Long Hippopotami Poems

The scenery was magnificent, and the morning was slightly hot,
Our land cruiser was windowless, and sitting in a lovely spot.

The giraffes were splendid, and much bigger than I'd expected,
One could hardly gaze at the vast...

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'BRRRING BRRRING' said the telephone

“Oh hello” said the wide viewfinder to the telephone. “How are you today?” The telephone fell silent. Very silent. It had no battery with which to call, speak, shout or do...

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Animal Poems II

These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel.



Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a camel who loved to hump.
Please get your lewd minds out of their...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
“When again, gentle bride?”
“Nevermore!” bright-eyed Raven replied.



The...

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"The Mallard" and other Animal Limericks

The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his bawdy, boisterous mistress;
my pond's their loud bordello!



On the Horns of a Dilemma...

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Books 

I went to the Frankfurt Book Fair the other day.
It was mind-boggling..Books! 
There were fat books, thin books,
White books, black books, tawny books,
Paperbacks, hardbacks, beautifully bound books,
Pure books, lax books, learned books, lay books,
Plain...

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I went to the Frankfurt Book Fair the other day.
It was mind-boggling..
Books! There were fat books, thin books,
White books, black books, tawny books,
Paperbacks, hardbacks, beautifully bound books,
Pure books, lax books, learned books, lay books,
Plain books,...

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pickle a paper and print paint playfully pointing pins
Knitting needles in a fish and chip shop is about as useful or as necessary as eating a soup with a spade. Dramatic are the arriving interludes...

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I hope you find my story life enhancing
About a man with elephantine thighs
When Twinkle-Toes O'Donnell started dancing
He chose a partner almost twice his size
The pair of them looked like two horses prancing
The judges simply disbelieved...

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Watch out and wait. In fact stop listen and wait. Is that the wailing of a sail sailing by? Of course it is. The fact that an ironed breeze can touch a nautical knot is...

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A BUNCH OF “WHY'S”

Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about the same as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets aren't common
So they're really poop out of luck

A donkey with wings or an ass that...

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Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about as much as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets aren't common
So they're really poop out of luck

A donkey with wings or an ass that sings
Quite an image...

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Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about as much as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets are not common
So they're really poop out of luck

A donkey with wings or an ass that sings
Quite an...

Read More

Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about the same as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets aren't common
So they're really poop out of luck

A donkey with wings or an ass that sings
Quite an image...

Read More

I couldn't think of a poem today
But still felt the need to write
So as not to disappoint myself
I took these random thoughts from deep within my mind
And placed them in some sorta order
So that they...

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I wish to be a child again if only for a day
Happiness, joy and fun endless hours spent in play
Time to imagine all sorts of impossible things
Dinosaurs skipping and Hippopotami with wings
Parties, swing parks, carousels...

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Everyday I have lunch
With a pink hippopotamus
The menus always the same
Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches 
Oh, and Diet Cherry Coke 
Cause he likes the way it tickles his throat

His friends sometimes stop by
To join...

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“Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie, face
Great Chieftain o’ the Puddin-race!”
“Address To A Haggis”, Robert Burns, 1786.
(Keeper o’er the Fourth Kingdom)

Robert, Robert, Fourth Kingdom
Gate Keeper.
No Telestial glory
Befits the poet deeper!

Wherefore is thy legacy
Robert Burns, regretfully
Wherefore is...

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A hippo never went to school
which seems quite the catawampus
tho' he's no fool it's not cool
as there's no hippo campus
and wild is the hippo
while the horse may be tamed
yet both are herbivores
with large teeth to...

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A Chowder Of Cats

There's a chowder of cats on the corner
an exultation of larks in the sky
a troop of monkeys high in the trees
where the rhino's doth daily crash by

A pack of dogs patrolling the...

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The digestive system, what can I say, 
A favorite to exercise many times a day. 
It’s always working whether awake or asleep, 
And most of the time you don’t hear a peep. 
But once in...

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Bite Off More Than They Can Chew

How can someone be chocked up who we knew;
Have them Bite Off More Than They Can Chew;
Terrible diet;
Should not try it,
And then try to cram down mouth with a...

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A duck-billed platypus
Is bathing on the bus
She left her favorite stream
To join our swimming team

She did so well last year
Her lane was free and clear
Until the final leg
When Platy laid an egg

The hippopotami
Don’t eat the...

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