Long Mortifying Poems
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May 28 Relationship to God Bible Meditations Based on Psalms 38-42
Key Verse – Psalm 38:1 A Psalm of David, to bring to remembrance. O LORD, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
LORD GOD, YOU ARE MY SIN REBUKER
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my disciplinary chastening
Thank You for making me repentant of my pride and corruption-pining---
My Creator, please forgive my iniquities that cause my mourning
May I always desire Your presence midst my affliction-groaning.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my reproofs toward maturity
Thank You for molding me to grow along Your Word’s authority---
My Teacher, please continue to instruct my heart to learn with humility
May I always seek Your wisdom of perfect certainty.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my testimony’s building
Thank You for measuring me of my frailty to follow Your guiding---
My Saviour, please cheer up my spirit by Your constant upholding
May I always rejoice in Your redemption with gladness You are sending.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my daily patience
Thank You for moving me out from miry clay of guilty conscience---
My Master, please lead my steps toward Your wondrous will’s magnificence
May I always delight in Your lovingkindness of gracious iridescence.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my righteous living
Thank You for melting me against worldliness by Your holy preserving---
My Ruler, propel my commitment for Your ministry along prayerful driving
May I always depend on Your power since to Your strength I’m cleaving.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my blessed victory
Thank You for mortifying me from evil deeds to conquer wickedness’ injury---
My King, please raise my devotion to triumph in Your glory
May I always enjoy sharing Your biblical Gospel story.
Lord God, You are my sin Rebuker for my worshipful praising
Thank You for meeting me whenever my hope in You seems to be losing---
My Friend, please hear my supplications against unbelief’s oppressing
May I always trust in Your assurance which is surely a great blessing.
May 28, 2023
Line of inquiry:
“betwixt the pulse of our heartbeat
simply present, head-heart linking
dwelling in time stretched blissful peace
awareness became unblinking
Animating Innate Vibrance
Open and shut, constant change
He’s on His throne, He’s off
My heartbeat says otherwise
My mortifying act of anamorphic shame
He says, “Sit still.”
He says, “Know that I Am…”
When I clear my head
not of everything
but when I sit in place
with only the inside and outside
universe; not without sound
I would be dead, without the sense
I’ve been given. I’m holding hands
with my own heart, quietly kissing
the peace, which I, all too often,
want to run from and to what…
How much time can I take
five or ten
minutes that I want to spend
elsewhere
but this is what I need. He
knows; the exploration time
spent in meditative prayer
pays higher dividends
Oh what I see
when I truly open my eyes
high beams highlighting,
sculpting, silhouette-sitting,
the unknown takes shape
The aha transforms. One
never forgets
when floored
with answers that transform
Accursed human species
case in point Vladimir Putin,
who strikes terror across globe.
Don't underestimate his hell bent
zeal to attack United States,
one blood sucking infernal
predacious *****sapien
mercilessly bullies, interrogates,
threatens... with zeal.
Considerably less mortifying
constitutes wrathful ordeals
exhibited by adults who treat
thine wife with indecorous jibes
like punks who sat back of bus
or classmates at Methacton
High School, mine alma mater.
No different than typical mean kids
many crotchety residents here
Highland Manor Apartments
majority residents aggrieve the missus
though said counterpart (thee spouse)
exudes standoffish poise
countenance dons and
nonverbally trumpets scowl
body language broadcasts
social graces be damned
easily interpreted as snub
engendering hostile imprecations
cruelly fiendish provocations
undermine capacity to experience
peace of mind
exacerbated by her
figurative cold shoulder
propensity to flip the bird
notched, ratcheted, torqued... tension
courtesy miss prissy heiress,
daughter, she secured management role
albeit (hats off) to nepotism
guarantees lifelong job security
issued thee missus warning
rental stipulation disallows
overt middle finger flashing signal
emotional entanglement ensued
yours truly tasked
to pursue more favorable environment,
yet scant finances (mine)
and poor credit
two strikes against
locating affordable living situation
since sole family income
social security disability
direct deposited monthly
buzzfeeding checking account
regularly near anorexic,
cuz additionally I pay
costs of living expenses
cole king avoiding being homeless,
thus this penniless
among dime a dozen
day late dollar short
low income bracketed
(marching with madness)
mister casts quandary
couched as poetry,
no great expectations,
nonetheless cathartic to communicate
(hoop fully understandable)
present tense plight
projected as plotted trend
fat and/or slim chance
fate will curse me as lottery winner
pipe dream teasing
this word plumber flush with ire,
who feels nsync and drained
scraping hand to mouth
bemoaning apathy, dismal
effort, gross indifference
toward self sums (mein kampf)
plus academic struggles
proffers grim forecast
as coxswain at mercy
rudderless ship of state
edges closer to his waterloo.
My son collected baseball cards;
My brothers did, as well.
My Beatles card collection
Was the female parallel.
But there’s an opportunity
For everyone to buy –
Although it’s hard to understand
A decent reason why –
Some trading cards that feature Trump
In poses quite bizarre –
An astronaut, a cowboy
And the weirdest one so far –
A superhero with a body
So unlike Trump’s own,
It would be quite ridiculous,
But somehow it is known
That people buy them!
Shelling out, for every NFT,
Enough to question what’s become
Of each one’s sanity.
How low can one man really sink
To hawk himself this way?
It’s mortifying to confront
Such ego on display.
We decided to be elegant
Have breakfast outside on the veranda
A gorgeous Florida day
Where is mom?
Our mother asked.
No one knew.
What is a toaster doing on the table?
Daddy asked.
No one knew.
Where is grandma? I asked.
Maybe she overslept, Mom said.
Dad said, “As if we could be that lucky!”
Grandma had kind of invited herself.
She is a big nut and keeps us happy.
We three kids love it that she came.
“Hey! What’s this?” My six-year-old brother asked.
A sign that said, “push me!”
He pushed the down lever.
Grandma came popping out of the toaster
Once again delighting us kids
And mortifying our parents.
Best trick ever!
Revelations about Dad’s infamous midnight lectures...
woke up courtesy therapy
Especially during past session
on May eighth
two thousand twenty one
between the hours of five and
six o'clock post meridiem.
Between three and four score years ago
the following poetic ill winds did blow
yours truly felt like carrion
repurposed courtesy black crow
decimated to bajillion pieces
analogous to deaf eat, viz bitter foe
where within bared mine soul
telltale toxin did glow
yes dear reader cumulative wrath – hello
synopsis I invite thee to know
why self esteem within me so low
lackluster love life accentuated
cuz yours truly
never kissed under mistletoe
Dreadful homelife upon
exiting early adolescence
no bed of roses parental
wrath did commence
me (especially after
graduating bottom 1%)
scorned as among lowlife
versus being among
productive vested gents
I withstood blistering, mortifying
withering howling offense
yours truly uttered nary a peep.
I dreaded every malevolent utterance
when father requested he speak
not about some choice topic dejure
brought a twinkle to my eye,
but that all to familiar monologue
finding me standing like stone wall
hearing, tuning out with equally
predictable trademark demurely meek
pose with hands crossed against
chest of the then easily intimidated guy
despite feeling effects of utter ennui
and fatigue attempted to stand tall
against the tsunami verbal typhoon
itching to drown out said battle creek
when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst?
looked blankly at floor well nigh
or pretended to stare at something extreme
fascinating on the kitchen wall
for he may as well asked if I understand
in an unfamiliar language such as Greek
most likely getting successful results
yammering away at common house fly
possibly seething inside (p’raps
equally swatted) ready to lash out into a brawl
held back by fear plus
in comparison to me pop –
just a itty bitty pipsqueak,
who felt onrushing and overpowering
desire to collapse and cry
compounded by growing urge
to urinate from that natural urethral call
spoke nada word, nor gave hint
of hearing from loathsome blather that did reek
like decomposition of fetid of dead
living entity that began to putrefy
which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus
under warm blankets to crawl!
They were nearing LaGuardia Airport when the pilot felt a sudden urge.
He told the copilot to grab the yoke saying his bladder he must purge!
He left the cockpit and wended his way to the lavatory in the rear.
Thus, a series of events unfolded, some of which remain quite unclear!
Things 'flowed' along nicely until the pilot attempted to exit the john!
Alas, the door was jammed and he mused, "Is someone putting me on?"
When he tried to escape from his predicament he discovered a catch;
He was alarmed to find that the doggone door had a defective latch!
In the cockpit the copilot was growing very uneasy about their plight.
The tower called to say they were 50 miles out and were cleared to alight!
To add to his consternation, some jerk was pounding on the cockpit door,
Yelling with a foreign accent - a serious situation he dare not ignore!
The tower operator, just to be certain there would be no later regrets,
Wisely called the Air Force and they alerted a squadron of their jets!
The copilot proffered a prayer saying, "Lord, have mercy on us please!
Help, Lord! Landing this bird alone will test my fortitude and expertise!"
In the meantime good Samaritans helped the pilot to escape his cell!
He scampered to the cockpit to take charge and all turned out well!
This mortifying escapade will be long remembered in airline lore,
About the pilot whose wings were clipped by a faulty lavatory door!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
(Based on an actual incident that occured on a flight from Asheville, NC
to LaGuardia Airport, 16 Nov 2011. Written with just a tad of embel-
lishment!)
The future now seemed to be so dark and bleak
Why, always had she been one, in love, so weak
Always had she surrendered
Always had she adhered
Yet, it had come with no surprise
That, as from then, no more was she to be a prize
Even if, being a Goddess
She had been with beauty, blessed
Love had chosen not her side
Love had willed her to be as she wants to
That she needed no more to abide
That, now she was free to meet with the new
Heart broken, she had hidden her tears
Pain stricken, she had given in to her fears
Pretending to be stoic and strong
She had chosen to leave his throng
Now, away from the one whom she had loved for so long
She vowed to perform, always, for his sake, a sad love song
Even if such would never reach his soul
For around himself, he had built, a strong wall
One made of sensual pleasures
One made of quenched desires
One which included not her being
One which was for her, mortifying!
Still, she would love, even if in total solitude
She would love and she would keep herself prude
Her heart and soul was one so pure
In her abandoned love only did she feel so secure
Pray, she was also laden with hope
Should she someday need to forgive
To the building of a new tomorrow she would grope
For after all, being out of love did cause her to grieve
She believed in her lover's good intentions
She knew, in him, somehow, an angel slept
She would wait, in darkness, for both of their redemptions
Such, she knew would be, when Cupid's doze would be disrupt!
Meanwhile, she shall water the rose in her heart
The rose which had been a token of their love
The rose, whose tending remained a must
As it would be that which would keep her brave!
For Contest Fallen Angel
Written on 5th August 2017
I hope you’re safe in my arms of pure devotion
I cope with these emotions, so cross the ocean
You’re so unique, so fine, despite that you’re
Beneath the desires of your kind, gentle heart
Change is a challenging chore all the more
And the fires within you will not break you apart
Help me heal
Help me feel
Hope I don’t fail
Hope I can sail
These roaring seas of woeful, maximum sorrow
A million miles away from cheery tomorrow
Help me heal
Help me feel
Away from this…pain…
Feel my way out of the rain
Torrents of you roam inside me, me, me
Laments add up and won’t let me be
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine…wish you were mine
You’re so fine…like sugar and wine
No matter what, radiant shine will be with you and I
That, I cannot deny
I’m a fretful flame that burns on, churns on
Radiant shine originates from the precious dawn
On and on, the oceans between us has built us stronger
You’re braver than a thousand men — you are no longer
Alone in your shell of darkness
You are radiant shine regardless
I am just a fossil within my soul,
Wishing that I had shine so beautiful
I am just an amber in the flame,
Burning away the mortifying shame
Help me heal
Help me feel
Hope I don’t fail
Hope I can sail
These roaring seas of woeful, maximum sorrow
A million miles away from cheery tomorrow
Help me heal
Help me feel
Away from this…pain…
Feel my way out of the rain
Torrents of you roam inside me, me, me
Laments add up and won’t let me be
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine…wish you were mine
You’re so fine…like sugar and wine
No matter what, radiant shine will be with you and I
That, I cannot deny
Torrents of you roam inside me, me, me
Laments add up and won’t let me be
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine is what will set me free
Radiant shine…wish you were mine
You’re so fine…like sugar and wine
No matter what, radiant shine will be with you and I
I wouldn’t dare lie
Your radiant shine, your radiance is mine
From on high, on high
Wish you were my radiant shine design
This bewildering computer of mine just gives me fits!
I panic when the consarned thing goes on the fritz!
I peruse the baffling manual but that doesn't help me any.
It might as well have been written in Hindustani!
There is no one more computer illiterate than I,
So I must call that guy in India when things go awry!
He patiently checks for spyware and virus infections,
And tests the modem and internet connections.
Today he found no problems during his troubleshoot.
He suggested that I shut down and try to reboot!
As a parting shot he asked if my cursor was working alright;
I reached for the mouse to check - it was nowhere in sight!
At that mortifying discovery I gently hung up the phone.
Consternation reigned - how much more can I condone!
The frayed mouse tail lay there looking so grotesque.
I looked for the mouse on the floor and all about my desk!
Alas, nothing to do but buy another for it to replace.
But wait! Why that Cheshire smile on my pussy cat's face?
"Aha! I think the mystery is solved!" I exclaim to my spouse!
"I think that sneaky scoundrel has swallowed my mouse!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)