Long Funny farm Poems
Long Funny farm Poems. Below are the most popular long Funny farm by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funny farm poems by poem length and keyword.
I own a beauty parlor but I always get things wrong.
Last week I left a lady under the dryer far too long.
She was under the dryer for hours and it fried her brain.
They put her in a funny farm because I drove her insane.
When I dyed a woman's hair, it turned green.
I soon met her family and they are mean.
They made me eat shaving cream and it made me vomit.
Then they grabbed my underwear and gave me a wedgie that was atomic.
They kicked my scrawny ass and and broke my fingers so that I couldn't call the cops.
I think you'll agree that the time has come for me to sell my shop.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Do any of you guys wake up feeling great
And can't figure the reason why
Don't question it, just go along with the flow
High five every passer by
Some will smile and wish you a good day
While others will just walk on by
Mumbling things like “What's up with him?”
“Escaped from the funny farm” they sigh
Wanna know the secret to a stress free life
One with perpetual good times
Where every damn day is hunky dory
And the big old world is in rhyme
It doesn't always have to be like a fairy tale
Always living happily ever after
Just seven days a week would be fine with me
With good times and lots of laughter
Let me know if I'm overdoing this stuff
Love sharing my happy with you
Been on this kick for quite a long while
So get off your butt and giggle too
The boy was as quiet as a viper
Often talkative and very hyper
One thought crossed another
Another topic intercepted the other.
Running…Running…Racing thoughts
Too…Too..many to be caught.
He jumped and jived that young little boy
He sure had ways to actively annoy!
Poor little fellow…they gave him pills
To settle him down and stay still!
“He lacks attention!”
“He needs detention!”
That’s what they thought and said
About the boy’s mind and head!
In a closet, I was found
Needing a break from all sound
Too much activity going round
Twisting…turning…spinning ground!
Needing a quick fast break
From the young boy – for my sake!
Years later, I come to observe and ponder
Is there such thing as ADHD I do wonder!
There is no such thing
A-Ring-A—Ding-Ding
Sound the bells! Ring the alarm
ADHD does NO harm!
Oh why…Look! That’s the charm
Straight from the “Funny Farm!”
Young boy was clearly misunderstood
By friends and neighbors from the ‘hood!
The boy was loaded with a lust for life
In love with living – though some may strife!
Too much wonders…too much to see
To much discover…too much for he…
To contain himself as others desired him to be!
Such an overload – such great lust for world and life
Mis-taken by many creates a strife!
An overflow of thoughts sputter out
Without refrains…without a doubt!
Overwhelming excitement bursts out loud!
Slow down – little boy…slow down!
The pill is there to help you ground…
To steady your pace…and settle your feet
To not burn-out by the kindled heat
Of your passionate lust for life and world!
You’re all right…You are just fine!
May you win many friends when you unwind
Your lust for life, your running thoughts and hasty mind…•
Do any of you guys wake up feeling great
And can't figure the reason why
Don't question it, just go along with the flow
High five everyone passing by
Some will smile and wish you a good day
While others will walk on by
Mumbling things like “What's up with him?”
“Escaped from the funny farm!” they sigh
Wanna know the secret to a stress free life
One with perpetual good times
Where every damn day is hunky dory
And the big old world is in rhyme
It doesn't always have to be like a fairy tale
Always living happily ever after
Just seven days a week would be fine with me
With good times and a bunch of laughter
Let me know if I'm overdoing this stuff
Love to share my happy with you
Been on this kick for quite a long while
Guess a bunch of giggles are due
© Jack Ellison 2013
There were 2 coeds on the pavement outside Yale
They went through the big doors that clanged like a jail
But before they went in, one looked at me and said:
a few words, that filled me with dread
"Its terrible what they did to him, but he was so disgusting"
Did they know about my history of lusting?
Actually that history wasn't that bad, it was a brief stage
And I hoped I had turned that page.
Years later two women spoke words that made me groan.
One said "Lets wait until he's better known."
Then she added "and we'll show the video"
Could it be that that's how they know?
I passed two young ladies, one looked at me, I swooned
She said, "I guess the problem was so much that we assumed!"
Then there were two other women, this time on a train
I stood by the door with a mountain bike, their words were insane
They discussed my bike, then one woman said self righteously
"he must be kept DOWN", as if in revenge for apostasy.
At one point I sent letters to police, didn't mention self-harm.
But they promptly showed up, shipped me to the funny farm.
While in the holding room, I heard a woman say with a grin
"Well this is embarrassing, we'll have to inject him!"
Then another lady showed up, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth
She asked me to sign a form permitting injection, but I opted out.
Frankly with all these women, I'm not impressed
Maybe the fair sex is a blessing, but I don't feel blessed.
I had my reasons; I guess everybody does
Were they excuses? Or just because?
I was through a cauldron, before any of this began
You got to walk in someone's shoes to understand a man.
And I've been framed too, phone calls made in my name
Found that out by overhearing what I supposedly told a dame.
I don't ask for sympathy, I ask to be left alone
Isn't that what rights are, in this American home?
Am I crazy when I say this all occurred?
Can any of us rely on what we overheard?
If laughter's the best medicine
I think I've had an overdose
It's coursing through my body
From my head down to my toes
I'm worried about my Ass
They say you can laugh it off
I'm building up pressure
Like a giant Molotov
I am taken to the funny farm
They think I've gone nuts
I started seeing animals
Walking around without butts
How is it possible
It seems like a bad joke
I'm laughing so hard
I start to cough and choke
I guess in the end
I really did overdose
It didn't quite kill me
But it really came close
So control your laughter
Maybe one chuckle's enough
That dang old funny
is powerful stuff
written by: Richard Lamoureux
Smile you're on Candid Camera Contest
Do any of you guys wake up feeling great
And can't figure the reason why
Don't question it, just go along with the flow
High five every passer by
Some will smile and wish you a good day
While others will walk on by
Mumbling things like “What's up with him?”
“Escaped from the funny farm” they sigh
Wanna know the secret to a stress free life
One with perpetual good times
Where every damn day is hunky dory
And the big old world is in rhyme
It doesn't always have to be like a fairy tale
Always living happily ever after
Just seven days a week would be fine with me
With good times and a whole lot of laughter
Let me know if I'm overdoing this stuff
Love sharing my happy with you
Been on this kick for quite a long while
Guess a bunch of giggles are due
Matthew Scott The Marionette...
(Concocting cock and bull poetic pap
promises to approximate bovine rap
worse case scenario..., you will snap
so friend me at funny farm in Trappe
Pennsylvania, or frankly yukon zap
this poppycock poetic
emetic entailing...vowel)
movements deftly managed skilled puppeteer
unseen hands adroitly maneuver paraphernalia
bajillion miles away deep into thee atmosphere,
where Soundgarden's black hole sun serves as
infinite energy-feeds performing artist career
inherent behind the scenes trickster leveraging
mine every move master of ceremonies appear
ring poking his oblate spheroid noggin thru walled
sky inquiring, asper state of being paternal care
oft times addressing him as father, cuz proficient
craftsmanship forged me from nought meticulously
rendering yours truly complex functions, an engineer
ring feat cosmic artisan whipped out applying greased
lightning rods (unbreakable accouterments) endowing,
and endorsing creation with uber tender loving care
divine intervention nary clue hinted, thus me unaware
leverage, sans remote control bound tethered bond
most every day of "FAKE" existence never suspected
every aspect of my being linkedin at mercy of pioneer,
who more or less cornered, fabricated, patented... the
market, sans configuring sophisticated kin o'man near
lee indistinguishable from offal housed in Augean stables
essentially explaining incessant mooing "holy cow" & rear
ring like a bucking bronco, though mastermind did milk
golden opportunity calf full not to exploit this cash cow
loose sing hybridized mutant amidst green acres, where
past chore age of cornucopia frequently dredges muck
cob bray, and remembrance of things past, I Angus here
hoof hit might be convenient Taurus to part ways lest
ye accuse me being lame provocateur, spewing this slop
(from well chewed cud) out the figurative derriere!
Now I am sitting alone in this
Funny wagon with my boom box
and minding my own business
along with a bunch of numskulls
who thinks I am a nutcase like them—
What a drag! And they think we are
all going to a Funny Farm where
they take those who go bananas!
But I know better because
I am good and dandy--
One hell of a cockscomb dude!
All I am doing is
bamboozling them for now,
Behaving as if I am one of them—
These dolts, dim-witted blockheads!
But, YOU, who’s reading this,
can vouch for me, won’t ya?
Why? Because you are as cool as I am,
It takes one to know one!
You catching my drift, ain’t ya?
~07/16/15
~"Colloquialism" contest by Laura Leiser
Most times strangers
react the way you present
yourself to them
At first they may a bit leery
wondering where you're coming from
but once they realize
you are absolutely harmless
and not some strange escapee
from the local funny farm
but a genuinely friendly individual
just wishing you to have a good day
more times than not
they succumb to your friendliness
Try it, success is not guaranteed
but most people want to believe
you're truly sincere
If more of us would try this
it would be more common
and less suspicious
of an ulterior motive
Memories of a seemingly
more gentle and slower life style
in the late eighteen and
early nineteen century
is a driving force in our search
for a more genteel existence
to counteract this fast paced
twenty-first century!