Long Honest Poems

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~ (~) ~ Answering Hate (Part #1 of 5) ~ (~) ~

Thank you so much for your honesty friend. I paused and took some time with your
statements to me to ponder on it. Yes I have these problems that are always rising up
within me from time to time. The truth is I believe that I need all the help that I can
get. Because my soul is tortured as well by them. I'm glad you were patient enough to read
anyway. Takes a lot of strength and courage to be as honest as you have been, I appreciate
it. It reminded me, that relying on myself alone, and remaining alone with these things
makes it all the more harder for me to remain honest with myself. As you have so plainly
been with me so again I thank you. I just get so afraid sometimes to be this way. But I
feel that honestly it is a true strength that you have. You I feel are truly blessed.
Gifted with this boldness of heart. You carry it well. I feel it is the most precious and
there is no truer strength lying within you. If I were you, well I would feel blessed and
encouraged by it truly... . As for what was stated in the writing it was for me a simple
message. 

Though I can tell you myself it made my belly uncomfortable too. When I heard... saw it
for myself for the first time. Made me cry... . Because I truly don't want myself to feel
it anymore than is necessary, being reminded today what it truly means to be like this. As
I considered and still keep trying to grow to know through it how I have in turn been
brought to yield it myself every time I saw for myself my own hate. You know it makes me
more and even more afraid. Because I've been like this in one form or the other my whole
life. I probably always will be without some help, I figure that when I heard this message
first, it rose within me in this greater form. I didn't like it either at all. Made me run
to something more though and today I am feeling a little, sometimes quite better the more
I am moved away from it. Because I also found that for myself, I wanted more than just
this hate and living alone with it. And through hearing the truth of it, I knew that I
alone could not stop it from rising up from within me... . 

Because I don't truly enjoy feeling sick to my tummy like this. It has been for me this
way for a long time and I am finding that it can in its reality surely kill me, because
for myself I let it consume me. 





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnKoAEs65Pg
© James Long  Create an image from this poem.


Dream Collection 3 and a Real Life Experience Friends

Dreaming shows you many hidden things in your mind; it opens you to alternative thinking…
What are friends? Are friends someone you can trust? What is trust? What is trusting? I've always asked myself this, but never really answered it... Friends are always something I have struggled with.

How does someone become your friend? Is it an unspoken thing? A mutual agreement? A strive to be popular? Or is it a feeling that everyone has?

Throughout my elementary years I had 6 friends. Brandon, Mattia, Isaac, Matthew, and 2 girls, Emily and Sydney. When I hit 5th grade, Isaac, who was my best friend, moved away.

I had one big problem, people who I saw as friends, weren't really friends. There were a lot of things said behind my back and people would use me as a fall guy.
Onto my dream...
My dreams as a kid, before I trained myself to lucidly dream, were, as far as I knew, real. And to be honest, for the most part I don't know what was a dream and what wasn't... 

I remember the new "cool" game to play was ZAP... If you don't know what zap is it is pretty much you put a name on a  hand and a time and they can't look at it until that time or they must ask them out. This also happened to be the time the term "gay" had hit my school, so I had a guys name written on my hand. So once I found out what it was I went and washed it all off. so as we went back in class everyone who fell to peer pressure which was pretty much everyone but me got in trouble.

Now I told the teacher I had it at one time but I washed it off at lunch because Iw anted to be honest.... She just said that was the right thing to do.... But everyone started laughing at my calling me gay and such because it was a guys name... So when asked who satarted it someone said ask the gay kid.... Well of course I got blamed with it so I was sent to the principal with not one, but two reasons to be in trouble... I woke... got ready for school, and as I was getting to school guess what I saw? A new friend, and its name was Zap.....

What is a true friend? Is it someone who will stand for you? Someone who is always there? Do you have a true friend? Do you trust that person? Now answer that again, do you really? Ask yourself a third time, how do you really know they are your friend?

P.S. Thank you all for all the support, I have really appreciated all the positive feedback on my work... Jarrod D.~

Premium Member When I Give You My Heart

When I Give You My Heart…

The love I give to you dear one,
Is love I know belongs to me,
To think that it is yours alone
Is adolescent fantasy.

For if this love weren’t really mine
How could it then be mine to give?
If heart is always True Love’s home,
Without a heart how could I live?

It may not bring you comfort love
And you may never feel secure,
But dreams my heart is only yours,
Reveal a heart that’s immature.

For you to tell me that’s your gift,
Suggests that you’re naïve at best,
For even if you think it’s true,
The emperor is still undressed!*

At least most men aren’t made that way,
Our futures never are for sure.
And pleasures taken while we can
While praying there might be a cure.
 
A sick child cause our love to end,
Even our jobs drive us apart,
Though no one plans on stuff like this,
It spells disaster for the heart.

A partner that decides they’re gay,
Somehow an accidental death,
The day your spouse does not come home,
The world can take away your breath.

So when I ‘just’ give you my love
Please check your heart to know it’s true
And realize that lover’s chose,
It’s really all that one can do.

A witches spell, a chain of fire
Cannot restrain decay to dust,
A lifetime all we have to live,
Where good days start with hope and trust.

Brian Johnston
August 29, 2014

Poet's Notes:

* ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ – A tale by Hans Christian Anderson about two weavers who promise an Emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent. When the Emperor parades before his subjects in his new clothes, a child cries out, "But he isn't wearing anything at all!" The tale has been translated into over a hundred languages. From ‘Wikipedia.'

Few go into a relationship with the expectation of love not lasting a lifetime, and yet we all know our relationship too will end, sooner or later, hopefully the latter. The time spent may be quality time or more of a learning experience, usually a mixture of both. But nothing can totally prepare us for the future except to be honest with ourselves and to admit, we are not really in control. That understanding can make things easier for those able to embrace it. Failure may always be failure, but being able and willing to forgive, to love yourself too, is the only path to future happiness in my experience.
Form: Rhyme

The Dream Snatcher

One night, I heard a creaking sound,
Opened my eyes- nothing was found.
But I felt dizzy the next day;
Something had been taken away.
I got up, sat to have some toast,
Daydream about all I love most;
I tried to dream with all my might
But realized something wasn't right.
No dreams would come into my head,
My dream ability was DEAD.
I told my friend about my plight,
And the strange creaking in the night.
He shook his head with great dismay,
'The Dream-Snatcher's been round your way.'
'The Dream-Snatcher? Not heard of him!' 
'Prepare for a story most grim.
He has no shape, cannot be seen
And does something so very mean,
Creeps in at night, and through your ear,
Sucks out your dreams, and blows in FEAR!
You then can't dream when you've awaken,
With no clue of what's been taken.
Instead of dreams, you're left with DOUBT,
Once that's in, it's hard to get out!'
'What do I do?' I cried in shock,
'How do I stop this dreaming block?'
My friend replied 'We must begin
By not allowing doubt to WIN.
In order to keep him at bay,
You must shout "DOUBT! Please go away!
I want to dream! I want to hope!
I believe there is an endless scope
To what I can do and achieve,
All I have to do is BELIEVE!"'.
I copied this, with one last shout:
'NO ROOM FOR YOU IN MY LIFE, DOUBT!'
'Good' said my friend, 'now tell me WHY
You can now bid this doubt goodbye.'
'Because I'm ambitious and smart,
Because I have an honest heart,
There's nothing standing in my way,
I have one life- let's seize the day!'
I felt a tingle in my brain
And in my heart- was I insane?
My friend said 'By your flushed red cheek
I see DOUBT's started to feel weak!'
'But,' I said, 'what if I fail?'
'FAIL's a word you EXHALE
Out of your head, out of your life,
Believing that word ends in strife.
Passion and the will to succeed
Are the two things in life you need.'
My heart began to tingle more
In a way it hadn't before,
'Wow!' said my friend, 'look at your face!
It's red! It's smiling! Now there's space
Where doubt once was, for DREAMS instead!
Dream away, pretty, fill your head!'
If a Dream-Snatcher comes tonight
To snatch your hopes right out of sight,
There's a friend who sometimes seems shy
But when you need him, is close-by,
called CONFIDENCE- Conny for short,
I'll leave you with this final thought-
Dream BIG, dream with limitless height-
Meet that Dream-Snatcher with a fight
When he comes for your dreams tonight.
Form: Rhyme

No One Gets Out Alive

Though (supposedly) only
     the good die young, urn holding
     cremated ashes a mere cup
full, every last man standing falls,
     cuz nobody else
     escapes un pup
yule lore blitzkrieg, 
     or aging gracefully,

     the unavoidable eventual fate,
     (mortal fateful demise),
     sans the remaining unsung
anonymous peoples meet up
with the grim reaper,
     who will ineluctably disrupt
the carryings on
     with each and every individual

     (non plus ultra all other
     life forms as well)
     gradually or with abrupt,
and unannounced debut
     scythe lent lee appearing
     to whisk away the
     honest and/or corrupt
whether taking their

     first meal of the day,
     and/or last sup
per, perhaps sitting quietly,
     when body electric
     amp pare rent lee
     receives ohm 
     my word fatal invite,
     whereat permanent shocking

     quiescence doth, sans
     stealth maneuver erupt
tragically, indiscriminately, 
     and blithely
     mowing down innocent civilians,
     and/or training fate squarely
     upon heads of soldiers
     life during wartime,

where opposing armies regale
     while marching men go hup...
to three fore (akin
     to a story field day),
     winning booby prize, viz
counting on qua,
     asper winning lottery
     and/or Stanley Cup

major blood bath rendered
     significant counting coup
whereat each opposing fighting
     force figuratively doth slew
the other, analogously dost defeat
making mince meat
re: as uniformed brigades in heat
of wanton killing

     fields sliced minced,
     chopped nada so vary neat,
via stealth unable dupe, nor cheat
death be not proud,
     et cetera, nonetheless,
     grimly forced to greet
     a bonanza coup won,
     only tubby beat

tin to pulp by adept
     skull and excellent fleet
of foot (top
     notch crafted) sweet
(albeit) temporary victory
     tasting said treat
assailing, bruiting , and/or
     weathering stance versus

     alternating between defensive
     and/or offensive
     use of cross bones,
     in a hail of bullets
     instantaneously didst greet
fast and furious i.e. suffering

     deadly raking har row
ring slaughter, an entire
     phalanx gone, where
     (metaphorical terrible swift sword)
no uniformed fighter
     can never call retreat.


Just the Way It Was

‘Twas way back in them days 
when the ranch owner’s ways
was just about the only law there was around

Rancher’s money was king
and gun violence reigned
till marshal Ben Miller made his way into town

Well that town was real rough
till Ben said ‘twas enough
that’s when he used his guns to bring law to the street

But there's always that one 
thinks he's fast with his gun
would soon find himself face down covered with a sheet 

For the next twenty years 
Ben had kept the streets clear
of any no-gooders that might drift into town

Then folks started to say 
Ben was showing some gray
maybe his old age had started to slow him down

The councilmen all met
said it is with regret
that we tell you it's time for you to settle down

They baked him a nice cake
a few speeches they'd make
and introduced him to the new marshal in town
 
Town folk gathered and cheered 
told him how twenty years
was a long time to stay on this side of the grave

Ben took a look around 
rode his horse outta town
with his new gold watch and the few dollars he'd saved

That is often the way 
a cowboy's life got played
long ago when the country was still just a pup

When a trusted hired hand 
gave his life for the brand
honest and loyal was the way he was raised up

If you think this is sad 
or Ben's life turned out bad
well then this might be a little good news for you

Was the very next week 
Men lay dead in the street
they had robbed the bank and stole the mayor's horse too

When they tried to get Ben 
to come marshal again
sure don't take no book smarts to know how he replied

Well, he asked widow Jones 
if she'd like to go along
and off to the wide open Montana they'd ride
 
Was a day in March when 
Jasmine married old Ben
Though they had only been courtin' about a year

Said they was gonna go 
where the tall grasses grow
gonna try their hand raisin a few cows and steers

Well they made it alright 
through frozen winter nights
mostly cause they hadn't built up much of a herd

When the next spring turned mild 
it brought both calves and child
after that first year their ranchin' blood had been stirred

It’s been thirty years since 
granpap left Defiance
now I stop alongside his grave near' every day

I watch over his spread 
more than five thousand head
as they grow fat right here on the Rockin’ Bar J
Form: Rhyme

Self Reflection Part 2

So I sit here and self reflect going through the lessons I was taught and forced to 
spit out the right answers I disagreed with and now have the chance to say Hitler 
was the victim
and in Vietnam there was no hero but a cleansing of getting rid of thousand of 
serial killers desperate for the love of an abusive god they didn’t know how to 
stand up against who wanted someone to blame
 When we write the next history book of lies about today’s liars and propaganda 
and confusion
And if I could sneak into the history pages
What lessons would I try to teach the students of a continent to say you don’t 
have to have church in school for there to be a god 
Look at me look at me
Figure out my riddle
If you’re that brave but write down the wrong answer or you’re in trouble
And then wait to find like-minded individuals

What lesson would I teach the world using all of the world’s actors?
Me as everybody’s fool
So the spiritually impoverished could study one chapter of history and walk away
with their hands full of gems and spiritual crowns and realize
they now have a test of psychology to figure out all the pieces of their world
to under stand the script we have written for them
and who amongst them are false and true prophets either playing along or who 
knows what domino is going to catastrophically going to fall

What’s the perfect act for my actors with me to carry them into history?
If I could just sneak in
But how do I get in there?
How do I show them history doesn’t care if you’re skinny or fat?
Ugly or beautiful
Stupid or smart

Do I care what essays the might write about me in the future if I was to make it in 
comparison to our politicians
Would there be a whole course in school called figuring out the world’s scripts 
101

I could change the world if you let me
And in all honest as I protest some things here and there
You are another domino
and a piece of my claim to my fame
and maybe one day it will be someone else
but 27 years of serenading me and stealing my dreams
Id rather have lived my hell on earth for a reason of where vie cried for the world
and had the confusion as to why my names are songs to be for good
then to be jealous of a man who spent three days in my shoes and was crucified
for trying to live a lie
But ignorance is bliss

Premium Member pink hair and motorcycles

you remember that one time when ava fell off the swings and cut her knee?
how everyone laughed at her for her childish hubris in thinking she could jump and land,
unscathed, from that high a distance?
how the laughter roared as they watched a 9-year-old cry
and clutch her knee with both hands,
creating a burrow for blood under her nails?
how, without a moment of hesitation,
you ran to her, helped her up, and walked her to the nurse’s office?

yeah. didn’t think you’d remember it, if i’m being totally honest.
well, that moment, watching you put her arm around your shoulder for balance,
so she could hop her way down a flight and half of stairs for a single band-aid,
i think I fell in love with you.
maybe love is an exaggeration,
but looking at these old photos of us,
with your hair flying in the wind and my hair tucked in your helmet
as i clutched your waist for dear life,
the two of us,
flying down the freeway on your motorcycle,
i can’t think of a better word to describe my feelings for you.

these pictures,
now covered in layers of dust,
remind me of everything that could have been.
of everything that will never be.
i lost you so many addictions ago,
i guess i should’ve known when your words turned to lies,

and your lies turned to routine,
but i didn’t want to believe that the girl
with the bright pink hair and tacky leather jackets,
the girl that i had fallen so hard for,
was now gone.
that she had been replaced with someone who simply
went through the motions every day,
no longer able to feel anything for anyone,
someone who looked in the mirror,
wishing that the reflection would be blank.

the doctors say that your liver gave out,
but i think that the real cause was that you gave up.
i saw how hard you fought,
how you ran away from who you’d become,
leaving us behind in a race to find yourself.
you were gone long before the red line representing your heart’s last efforts flattened.
you’ve been gone so long that i’ve had to rely on these pictures
to make sure that you were ever real.
you’ve become nothing but a memory,
a hope, a wish for better,
a tragic story that i wish i never was a part of.

i miss you,
more than you could ever know,
more than i can ever process.
i miss you because no matter what happened,
no matter where you went,
no matter how long you’ve been gone,
i still loved you.
© Oliver Chu  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Sing His Song


Eternal buzz of voices, heard by the wind
Stilling the music of yesterday,
Reassuring the soul has a friend
Breathless music of hers and his, in amazing
Stories, poetry and senses, embracing
Kissing away the melancholic wounds, feelings
Dazed by the night who is no substitute

Inspiring colors, in whispers of light
Softly flow from yesterday throughout paradise,
Rising in blending wishes for grace and ghostlike
Psalms, blessings remembered by the fall,
When wind feels like a promise of what is meant
By gentle and honest, gratitude’s permission
To erase the past with its heavy grasp,
Warming by the fires of wonder found when
One heart discovers the meaning of a kiss…

Is it the river of feelings, flowing, knowing
That wind through the spirit, 
Awakening the music of a passion, sensations
Alluring, assuring, enthusiastic as trust
Washing the heart in grace, and feeding the feelings
Like faith who is absorbed by the way
Hearts heal when God’s love stills the spirit,
Resting His calm, like a clear pool of unforgettable,
To the tune of eternal truth, easing away the shadows,
Filling the soul with sincerity, serenity, silence

In peace, two wishes find the music that sees
Through the darkness to the destiny,
Believe, just believe, and receive what God brings
When He sends His ultimate beautiful, His music
In the seeds of lasting wonder, a muse
The feelings who grow and continue on, forever
Wiping away the tears and the fears,
All the past’s melancholy and bitterness
With light that frees the spirit, 
Considers what has been and leaves a watermark
Of what it means to be free… free at last,
Because, in God’s grasp, there comes a true freedom…

Free as the wind and the sea,
Free as the music that resonates
With a feeling that can only be stirred
By two who know, with God at the center
This wonder will continue on… forever and ever,
Love that causes the wind to vibrate, to babble
The words of a love song, a fire burning
Like the promise of everlasting – free as the knowing
Love knew, all along, love knew the song
Freeing those who simply blow their kisses
In rhythms of praise, just praise, praise the One
Who brings love it’s light, brings hope its sight,
Brings faith its everlasting fight…

Sing the song, it’s a love song – God is strong
God will sing along, because God’s love is never wrong!

A Lover's Letter - Part 3 of 4

- continued from Part 2

I Am Making More Profits
Than An Open Window Can Scope!
But More Importantly
Than Any Viable Earnings Can Invoke …
Lovely … I Am Sending Valuable-Love
… Inside This Envelope

(Isa. 54: 11, 12)
Yes, Lovely … You Are My Amethysts & Rubies
and Sapphires and Silver and Gold
and I Am The Richest Person Alive!
… If The Truth Be Told …

I Want You Ecstatically Happy
Now Surely, You Must Know
I Just Want To See Your Own
Luminous, Starry Eyes Aglow

… and Pour Drops of Soothing Oil
and Lavish-Anoint You – Head To Toe
and Smell Your Sweet, Pure Perfume
Wafting Like Incense To My Nose …

And Hold You In My Arms
and Never Let You Go
My Lovely One, I’ll Be With You Soon
Because I Love You So …

My Lovely One, You Know Me
To Be A Lover of Honor, Most Honest
The Length Between Us Is Loyal
and Getting Closer By The Moments

And You Have Your One-True-Lover’s
Word of Oath – On This (like Sacred-Sonnets)
And I Will Come For You, My Lovely One
 …  I Promise …

But The War Rages On
and Will Wage Worse Before Its Gone
But These Things I Have Told You
So You Have Always Known …

About Harsh Ways of The World
So Go Past Them, You Must Stay Strong
and True To Me ‘Til I Come
and Make Us A Brand New Home
(For To Me, Again – You’ll Belong
… Before Ere’ Too Long …
(Rev. 21: 3, 4)

But I Must Finish My Duty
and Complete My Timeline-Task
The Importance and Responsibility
For This Job Is Very Vast!

It’s For Our Future & To Make Sure
That We Will Always Last
and That No One Else Dare Repeat
Poisoned Mistakes From Prideful-Pasts

And After This … We’ll Never Again
Ungroup or Unclasp!
But Your Understanding & Agreement
Is Needed Now … That’s What I Ask …

Oh, Let My Words Kindle
Your Starry Eyes Like Flames!
Let The Fire of My Ardor
& Pure Force, Course Thru Your Veins!
(The Song of Solomon 8: 6, 7)

And Let This Letter Draw You To Me
With Unbreakable Mettle Chains!
and If You Must Whisper and Weep
Just Softly Echo My Name …
(Remember, You Agreed To Wear My Name)
(Isa. 43: 7, 10, 11 /  Acts 11: 26  /  Rom. 10: 13)

Let This Letter Be My Lips
Speaking Forth Innocence
Let This Letter Be My Lips
and Each Word A Knowing Kiss

Let This Letter Be My Voice
Telling You How You’re Loved & Missed
For Soon, We Will Be Together
As If In Celestial Bliss

I Send This Letter So It Could
Act As Your Revival
I Sent This Letter So You Could
Know I Am Reliable

(Part 3 of 4)
Form: Narrative

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