Long Get used to it Poems
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waterfall from skies compete with my thoughts
must be doing something else,
yet here I am,
Here. I am.
Again.
Why do I keep coming back here?!?
A mental shake,
as I chastise myself
I shouldn't be here, don't belong here anymore.
Most likely, I never did, just pushed myself in this place.
But I feel like a homing pigeon,
where this is the only place I know
that I can be and not be.
Where I can hide and expose myself at the same time.
With repercussions? Maybe.
I sit in my own corner and immerse myself
in the chatter, the laughter, and other matters
Nobody really notices me,
but that's ok.
I'm getting used to it.
I guess I keep coming back here
for that sense of familiarity, of a somewhat home,
for the memories.
Of myself in happier times,
of a chapter in my life that I have written
yet somehow botched up. Badly, so badly
that the words are all swimming in their own tears
Oozing ink, drowning.
But it shouldn't surprise me anymore?
This is me?
Of course I will always somehow manage to mess things up.
Some ways more than the others,
'my-esque' askewness
For some, that chapter in my life
is of course negligible. An erasable footnote perhaps?
It hurts, but we all have our own worlds,
where you may not be as important to others
as you thought, as you wanted to be.
There I went, pushing myself again,
only to be pushed away with a
thousand mile barrier of silence.
All along, being dust in that corner.
I gulp a bucket of tears,
because I will not deny it--
how much it hurts. Still.
But like what I say,
have to get used to it.
My hands are cold,
and I wipe snot from my nose,
a dainty trickle of snot, but snot nonetheless,
have had my snot-in-sheets phase,
so this is progress, that trickle.
1234, my clock says,
12345678910, I count to myself
collecting, breathing slowly
needles in my feet and shivering
Gosh, can I get any more pathetic?!
Yes, I have and I bet I will still be so.
No, this is not a pity-me thing,
more like a slap-myself thing
So I can look back, read this
and say to myself:
Others have it harder than you,
yet they stand,
I'm here sitting,
yet others stand.
...
the sky is still drumming the earth with water
and my eyes are threatening to do a duet. Again.
I chide myself, Enough now.
For my bags under my eyes are already so smooth, too deep
Too weathered and soaked for a year.
----> 'slap-myself thing', remember??
Remember.
It's not sadness that haunts me.
Sadness has shape.
Sadness has weight.
Sadness weeps and wails and rips the air apart-
It moves.
Sadness is a storm.
You can feel it crash through your chest,
Leave splinters in your lungs.
But you survive it.
You know it's there.
Numbness?
Numbness is the quiet aftermath-
When the wind has died
But the wreckage surrounds you.
And no one asks if you're okay
Because everything seems fine.
Numbness is not the fire-
It's the ashes.
It's waking up and feeling
Nothing.
Not peace
Not pain
Not even that hollow ache that used to howl through your ribcage.
Just static.
Just the blur.
You walk through the day
Like a ghost with skin.
Laughing on cue,
Nodding on time
Saying "I'm fine" so well
You almost forget it's a lie.
But you're not fine.
You're disappearing.
Slowly.
Softly.
So quietly that even you didn't notice at first.
You don't cry
Because crying would mean something hurts.
You don't scream,
Because screaming would mean
There's something left to fight for.
You just go still.
You just exist.
Not live. Not dream. Not hope.
Just survive.
Just... endure.
And that's the horror of it-
The normalcy of it.
The way numbness slips into your bones
Like it belongs there.
The way you start to forget what sunlight
Used to feel like
Before it turned to wallpaper,
Flat on the walls, like decoration.
Not warmth.
You eat, not because you're hungry-
Because it's time.
You sleep, not because you're tired-
Because you can't bear to be awake anymore.
People say "take care of yourself"
But how do you care for something
You can't even feel?
They ask what's wrong and
You want to scream
"I DON'T KNOW"
"I JUST FEEL GONE"
But the words rot on your tongue.
Because numbness steals even that.
And maybe the scariest part?
You almost get used to it.
You almost accept this half-life.
You almost stop noticing
You're not really here.
Almost.
Until one day,
You look in the mirror
And realize you can't remember the last time
You saw someone human
Looking back.
And in that moment,
You understand-
This. Isn't. Living.
This is drowning,
In a sea no one can see,
Suffocating without sound,
And wondering if anyone will ever notice.
You've gone under.
[Verse]
I got cayenne in my coffee
and I served it up myself
I mixed it up with the cinnamon
and it sure woke up my mouth
You kept me up all night again
but only in my dreams
it seems you are not done with me
so 5th dimension is the only means
[Chorus]
Life is truely different
when you open your third eye
It takes on different meanings
when you stop sorting with pride
realize you are always a student
and the lessons are served up
be eager to get on with it
and for your next glow-up
[verse]
Whatever your dust-up
get up, do it
just get to it
life marches on
you get used to it
I am here if you choose
and this won't ever go away
and it will always be this intense
that's the twin flame way
Spiritually awake
you can now explore
and unexpected lessons
will show up at your door
I did not start it
I am merely a catalyst
my job here is as teacher
the divines right hand
I show up when needed
and in divine time
but a glow-up is needed
for us to combine
You have to match my energy
You have to be on my verve
you gotta have some game
gotta gotta gotta have that nerve
AH, AH, AH, AH OHHHH
[verse]
I did not create this script
it comes from up there
we live to level up
or we get left in the dust
We keep coming back
to the drawing board
and presented the same lesson again
till its like we are bored
You gotta gotta have that nerve
you have to have verve
you have to match my energy
you gotta have some game
[verse]
Whatever your dust up
get up, do it
just get to it
just get to it
just get to it
just get to it
I am here if you choose
to get up do it, just get to it
life marches on
you get used to it
I am here if you choose
and this won't ever go away
and it will always be this intense
that's the twin flame way
and it will always be this intense
that's the twin flame way
Spiritually awake
you can now explore
and unexpected lessons
will show up at your door
will show up at your door
I did not start it
I am merely a catalyst
my job here is as teacher
the divines right hand
I show up when needed
and in divine time
but a glow-u is needed
for us to combine
You gotta get to it
gotta get down an do it
get on it
just do it
do it
comon - just do it
do it, do it, do it, do it YEAH!
[music fades]
I waxed the floor too carefully—
the classroom still blue with youth I left behind.
Fresh chalk lined up like teeth I inhaled and exhaled.
Suspicion wore me like a suit, choking tight at the neck.
The sun laughs, burning
“BE CHEERFUL!” in bubble letters on my back—
a bright villain.
Sharpen your pencil. Bring it here.
My mouth tastes sour: the flavor of obligation.
Before I was “Mr. Kobayashi,”
they called me by my name.
My dream came true.
The cherry blossoms fell.
Homework comes and goes, chasing me—
a smiley-stamp squeals, “Run faster!”
First year, teaching six-year-olds—
even a “yes” earns praise I secretly crave.
The glittery schoolbag makes it home.
Blink—and it stings.
1 p.m. Dust and crumbs rest beside lockers.
Adulthood is a job done alone.
Is that person a teacher?
Ignored.
The wall map folds on the wrong side—hard to read.
The clock begins its second lap,
stealing emotion without sound.
Too much love for a task meant for sleep.
Let the world be kind—and nothing more.
That mouth, always preaching “gossip is wrong,”
speaks it fluently in the teachers’ lounge.
“Until you get used to it,” they say—
this drink is 17% proof.
I no longer know who I’m teaching.
Fake praise grows from spit.
Just for today—don’t let them find me out.
Even sunlight is cruel to an insomniac chameleon.
I laugh at the brightness in a student’s face—
but my throat is fading. Please, a candy.
Let’s find something nice about a classmate—
not “a friend.” Be honest.
Getting up. Putting on socks.
Twenty minutes gone—Tuesday morning.
“Left foot, right foot”—they still don’t know.
Neither do I.
A child grips scissors like fangs—
eyes daring, wild.
“Do what you like. This place will keep spinning.”
Every day: medicine.
There’s money. I have limbs.
Summer break is coming.
Our alphabet grows sharper—
soft curls to spiked edges.
They say we need new shoes.
So what?
Dandelion roots are thick.
You can eat them.
I close the textbook.
Hold the fluff in my hands.
Night and black—indistinguishable.
A simple job—forgotten at home,
still there.
Expectations
No rest
No time to breathe
A weight on your chest
Nothing less than excellence
Even that's not enough
A world that tells black people
That even if you follow the rules
You are still not good enough
Because as long as your black
They will always have the last laugh
In a world that preaches equality
It sure is a hypocrite
From young we are taught that life is a test
That no matter how hard we work
We will always be seen as less
Even with perfect scores we still come last
A crooked system used to keep us at the bottom
A crooked system used to make sure our life is a struggle
A box with no key deprived of freedom
Locked in with chains so we can't outshine them
Doing everything in their power
To watch us sink
In an ocean that steals our breath
Drowning in a watery abyss
A constant fight to stay afloat
Whilst they just stare at us
A fight that isn't fair
The water keeps us suppressed
So everytime we open our mouth
The water sinks our words
Just like everytime we try to speak
We are labelled dramatic
All this happening whilst the weight of their hate
Slowly drowns us to death
In a world that claims progression
The education system sets us back
Policing black children
Whilst holding us back
So all the white kids can succeed
Then tell us we will never amount to anything
That all we are good for is a prison sentence
Drilling inferiority straight into our chest
To make sure discrimination is the only education we will get
The only lesson received is how racism will never end
The syllabus being slurs and all the different ways we are hated
Buy something they seem to forget
Is we have legacies of strength
We are stronger than the hate that you threat
You push us down and yet we continously get up
We are made of tungsten the strongest element
You think you can break us
Your hate will break instead
You try to steal our breath
But our oxygen tank is unlimited
We are here for the long run
You'll just have to get used to it
We are here to stay
And we will never let you forget
2024.5.14
Good night, sleep tight.
Don't let bug bites.
Avo was unhappy and said
"I thought I was his favorite,
But no, not really.
I have been ignored
Just like the rest of you all"
"Poor C33, she has to cope with us
All by herself". Chilli added.
Banana snapped back
"That's life, get used to it.
Just like the song sang by
Teresa Teng "Forget him".
"Not many people love us forever,
You know." Pear jumped in.
"Yes. It is a tough tough world out there.
Justice is for the rich.
They own and control almost everythings...
I think" Plum said
By now, avo was weeping
And the rest of the fruits were.....
Good night sweet heart,
Tomorrow is another day,
Life moves on, and time never stays.
Sweet heart, let me sing you Brahms lullaby.
"Lullaby, my sweetheart......
Tears run down as the curtains fall on the stage.
As she swallows all the tears down her throat.
She continues to sing
"Say good night. Say goodbye,
Oh my darling, have a good night,
I will see you, in the morning
We are going to have some fun.
As you grow, every day,
I will be with you as always,
I'll never and never
Leave you all by yourself.
Lullaby, my sweetheart,
Oh my baby, a sweet night.
Now I laid you, down to your crib.
I'll see you when the day's begun.
As you go, every where.
I will be right by your side.
As you know, I love you
And for sure I will always do.".
Lullaby, lullaby,
Oh my baby, sleep tight.
In the morning, when the sun rises.
It will be another happy day.
Oh my darling, the angels guard.
As you dream in your good sleep,
Tomorrow, when you wake up
I'll be right here with you.
Thank you Mr Author,
The lyric was written as you requested before.
How many families have sadly lost a loved one,
We seem to have become quite numb,
To the numbers, as they escalate daily worldwide.
How many people have lost their job,
For the first time, unbelievable, he or she silently sob.
Such troubled waters we have all gone through,
Middle class people who swallow their pride and queue
For food, their business went bust, too many dying
In hospitals with Corona, the world is afraid and crying
Masks are not essential said the President do as you wish
You will never hear me use the word Corona during my
Second term in office. He never said keep your distance
Or wash your hands often, or that this virus is do or die!
We have all traveled a very rocky road this last year,
We lived and still live in despair and absolute fear,
But no one to guide the people, to do the right thing,
For golf is the President’s thing!
However, due to Covid 19 some families have flourished
And do things together, they have slowed down, saved
Money, and only go out when inevitable to take a trip,
To the Supermarket, to the Pharmacy, or the Doctor,
Don’t eat out, or stop for a cup of coffee, not even a sip.
Many people work from home, we do, so relaxed, a revelation!
There is no holiday for us for a while, no annual vacation
Right now, but certainly an important staycation!
Christmas day will be with our son and his beautiful wife,
It has now become a chilled out type of life,
We sit in chairs in the garden four metres apart,
And enjoy our truly glorious South African weather
Carry sanitizers in our pocket and definitely wear a mask.
Do you still enjoy this kind of entertainment, people ask,
Absolutely, get used to it folks, this is the new normal!
Take all the way to death and took that car to the West to that car, all the way to the ing best place in the world and that was the bar where they got ing blessed with a beer. Two beers, three beers, four beers, and tequila, and they drove home drunk.
And they were feeling fine and they survived. All right, But they were black ass drunk when they got into a fight with their ing selves. You know when they hit, Bad. They were hot as hell. Anyway, that wasn't two boys. I was a boy and a girl. That wasn't too girls.
That was a boy and a girl you thought it was the point of girl world and boy. Boy girl boy boy girl world ing you know whatever toy whatever toyed with Whatever is foiled with and soy, we ing trust and soy. Plants is a must. There must be some sort of Kevlar.
He has a bulletproof uh beans. I think you put that beans in here and you ing come clean. The tanks, the bulletproof vest fall off my chest, slice the chest. Need to hear. No there. And either here, or there live before you cast out for your cast. Found welfare town.
Welfare, rapping like that. You come rap, rap rap share. Hahaha, I call that . She didn't ing want dick. She wanted him. Uh, get used to it.
Now, that has got it ing hard and it. And that was probably all it does. For her entire life.
Some es are like, Good. , in my opinion. I thought it was a brilliantly, statistically good book, but it was only 15-20 minutes. But we ed the entire time. And it didn't even come out and didn't come out for good.
Well, you know, two people, they get close enough to each other. Their clothes come off in this short ing before they even know it. Sure. Yeah, so true. What do you know that?
I'm tired of playing, I'm tired of hiding
Shame for myself is all I'm finding
Why do I gotta be what the world says we should be?
I ain't him, I ain't her, I ain't them, I'm just me
Not gonna tone it down before everyone sees
Won't be a prisoner of the norm, I wanna be free
I'll break all the rules
I may look like a fool, but
I've always been this way, if I'm crazy it's okay
'Cause I live and breathe my truth every single day
Who cares if it's normal, who cares where I fit?
I ain't gonna change, you better get used to it.
The girls were teasing, the boys were laughing
Can't pretend like it all never happened
But it's part of my journey to feel everything I've felt
It's a scar, it's a wound, and it all sticks around
I've tried to erase all the things that brought me down
But at least it gave me many, many stories to tell
I'll break all the rules
I may look like a fool, but
I've always been this way, if I'm crazy it's okay
'Cause I live and breathe my truth every single day
Who cares if it's normal, who cares where I fit?
I ain't gonna change, you better get used to it.
This is who I am, get used to it
Don't wanna hide again, get used to it
No more going insane
'Cause I ain't gonna change
I've always been this way, if I'm crazy it's okay
'Cause I live and breathe my truth every single day
Who cares if it's normal, who cares where I fit?
I ain't gonna change, no, no, no...
I've always been this way, if I'm crazy it's okay
'Cause I live and breathe my truth every single day
Who cares if it's normal, who cares where I fit?
I ain't gonna change, you better get used to it
I ain't gonna change, you better get used to it!
I can't seem to find myself, where am I, why is it so dark here, too many doors when i touch the wall.
Collecting my scattered guts, I push a door open, hoping to find a hope I step in, and fall deep and deep. When I turn to look I discern all the doors leading me here.
Is it a dream, I really hope it is.
oh no!! why is my skirt raised, this place is full of eyes staring hungrily at me.
I don't seem to understand it, why does their stare make me feel unclad.
I feel their stare ripping off my clothes slowly thread by thread, i feel like I auricular them mumbling fresh meat.
oh no!! why do these hand's touch make my body feel like I am burning in hell.
Is it a dream, I really hope it is.
where is my daddy who routed me here and told me that I was being taken to fair.
when on mention of fair, I got ready in my new pink frock, where is my daddy?? can someone help me find him.
I feel strayed like in dense forest, I feel suffocated like in buried coffin,
I feel dead like on a crematary bed.
I pinch myself assuming to wake up from the dream but even that seems to defy me.
Is it a dream, I really hope it is.
right now all I know is I am 11, my body is in great pain and I am being told that I would get used to it.
I miss my abode, when at home I dreamt of being a doctor or a pilot ,
but now my dreams seem to be locked away and key thrown.
Is it a dream, I really hope it is.
but no!! i will not let them bury my guts cause I will dare to dream, and i will keep daring untill i reach that home where I dreamt those dreams.
Is it a dream, I really hope it is.