Long Not convinced Poems
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A childhood memory, i vividly remember...
I was detected with blood cancer, doctor told I will not live for more than 6 months.
That day we all cried like I had actually died
It was the toughest period of my life
I would have nightmares of death coming to pick me up
I remember telling my parents to adopt a child
Not to cry
I died thousand death's every day
I asked again and again why me?
I wanted to live
I was good in studies
I want to make my parents proud
After eight months of ordeal I was finally cured
It was the happiest day of my life.
Doctors said it was a miracle
Back home from hospital, I was confused
It was my board exams only one month was left
(Board exams are very crucial in India for career)
We met principal she had everything ready,
she said "you are intelligent. I am confident you will shine
Remember when you study with absolute concentration without thinking of anything especially results miracles happen"
I was not convinced.
Mother gently told me result is not in your hands don't think of it.
But this one month is in your hands work with concentration,
Follow what principal said, have no thoughts except the lesson in front.
'You mean thoughtless absolute concentration?" I reconfirmed
"Yes" she nodded.
I did as she told, worked hard,
Wrote my exams without any thoughts, tension, expectation
I got 82%! School Topper.
I was beyond myself with joy, frankly pleasantly surprised.
I met my principal, she smiled and said " If you work with absolute concentration miracles happen. Now you believe?"
I nodded. " You were right Man."
A valuable lesson was learnt that day.
Date: 7/31/2020
4th position
If I have the time I'll write a letter old fashioned and serene
Hand crafted silk coated paper from my smouldering memory box
Let time stand still switch of the phone and turn back the clocks
Caress my pen and stroke the message to give it some sheen
As if on its own the quill releases memory gaps at the court of kin
Scratches the bottom of an ink pot in weary calligraphed weeping
Pauses for smudged words and tackles guilt which was sleeping
Uncensored and honest it resists to crumble the pages into the bin
Sentences assemble under an onslaught of consciousness' streams
Clouds of doubt loom large and write over the margin at both sides
Why on earth did we have to argue so much in belligerent nights
Until exhaustion won the battle of opinions and unfulfilled dreams
I'm not convinced any longer we strove for truth decisive and brave
Egos hindered a more peaceful exchange of generational disputes
Grounded in self-righteousness that poisoned love at vulnerable roots
Today I mourn those wasted moments and post an apology to your grave
26th December 2019
Heaven sent
Stars tell a story, they’re beginning to talk.
Let’s leave them to their dancing and go for a walk.
Sunlight doesn’t shine like diamonds, but stars do.
Life is a fable and it’s packing a punch.
Let’s hide away so they can’t find us,
And then I can be yours, my love.
Walked over deserts just to meet you this time.
Travelled the oceans and flew all of the skies.
I was always trying to find you.
I found you; you found me.
You’ve kissed all the frogs; let me become your Prince.
I am for certain, whilst you’re not convinced.
All things change and there is a better way,
I promise you and I mean it.
Let’s grow old together and remember the love.
Beating hearts never collided as fast as us.
You are a lightning bolt and you’ve struck me.
I wish you’d been convinced, yours…Your Prince.
If Heaven is there, I wanna go there with you.
I want to lift you up when you’ve got the blues.
B.B. doesn’t sing like Aa,
But baby, let’s do it my way.
This ring is the end of my search for love.
You are the way and in you I trust.
100 percent you are Heaven sent.
My God-send, my journey’s end,
With you I am God-Blessed.
(C)2021 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Form:
A TIME FOR US
I loved her more than any girl
I saw before or since.
I wanted us to marry
But she was not convinced.
She told me we were much too young
And, although we might one day,
She was off to university
Two hundred miles away.
There will be a time for us,
She promised at the station,
As she climbed aboard and left me
To three years of frustration.
But, at the university,
She discovered boys galore;
Far more than our village
That had only three or four.
She met an undergraduate
Who swept her off her feet
And, on the day she married him,
My misery was complete.
And so there was no time for us;
I’d read the signs all wrong.
I don’t watch West Side Story now
Because of that haunting song
The vacant house in the woods
Rumored to be haunted and cursed
Many try to find it to rob its goods
A house thought to have an evil thirst
Two teenage boys disappeared years ago
Lost in the woods near the dilapidated place
They left one late night so no one would know
Searches found nothing but reports of a ghostly face
No one has been able to find the house since
There was a forest fire after the boys were gone
People searched for remnants not convinced
Rumored it was recently seen lit up before dawn
The locals tell you to stay away from those woods
They believe an evil force lurks there and awaits
No one has lived to tell or show any of the goods
For those who want to pursue it are temping their fates
6/20/2020
Contest: Abandoned
Sponsor: Dear Heart
As usual I have a lot to say, but for your sake I’ll try to be brief.
I know, I bring at least a smile to all your faces when I walk into
the room after all no one has ever accused me of not being able to
make an entrance, but at least I make the effort to enter.
When I speak, I know it is difficult for you to understand me.
I see the faces of confusion in the room and I sense your impatience.
You may be surprised to learn that over the years,
I have acquired a knack for recognizing these things in people.
I don’t mind you poking fun at me when I talk too long.
As you know, I do get a little carried away sometimes,
but at least I have something to say and the courage to say it.
I don’t blame you for getting tired of hearing me.
I get tired of hearing myself sometimes,
but unlike you I don’t have the option of turning away.
Some people look at me and see a handicapped person,
others may see me as being physically challenged.
Frankly, I’m not convinced of either description.
Yes, every day does pose new hurdles for me,
but with an unyielding desire to make a contribution to
and play my small role in the greater society
I think I challenge the day.
My mere presents makes each of you
aware of your own boundless potential
by constantly posing the question:
“Why can’t I....?”
He said “I am bad”. I laughed, not seeing any bad at all.
Tried to get him to prove it. He couldn’t.
I reworked him. Replenished him. Reminded him
Of all the good I had seen from him.
He helped the little ones find the gym yesterday.
He lifted another little one up to take a drink in the fountain.
I was glad I had seen this. Thank God I had.
He was not convinced. Irritated with me.
Called me names. Said he did not want to be my friend.
I laughed. Knowing he would be back.
He always comes to me. He knows the truth.
He knows he is good. But it is difficult to think about
When your mother is saying how bad you are
Because you look like the man who raped her.
Saw “The Sniper.” Marveled at
The way it did reveal
The brutal truth the soldiers faced
And how it seemed so real.
The bombed-out buildings, guns and tanks,
The blood, the gore, the sweat –
Each detail rendered perfectly,
A work of genius – yet…
The only scene that got it wrong
Surprised me to no end,
When actors with a new-born baby
Struggled to pretend
The doll that they were holding
Was a living, breathing soul.
I wonder how they managed
To exert such self-control.
The audience was not convinced;
That “baby” looked so fake.
Clint Eastwood, the director,
Clearly made a huge mistake.
Though all the war scenes were the most
Realistic you can find,
That phony stand-in baby doll
Completely blew my mind.
empty words without meaning
words mumbled for mere formality
lost in rolling endless echoes
we understand the game
and agree it's nothing personal
just filler to mask the silence that besets us
so we erect tall fences, add padlocks
and answer the knock of only the rare few
we keep it formal so not to muddy waters
how do you do? is not a question
our fine means I don’t want to talk
or I’m not convinced you care
don’t you see how we’ve become blasé
or maybe just maybe we need to better
recognize those pauses of genuine concern
so a how do you feel? becomes
a how do you feel about me?
because I care and we can be friends
AP: Honorable Mention 2023, Honorable Mention 2023
The lies I tell myself to get through the day,
The illusion of control,
Graciously ashamed,
I love you,
I tell you,
I need you,
I say,
My introverted exterior needs it’s ego caressed,
Where are we I wonder day after day,
Watching the seconds slip away
Every choice I make I tell myself is for you,
Each one strips another feather front my wings,
How long before I can no longer fly away.
But I love you,
I tell you,
Or am I really telling me,
Maybe I should let it burn,
Deep down I know I would survive the fire,
I always do,
But I love you,
Don’t I ?
What even is this I start to wonder,
I don’t even know who I am anymore.
The illusion falters,
Those moments of questioned panic appear,
Why am I here,
Do you even love me,
I’ve been so busy trying to love you,
I never stopped to ask,
My face hurts from wearing this mask.
If I remove my disguise and step from the flames,
Allow myself to be whole,
Im not sure if anyone would love my soul ?
But I love you,
I tell you,
Your eyes stare back,
For a second I freeze,
Waiting for the mirror to crack,
Looking at myself,
Not convinced that’s its me,
If only my reflection was free.