Long Grossly Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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SELF REFLECTIONS

These are poems about mirrors, images, self-image, reflections, impressions and self-reflection. 

Self Reflection
by Michael R. Burch 

for anyone struggling with self-image

She has a comely form
and a smile that brightens her dorm ...
but she's grossly...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Beckoning
by Michael R. Burch 
 
Yesterday the wind whispered my name
while the blazing locks
of her rampant mane
lay heavy on mine.
And yesterday
I saw the way
the wind caressed tall pines
in forests laced by glinting streams
and thick with...

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Inxs of poison from iron maiden scorpion mamma and ac/dc charged aries papa

Although gainfully unemployed 
(fate now finds me receiving 
social security disability – 
for approximately 
the last baker's dozen years -
the yeast divine intercession...

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Hannah, I haven't seen or heard you cry
not in the gray of winter day
or in the cold silence of our prisoner nights,
the others can hardly keep up with you on the marches
your face is changeless...

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Please help yarn hexed door neighbor...

Yours truly pinned down by invisible 
vestiges of coronavirus and
getting attacked from angry plague 
of buttons, plus huge spools of yarn
grossly mistook me for human sock 
to seal and line...

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Back in two thousand plus some years more of five,
When computers I'd just met, didn't yet with jive;
When a computer was just a box of technology,
A box of fascination and luring like a giant mystery,
I...

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Watching upcoming toilet bowl lvii highlight of February 12th, 2023

Above title attests 
how mine mundane mein kampf
insync as a veritable clogged drain oh:
flush with adventure overflowing excrement
er... rather excitement.

Apt aforementioned accurate personal description
believe me not,...

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Watching upcoming toilet bowl lvi highlight of February 13th, 2022

Above title attests how mine mundane mein kampf
insync as a veritable clogged drain oh:
flush with adventure overflowing excrement
er... rather excitement.

Apt aforementioned accurate personal description
believe me not,...

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another 1970s piece --


An old, inebriated man came stumbling from the bar.
I watched as he collapsed beside the front door of his car.

He used the handle on the door to struggle to his feet,
Then turned...

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The Pied Piper from New York City – Part Two

This is quite despicable and very inappropriate for someone holding the 
“Highest Office in Our Land.” The Pied Piper hides his treachery by
Wrapping himself in the...

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Bane of dyschezia

Constipation spoilt rare visit
with eldest daughter
(yesterday - November twenty sixth
two thousand twenty two)
currently housed near
Rittenhouse Square, Pennsylvania.

Less than twelve hours
after a cocktail comprising
handful of prunes,
four psyllium husk capsules,
plus three dulcolax.

Myself and missis
privy to...

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These days I seek no more than this, discernment, verse gets heard,
a comment’s icing on the cake, but ratings are absurd.
A ‘one’ could be my best review, a ‘five’ the praise of fool,
a compliment, fraud’s...

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Alfredo always abhorred angry approaches
After an amigo accosted after an argument
And, afterward, Alfredo abstained arguing,

Because blackening bruises betrayed blather
Berniccio blindly behaved better, bravely
Becoming brotherly before blasting bullies!

Carefully commandeering calmer Carlos,
Claiming cool comradeship courageously
Communicated clever candid...

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Note I did not ever say this......another poet did...
His statement inspired me to pen this Poem.
Nor does he know that people of all religions and from 
all other countries volunteer a few weeks a year...

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The Platypus: Double Limerick
by Michael R. Burch 

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are meager.
His sight is poor;
perhaps he’ll score
with a...

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Me, an aging baby boomer
long haired pencil necked geek
burning, depleting, using... fossil fuels,
thus a global nonrenewable resource(s)
repentant consumer
admitting heavily trod carbon footprint
additionally deeply enmired
within very late adolescence,

hence I shriek
with utter dismay
starkly aware personal hygiene
suffers direct...

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curt hissy Matthew Scott Harris
who wishes ewe well
to make $cents of the following
mumbo jumbo lettered gumbo.

Hip puck crease see
(ad hoc) key hide dee claim
haint how my noggin 
comports itself to take aim,
cuz ear lee aire...

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In our most beautiful, suburbian , breakfast nook,
Where I read so many joyfilled books,
With  the golden sunlight streaming in,
Is where my days as a girl,always,did begin.

Wallpaper of giant strawberries
Smiled with love at me.
A knock...

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Twenty first century civilization gone?... I askew.

Ah... what luxury to wax poetic 
as freedom to trumpet thoughts, 
ideas, emotions, et cetera will wane,
especially if president number forty five
courtesy wealth and/or stealth
dons the mantle as de...

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Twenty First Century Civilization Gone Askew...?

Methinks perchance man
     kind always vain
n'er did appertain
moral hike polar opposite
     from human being:
uncivil, unethical, unsocial, et cetera
    ...

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Brown paper memories she puts in my hands
Twine roughly tied in a bow slightly askew
Part and parcel of a humble life once led?
My defiant eyes meet hers of black velvet dew 

Give me back my...

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Currently there are seven Democrats and one Republican that are making anti-Semitic comments against the nation of Israel. On the floor of the House of Representatives! Only the Democratic Jewish Representative from the blue State...

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