Long Hold on Poems
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There are not enough words to describe
The devotion and compassion this poet's eyes beheld.
It was a plain room arranged for safety,
comfort, and care.
A fine bantam table re-purposed with medical supplies
for any emergent unplanned surprise.
An unexpected large bed filled the back right corner of the room.
Creating a barrier for an unsteady walk.
Soft pillows surrounded a determined man,
bent over, straining to stand, wanting to rise.
Pursuing some task, he had left undone.
Desperate for freedom, confused, lost in time.
Unaware of the witnesses standing aside,
A woman gently wrapped her arms around the man.
Intertwined fingers completed a tender restraint.
Whispering, begging him to stay,
Seated beside him protecting the man.
This was a path I had walked before.
I knew it so well as I stood near the door.
Felt the terrible anguish of another parting too soon.
As a daughter held her father.
How unfair it seems to separate this pair.
Why must we rip ourselves apart?
As life starts closing doors.
What is this path we walk down carrying flowers with thorns?
This cruel bitter loss felt by all
as the daughter anointed the man with a gentle touch.
Reposing her head against his thin shoulder
to encouraging his rest.
My heart wanted to hold her, lessen her pain,
Offer her hope, ease the load.
But it was her watch to stand.
I recalled my own dark watches of the night.
The wretched tearing of the soul.
The desperate need to hold on,
Knowing the need to let go.
This was the daughter's obeisance to give away.
All that she was, her loving tribute will ever remain.
As a daughter released her hold on the man.
I want a love
that comes once in a lifetime
filled with sleepless nights
and for all the no reason fights
I want warm whispers underneath an ever billowing blanket
where I hunger for his touch
and he is only awaiting me
Passion overwhelming all of our senses
intoxicating
Legs caught up in a tango
the rythym shared bewteen
beautiful
heart pounding
echooing all the way down into my gut
breathless and head still spinning
I feel as If i am one with the universe
and you
straight to the stars where the warmth of the sun is almost blinding
I want to feel
My heart ripping
in two when you leave my side
blood dripping
all over the floor
Screaming into pillows
lips burnt from the salty concentration of my wet tears
grit my teeth and close my eye
gripping the blankets for something to hold on to
comfort
I let only the darkness enfold its arms around me
Tossing and turning and choking on stale air
Sweating bullets
Feverous
I welcome the pain
its something I can bear
I want a love, and I want it so badly
I want a love that makes me
act the fool
Insanity
Just plain happy
When you return
I want to feel my heart jump into throat
Speechless
arms and legs shaking
like a leaf in a windstorm
So happy
my heart's going a 1000 beats per minute
hold me close
and you will feel the amplitude to it
I want breathless moments
where you kiss me
and rejuvenate
all the life once more in me
killing all the sadness and loneliness
that has accumulated my system for months
where I am cured
I yearn for you
I want to glow
Lighting up the dingy airport
like a lost ship it will help you to find me
I want to make your face tingle
with hummingbird kisses
Jumping into your arms
kissing you so hard your eyes pop out
do you welcome this dream?
I wonder
-------- PART ONE TO BE CONTINUED
Form:
The pain you feel when dementia hits,
Is unlike any other pain I believe that exists,
Whether slow or at a fast pace they forget more and more,
While you're fighting to keep their memories alive but inside you mourn,
Holding onto the love while pretending not to show pain,
The alcohol erasing the memory of the entire relationship you've gained,
Until your seeing a shell of a man you once knew,
Forgetting all the love they shared with you,
The closeness you once had is completely gone,
And every fiber of your being wants to hold on,
And the pain becomes so deep you can't even reach,
And all you can do is pray for him to remember anything,
It's like talking to someone you're meeting for the first time,
All the years of love you shared are erased in their mind,
And it is if they have died right in front of your face,
And you beg God to heal him every single day,
And then you work in the same atmosphere day in and day out,
Searching for remedies, for anything that might help,
And when you see a ray of light in that darkened room,
It is the fuel that tells you not to give up so soon,
So you keep going, because you don't give up on the love,
Until you realize that this isn't enough,
Until you must sacrifice in ways you never thought you could,
Because if it was your choice you never would,
And then your told you have to heal and start over again,
And you never thought you would be single or alone in the end,
Enter your grave, as though a pilgrim, full of smile,
Within satin muslin decked coffin, sleep peaceful,
May death, the deathless (?), feel ashamed of his sly guile...!
Tomb, the womb of nature, has its grandeur and style,
Ask your guardian-angel! Make your stay blissful!
Enter your grave, as though a pilgrim, full of smile,
Body might decompose into bone - nerve - flesh pile,
Dwell, like a zen cloister; make life calm and graceful;
May death, the deathless (?), feel ashamed of his sly guile...!
You are, like a seed; you might remain for a while,
Each trial you face will make your journey tranquil;
Enter your grave, as though a pilgrim, full of smile,
Tell yourself stories that could make your stay worthwhile,
Bright corners must make you feel heartily thankful;
May death, the deathless (?), feel ashamed of his sly guile...!
Midst thunder, you'll see the son of man's arrival,
Hold on him and remain, for his graces, grateful;
Enter your grave, as though a pilgrim, full of smile,
May death, the deathless (?), feel ashamed of his sly guile...!
15 April 2022
I tried to warn you
But did you listen
Tried my level best to tell the truth
and not perpetuate the lie
I told you I am not the man you
perceive or believe me to be
Come to think of it not quite sure
I ever was
Maybe once upon a time way back
when I was just a boy
That suit shoe's hat and key don't fit
And yet again don't hold your breath
honestly i don't think he is ever coming
back or where in fact he went at all
The showman here before you is not real
it's all an act that crawls back into the
shadow's when alone
To the point now it drains me and i struggle
to remember my lines or even play fulfill
the role I was born to play
It drives me round the bend and full
disclosure no I have not the will or desire
to being to mend
The crack's are ripping open laid bare
for all to see so hold on tight the end is nigh
Not long now before I am muted out
completely for the greater good
If I had anywhere else to go I would have
left long ago but that would only add to
other's woes and so too mine
And how to end this morbid tale of sorrow
But rather with what the me they and both
I wish and want to know leaving them
wanting more
With 1 or 2 witty quips surreptitious or
humorous anecdote or jokes to send
them gladly on there way happier as I
have somehow inadvertently made their day
No point in making other's feel blue as
well just because I am as that may be
one and only saving grace and gift I
haven't yet lost
And surely then only hell awaits to break my
fall because I must be then so far gone rock
bottom is as far away as heaven's locked
staircase gate
I did try to warn you from the very start
But did you listen
Come to think of it no neither so did I
I seen the very same warning signs
In fact I was indeed he who pointed
them out clear as day
But yet again i can not be told
Never take the time to listen
And choose to rather follow the blind
The hole inside the hole is incomplete
Is empty
Exceeding all expectations
It is not there in any way shape or form
Not even a wall to narrow the circumference
Or accompany it into the nothingness that is
Doubling down the nothing in a void
It never really was
Emptied out over endless falls
Of possibilities of what could be
Going on to stop the going on
Looking for a spirit in all things
Sounds echo one way down the hall of time
Return like frightened children
Out of breath
No breath to speak of
Not really there to begin with is surmised
Light passing through as if
Something were to come of it
Perhaps that would suffice if it were there
But in the end
Just like the end
It is not really bending light to see
The void is not the enemy
It is simply more emptying into empty
A long hole inside a lonely hole
With nothing to hold on to
Pouring out its soul
Hello!...The echo is closed
Never to be heard
Falling to tomorrow
Never to return
*Authors note: The author apologizes if it appears as if he is digging too deep a hole. He assures you that he has the best intentions at heart and is innocent as a new born baby....maybe...
Each just a bit afraid and broken
I’m tired of being Americas token
I pick a line any line, any side
I realize, I have not the prize
Don’t throw me away?
I close my eyes I’ve died
I opened my eyes tears flow
I tried, I tried, sigh
Do you believe in me today?
In retrospect…Just a savage
I am not broken
A broken person
You and yours also are not broken people OH! NO
Collapsed
Drowning in the dung;
Did you hear what I said
Don’t throw me away?
High-minded you hide behind it
Elderly poor and abused
Non Caucasian pure American?
Prejudice well liked
Incarcerated enticed
Prejudice is righteous
Hold on are you believing;
I am not broken
A broken person
You and yours also are not broken people OH! NO
I am receiving everything I should
And it’s not good;
I pout and brood;
Don’t throw me away?
Rain down on me your objectivity;
Sanction and tax my creativity;
Loose me, confine me;
Hold on are you receiving;
I am perceiving everything I should
I am not broken
A broken person
You and yours also are not broken people OH! NO
I pick a line any line, any side
I realize, I have not the prize
Don’t throw me away?
Elderly poor and abused
Non Caucasian pure American?
Prejudice well liked
Incarcerated enticed
Prejudice is righteous
Only for the hypocrite
The only love you have is the LOVE OF HATE
And HATE is in your spirit, soul, heart and mind
Did I already say, I am not broken
A broken person
You and yours also are not broken people OH! NO
You keep in mind…
You pick a line any line, any side
You realize, I have not the prize
Perceiving everything I should
Be ready for forgiving you
For what you’ve put me through
Prejudice well liked
Incarcerated enticed
Prejudice is righteous
Only for the hypocrite
You hate elderly
You hate young the youth, you hate everything but your truth
You hate others not like you, whom don’t share your views
Each just a bit afraid and broken
I am perfect in every way, I’m chosen
Each just a bit afraid and broken
Each just a bit afraid and broken
Each just a bit afraid and broken
I’m chosen I am perfect in every way
Don’t throw me away?
9/18/19
For Pick a line any line Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Richard Lamoureux
One line Taken from 6/18/17 “Don’t Throw Me Away” poem
I've always been one
to let the loneliness in
but not for long
a fight
each patterned step
out of the way
these thoughts
haphazard
weaved in and out of me before
momentarily drifting away
~
I'm a moon that's rarely full
lost on the other side
darkness
daring gravity
to hold on to me
to beg of you to see
to stay
but ...
it's only pushing you
further further away
if only ...
I was your light of day
a breath that breeds
beauty
the reflection of your sun
where we would lay
our hearts
gently
among lavender fields
fully released
of love and life
and peace
Faith over fear
Our destination belongs to Jesus
There is a creed in the Kingdom of God and
Faith is the Action which is ownership before you have it!
Stretch your avenue
You have the title deed because you understand
The Creed of the Kingdom of God and the Grace of the Lord
Through the road of life
When we all think alike, then no one is thinking
The road of faith paves a new path as
We bathed ourselves in the performance of fiery faith!
A reflection in time reminds us of
Our capacity to deal with old problems in new ways because
Our Faith in Jesus creates new doors to open and some to close!
The hidden potential found in every individual
Can reawaken the flexibility of innovation
Fiery faith is something we must embrace
In Him, we trust as we hold on to His Word!
There is a creed in the Kingdom of God and
Faith is the Action which is ownership before you have it!
Stretch your avenue
You have the title deed because you understand
The creed of the Kingdom of God
Faith over fear because
Our destination belongs to Jesus
Mark Frank
Copyright 2023
I’m too old to live out these songs I sing.
There has been too much pumped into these veins.
But if you remember how I was back in time…
Won’t you toss me a nickel or a dime?
I used to travel all around the world.
and I bought my condoms by the case full.
I stored all my cocaine in quart-sized mason jars…
in my yachts, jets, and fancy armored cars.
Man, those were sure some good old glory days.
Before I smoked and drank my dreams away.
When everything I touched turned into solid gold…
Back before the horse took away my soul.
You know that once the devil seals the deal.
There’s no way you can beg, borrow, or steal.
Another second of the fame that you ain’t owed…
No matter how bright the lightning you rode.
Chorus:
When I was on top, man I was the best,
I was so damned far above all the rest.
I’d give my life to have that spotlight once again…
Not outside on this sidewalk begging change.
Standing here playing guitar in the rain.
Your tracks may have faded away with time.
But all those old wounds that you left behind.
Left me with so much more to remember you with…
I can’t say that I thank you for the gift.
I wonder is there nothing left in me.
but the memories of what used to be.
and those sad dreams about how my life could have been…
Knowing I can never go there again.
Now I’m playing these old forgotten songs.
begging change from strangers that come along.
Hoping to get enough to buy a fifth of gin…
I lost my wife, kids, and even my friends.
So heed the words of this broken-down man.
Hold on tight to any dreams that you can.
Because once they're gone, they won’t be back again…
And you’ll find yourself outside, playing guitar in the rain.
(Repeat Chorus)