Plagued by Memories

I waxed the floor too carefully— the classroom still blue with youth I left behind. Fresh chalk lined up like teeth I inhaled and exhaled. Suspicion wore me like a suit, choking tight at the neck. The sun laughs, burning “BE CHEERFUL!” in bubble letters on my back— a bright villain. Sharpen your pencil. Bring it here. My mouth tastes sour: the flavor of obligation. Before I was “Mr. Kobayashi,” they called me by my name. My dream came true. The cherry blossoms fell. Homework comes and goes, chasing me— a smiley-stamp squeals, “Run faster!” First year, teaching six-year-olds— even a “yes” earns praise I secretly crave. The glittery schoolbag makes it home. Blink—and it stings. 1 p.m. Dust and crumbs rest beside lockers. Adulthood is a job done alone. Is that person a teacher? Ignored. The wall map folds on the wrong side—hard to read. The clock begins its second lap, stealing emotion without sound. Too much love for a task meant for sleep. Let the world be kind—and nothing more. That mouth, always preaching “gossip is wrong,” speaks it fluently in the teachers’ lounge. “Until you get used to it,” they say— this drink is 17% proof. I no longer know who I’m teaching. Fake praise grows from spit. Just for today—don’t let them find me out. Even sunlight is cruel to an insomniac chameleon. I laugh at the brightness in a student’s face— but my throat is fading. Please, a candy. Let’s find something nice about a classmate— not “a friend.” Be honest. Getting up. Putting on socks. Twenty minutes gone—Tuesday morning. “Left foot, right foot”—they still don’t know. Neither do I. A child grips scissors like fangs— eyes daring, wild. “Do what you like. This place will keep spinning.” Every day: medicine. There’s money. I have limbs. Summer break is coming. Our alphabet grows sharper— soft curls to spiked edges. They say we need new shoes. So what? Dandelion roots are thick. You can eat them. I close the textbook. Hold the fluff in my hands. Night and black—indistinguishable. A simple job—forgotten at home, still there.