Long Optician Poems
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ONE SHOULD NOT MAKE PLANS FOR TOMORROW, LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE, THE UNEXPECTED CAN HAPPEN IN A SPLIT SECOND. “QUOTE BY POET”
I woke up to a brilliant sunny spring day,
The flowers blooming, the birds were chirping,
The tree leaves dancing to a gentle wind blowing,
Rustling their young leaves, our chime tinkling.
The jacaranda trees which looked so dashing
Giving us a glorious show, their flowers tumbling
To the ground beneath, resembling purple carpeting.
Our annual optician’s appointment was today,
So off to mall we go, reluctant to leave our patio.
We were right on time, and the optician saw me first,
All good he said after my consultation, go have fun
And choose your specs.
Whilst choosing my funky frames, a petrifying noise
Surrounded the mall, the six of us froze.
So scary ,surreal, horrendous and mind boggling,
Loud shots, automatic gun fire, people shouting,
Shots fired from where no one knew, people screaming,
We huddled under the counter, shots still ringing,
The brave receptionist ran to shut the glass door and locked it
Then ran back to join us under the counter.
Normality returned all too soon, as an elderly man who
Seemed shell shocked and disorientated, stumbled in as the
Receptionist cautiously re-opened the door. He told us the
Robbers were professionals, and were in and out in 5 minutes,
Well-rehearsed he added, and the almighty thunderous
Bangs we heard, were from hearsay, that the robbers
Shot and broke the glass display cabinets, taking
All and every piece of jewellery with them. A getaway car, revving,
In the open parking on the third floor all ready and waiting.
The jewellery shop was just above us. The ear shattering
Sounds were thus inevitable.
My thoughts however went to those terrified people shopping,
In the corridors of the mall,
Who had no shelter at all.
What happened to that wonderful sunny spring morning that I woke up to, flowers blooming, tree leaves gently swaying in the breeze and majestic jacaranda trees carpeting the ground with their purple flowers.
We are mere mortals who live on a very turbulent and troubled planet, a planet called earth.
Miraculously, no one was injured, to my knowledge.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY - IT HAPPENED TO US ON THE 30TH SEPTEMBER
I once dated a weatherman
At first he had a sunny outlook…
He had our future all mapped out
But he suffered periods of deep depression so our relationship got rained off
I once dated an optician
He said he could see our future was together
But soon I stopped wearing rose tinted glasses ...
He was always smashed and making a spectacle of himself
I once dated a librarian
He claimed he was an open book
But I couldn’t cope with the periods of intense silence
So the writing was on the wall and I threw the book at him
I once dated a farmer
He ploughed straight into our relationship
But I discovered he was a muck spreader
And when he started playing the field I ditched him
I once dated a baker
He was very upper crust and well bred
But he couldn’t get his dough to rise
So I toasted his future and said goodbye
I once dated a hairdresser
He was very trim and didn’t have a hair out of place
But he was always making cutting comments
So I cut the relationship short
I once dated a doctor
He had a wonderful bedside manner and he made my temperature rise
But he became very cold and started injecting poison
I lost my ‘patient’s’ and got sick of him so I gave him the cold shoulder
I once dated a barman
He wore very attractive glasses
But he was always on the pull
So I gave him sort measures and 'called time' on our relationship
I once dated a retired policeman
He was an arresting sight
But when he took down his particulars
His truncheon was all floppy – so I bailed out
N/A in Just make me laugh Contest judged on 08/30/16
Submitted to take the dagger from my heart please contest
Sponsored by Broken Wings
27th August 2016
LOVE IN POST WORLD WAR 11
3rd and final episode of trilogy
My Grandfather was incredibly anglicised
Studied in London and qualified as an optician
My mother learnt English at school,
She was my Grandfather’s jewel!
He arranged a huge party for the British boys
That brought them freedom from evil convoys
Liberation, was followed almost immediately,
By a civil war, totally savage,
Which besides causing destruction
Brought a great deal of
Human death and anguish.
They killed many, my grandmother shopping
One day at the grocers watched something horrific,
A pregnant woman bayoneted, my gran fainted.
She was asked to be a witness for the
Families were well acquainted!
The day of the party arrived,
And my mom, already a beautiful girl, preened all day,
She hoped the young chap would come, she was a ray
Of sunshine, flitting to and fro seeing to her guests,
Weaving in and out of dancing couples, when she felt a tap
On her shoulder and there he was ,her handsome soldier,
Asking her for a dance,
They fell in love at a single glance.
The courtship lasted 18 months, my grandfather ecstatic
Of her choice – they got married in Greece
The country in peace, and the lovers at peace.
They traveled to Cyprus, England, Rhodesia, Zambia
And finally, South Africa.
Somewhere along the line I was born,
You see, I still have you all guessing my age,
That part of my diary has lost its page!
Would like us to buy a self- drive camper
So we can eternally roam,
It will be our second home,
Travelling is in my blood, blame
My parents, the army,
To which this I acclaim!
We've waited this long to see
the dead trees spring up again but
No one is moving the mountain;
All we see are accusation fingers
Going up and down, left and right.
When will mother get better again?
When will mother be cure of the
Madness that runs in her prime circle?
Is there no more Chinua' Okonwos in
The Land that could shield mother?
Mother is never an unease land where
All the fingers are not equally made.
Her breast milk is enough for all mouths
But it has been channelled to one path,
Where only few get to taste her wealthy milk.
We've waited this long to sing a new song
on our mother's recovering yet no song is seen.
Which physician is treating her here?
Which Dentist is checking her teeth?
What about her eyes, which optician is there?!
Do you know how much we miss her doctor?
No call, no letter from a mother of peace.
Her green vegetables are falling day by day,
The horses on her coat are voiceless and weak,
The Eagles moan and agony ceased not.
When will mother get better, Doctor?
Her arms seek our embrace and love!
Should we chase the moon from the night race?
Should we blind the sun from the earth?
Should we go on fighting the earthly death?
What shall we do to make mother better?
The planted plant now look at our large mouth,
The cricket in August cease to drum to ears,
Our mother is sick we know that but when
Will she get better Mr Presi-doctor?
We wait your response to clear our doubt.
(C) John Chizoba Vincent
Voice Of Vincent 2016
Wise man say, “No laugh up sleeve, while wear heart on same.
For misconstrued may be, lose heart's desire, passion's flame.”
Happy dentist say, when at chair, always looking down in mouth,
“If two-thirty appointment, timely arrive, open wide, north and south.”
Smart dry cleaner say, “When laundering get old, ironing fatigues.
Fresh stuff, no fluff nor fold, we take care of pressing needs.”
Keen optician see eye to eye, at visit end, who focus on clear point of view
say, "You now seeing well, looking good too.”
Lactose intolerant say, “No cry over milk, inadvertently spilled.
Unless pint unpaid for and unlucky one, who lose bottle, be acutely billed.”
One unhinged psychoanalyst ask, “Jung at heart was Freud.
How it make you feel?” If on couch pay to lie, reply true, “You unemployed!”
Thrifty bank manager ask, “Check in, overdraft terms discuss.
Open savings account, would you credit, spending holidays with us?”
Enlightened electrician say, "Know what's watt, watts' what, no shirk.
When in dark, put hands in air, many hands make light work.”
Savvy shipbuilder who post note, quite staunch,
he write, 'Don't come a-knocking, if boat a-rocking, we out to launch.'
Polite gynaecologist say, "Business looking up, ever more each week.
Sit on table, feet in stirrups, arms akimbo, legs a-spread, turn other cheek.”
Prudent sage say, “Patience virtue, virtuous who want to stay?
No play all work boring make, moment grasp, incentive take, seize day.”
Unquotable quotes – XIII
Follow love for it’s free, free love and it’ll flee.
Do unto others as you would have them undress you.
Easy come, eenie meenie mini go.
Practice makes sex a maniac.
God helps those who help ten elves.
Never kiss a gift horse in the mouth.
People who live in glass houses should not throw boomerangs.
Two heads are no better than none.
Actions speak louder than burps.
A watched pot suffers from boils.
You can’t make a cutlet without breaking legs.
Hang on the hand that feeds you.
All good things must come to a fiend.
If you can’t beat ‘em, grind ‘em.
If it ain’t broke, don’t make it work.
Dislocation is the greater part of valour.
There’s no place like eohm.
A picture is worth a thousand broads.
Better late than dump her.
The pen is mightier than the sword for those who’re
illiterate.
One man’s trash is another man’s pleasure.
Beauty is in the dye of the painter.
Myopia is the mother of the optician.
Familiarity breeds when people camp unkempt.
Good things come to those who know how to put on weight.
A drain is only as long as the longest drink.
Absence makes the heart go ablunder.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him blink.
In teaching others we teach ourselves to teach others.
If you want something done Right, don’t look to the Left.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
I visited the optician, for my failed eye
That sailed all over, no see but look
Down the banana plantatian, directed to vie
For every interested favor, for any could hook
I thought me had seen, a scene so strange
And days were nineteen, the ways and paths
The same way I lean, the thirst to quench-
My eyes in starvin', blind in afterbirth?
The birth had come, for my adult sight
She went springing, sprinkling the charm
With roses from home, her nose for site
Her flavor was making, for fertile the farm
I abstained I aborted, to eat of ma' mum
For not non she was, the could was sprouting
The eye minute supported, me to get the sum
The confusion and wars, a see again doubting
It was once and just, still waiting to see
For men not stones, a day must meet
Ten Christmas but must, be it any fee
Beautiful gold my tone, come on ya feet
It pains and eats, the heartfelt patience
To fall for that, you saw at far
For she knows not, the ambush inconvenience
Her return insomnia, how get back her
Should you meet her, her face is dark
The fore is smooth, the hair is dark
Her neck is conical, she seems to work
My crush my crazy, so dark so cute
My letter is here, carry it to her
Greet her and watch, her soft tender palm
I feel it textures that, whisper in her ears
To reverse her back path, still waiting in calm
Battle Rap
...poet in da house...
Now have a listen, for I’ll be a kissing…I’m on a mission
And you’ll be a pissing your hemolysin…a smelly emission
My words glisten worth the admission…full of ammunition
You’re under submission a life in prison…meet the mortician
Like a magician I’ll take over your vision…call your optician
You’ll be wishing you had a cosmetician…here’s my aesthetician
~~~
Like Mohamed Ali sting you like a bee…crush you like a flea
You’ll sing like a banshee on a screaming spree…cause I’m beastly
Like Mike Tyson run you like a bison…your blood I’ll syphon
Can’t handle my slicing with every word I ripen…I’m the word titan
Like Frank Sinatra and his mafia from Italia…will give you insomnia
In my euphoria and with your apaxia…you’ll be living with anoxia
~~~
You’re an agitator I’m a decorator…a word builder an innovator
I’m a verse creator a rebuilder renovator…a word generator
I have ambition you need a beautician…an ugly position
In my coalition you need permission…luck with the audition
I’m not a hater just much greater…a smooth operator
Like a Terminator I’ll see you later…your exterminator
~~~
I’LL BE BACH!!!
I'm not really a rapper...just having fun lol
May.16.2018
8 Mile Style Poetry
Sponsored by: Nick Trim
REFLECTED IMAGE
I looked into a mirror
and then I smiled to see
A pleasant smiling image
reflecting back at me.
When I'd taken a closer look
my skin seemed young and clear,
not a blemish was in sight,
starting my day with good cheer
There were a few small wrinkles,
though not so many to count
I would have thought at my age,
I'd have a larger amount.
It left me feeling quite chuffed
that I was ageing so well.
My hair still being light blonde,
I felt pride starting to swell.
Then taking a final glance,
at the reflection I bore.
I was quite shattered to see
it wasn't the same as before.
I'd put on reading glasses,
a shock for me was in store
the image now had altered,
showed my age of eighty four.
Wrinkles had covered my face,
my skin not smooth as before
brown spots were in abundance
too many, I couldn't ignore.
My hair no longer was blonde,
it turned white as driven snow.
I removed my reading glasses,
to stop this pitiful show.
I then rushed to the optician,
explained what was needed to do
I wanted rose-coloured glasses
to definitely change the view.
Receiving rose-coloured glasses,
they quickly improved the sight,
so when I look in the mirror,
my reflection's one of delight.
Copyright © Vivien Wade March 2018.
Limerick multiplication : Once an optimistic Optician
for Elodie
Once an optimistic Optician
Looked deep into her Client’s vision
Saw worlds unknown to her
And lost her way back here
Client left her in utter confusion
or
Client left but stark pessimism
or
Now straddles acute astigmatism
or
Now suffers from divided attention
or
Now has gone on a mystic mission
or
Optician and Client in mutation
or
Now both revel in sacred damnation
or
Client made Optician eye donation
or
Now both sell eye-drops in collusion
or
Now Client gives Optician eye lotion
or
Now Client gives lessons in eye motion
or
Optician gives Client sole solution
or
Client then rubs Optician in the shin
or
Optician then throws Client in the bin.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013