so long to buy
Flying anywhere exceedingly rare 
the cost of first class out of the question
Never wondering if the woman you’re with 
truly loves you or merely the amount 
of currency in your bank account
if she considered what hitching her horse 
to your name might do to further her fame
Unfettered and free to simply converse 
with someone like me
another nobody
Form: Rhyme

Waste Not

The leftovers were sitting there;
With just a little heating,
They’d make a perfect dinner,
One that I had planned on eating.

But there was just a tad too much
And yet out of the question
Was saving it, for by tomorrow
There’d be indigestion.

And so I nuked it all and ate;
My plate had several fills,
Which is the reason why I feel
Stuffed right up to the gills.

I could’ve thrown the extra out
But what I eat is based
Upon that old mentality
That food you shouldn’t waste.

So now I’m bursting at the seams
From everything I’ve tasted;
At least I’ll sleep content to know
No single crumb was wasted!
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member How Do We Get So Obese

It’s called, ’excessive fork to mouth disease’.
Overeating too much of what we please.
Sitting excessively on our derrière?
Watching TV, or writing poetry with magical flairs?

Lockdowns were absolutely no excuse.
Blaming it on “Climate Change…”a bad joke and so incredibly obtuse.
Get off our buttoxes and exercise at home.
It’s OK, to leave your great, altar of the internet, alone!

We lovely women, lose weight slower than charming men.
But there’s no magic pill on which neither can depend!
If I made it from a size sixteen to a size seven,
You can do it, too, it’s simply like being in heaven.

Beers, breads and booze are out of the question.
Wines, pizza, chips just few more to mention!
The key is to not listen, to those who failed.
Else, you be imprisoned in an adipose jail!


Live very long and prosper!
Panagiota


                  8/20/2022
                     ~3 ~
Form: Couplet

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