Long For god's sake Poems
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His hands are small a lot like mine this I can recall, only to see no mirror upon this wall. Just look at my eyes they are not one of another, they are the eyes you left me with just like my mother. On egg shells we walked never knowing when it was ok to talk, we might say or do the wrong thing only knowing better to dodge your swing. You always said blood was thicker than water, so why did you teach us love was about hurting each other? We were your puppets and you was our master only bound to end in a tangle of disaster. You said you held the world in your hands, I wish I knew where it was that I stand.
Remember the time you said "I raised you the best I could?" Was you thinking the same thing when you were slamming my face into the car hood? Or how about the time you beat me so bad I peed my pants right where I stood? You took something from me that took 35yrs to get back don't worry dad I had to makeup for all that you lacked, while you were out busy dealing and abusing your crack! So many nights the aroma of whiskey lingered from your breath, only to awake in the morning seeing you passed out on the kitchen floor only to be half dressed. Don't you realize how that scared us to death! We were your children for gods sake, but you didn't care because you are nothing but a disgusting snake! All we ever wanted was a loving father someone we felt safe with like we did our mother. We couldn't stay in our house so we had to disguise ourselves and seek help from the shelters. So many emotions you put us through anger, fear, hate and isolation. Heck we wasn't even allowed to play, only time we did is when you were away. As I got older you would say "please stay one more shot and ill put it away". One turned into three knowing deep within me I just wanted to flee I just knew what it was going to be. Me on my knee begging to plea. Then you would say " Your nothing to me just get out and let me be!" I turned and looked at him and said "you know one day your gonna miss me!" He just replied,"I now have the one that I adore she's all I'll need forever more." Only if she knew what was bound to be as she became wife number three and by the way her name is Cherie. Year after year you put us last, don't worry dad because now YOUR just an impression of MY past. Now the tables have turned please tell me how does it feel to be the one put LAST!?
its funny how society greets you with a smile and dismiss you and make you cry,
society can be a be a beautiful thing and a horrible living,
but if you’re not good enough , “deal with it” they say,
go find someone else they obeyed
perhaps I’m not good enough,
perhaps I’m too normal for my age,
perhaps I’m too ugly to stand out,
perhaps that is why I’m just a someone in the crowd
its scary how words are sharp enough to cut through you,
how you can trust nobody too,
human aspires fame and popularity,
believe me, they’d sin if they had to.
but what is it about being accepted’s so hard?
we’re all different for gods sake we’re not human cards,
where you choose which one you like and which to disregard.
why can’t i be different?
why do i have to be the girl everyone likes?
because, if you don’t then everyone will run,
you think they would talk to a creep like you.
even you are a fool to think so too
face the fact, you don’t want to be lonely and so do i,
do what it says or continue to cry,
society is scary but you have to meet it’s deeds,
I’m sorry I’m not enough to be let inside.
im not the girls you’d see online,
the perfect thin ones, I’m not defined.
im a mess and I’m unorganised,
but that’s what makes me one of a kind.
a note to myself,
dont cry every night,
you’re enough what more could you want?
the grass is always greener on the other side,
so why do you even bother to try?
some have it worst so appreciate what you have,
someone in this world would switch their live with yourself.
and yet you say that what you have is not enough,
don’t bother checking a therapist, feels like you’re crazy already
you can’t please everyone, not in this world,
7 billion people and one out of third,
would still find an imbecile reason to disagree,
like i said it is how society is.
to all of you,
never beat yourself cause you are not like the person next to you,
perhaps you don’t have what she/he has but she/he does not too.
i hope you take this moment and appreciate what you already have,
someone else in this world is taking their last breath
Like most I suffer from heartbreak
It don't however affect just my heart
It makes my whole body ache
Ache and longing to hold him holding me
Ache and longing from this misery to be free
The loneliness wouldn't be so bad
But it's the not knowing how he feels I can't take
What I said to him wasn't fake
For Gods sake
I wouldn't make up something like that
I'm in love with him have always been for years
Didn't realize it for so long so now because of this I count my tears
I told him this I can't help how I feel
And I know for certain this is so very real
I know together we can help each other heal
Think though I've really scared him off for good this time
There are no good reasons nor any good rhymes
No one is to blame
Christ it's been almost nineteen years that have come and gone since together
last
And it all seemed at the time to go so slow
Yet in harsh reality it all went by way to fast
The wonderful memories of my unforgettable past
Damn the years we let slip by
Gone forever in a blink of an eye
Only to re-play ever so slowly
Over and over in the back of our minds
Life is all to often unkind
The pain is a never ending fight
With yourself in which you lose sight
Of all around you
And also like most I yet can't let go
Not until for sure I know
If he feels for me the same
Or if my mind was just playing another game
Can't do like I did before
Can't keep on walking out the door
Not looking back for so long, closing it and locking him away
I've had my chance to say
I'm in love with him
I know my chances are grim
Of getting to hear the same of him
But I believe him and me
We're meant to be
I know we still have each others heart
And from one another we should've never been torn apart
So I still dream, hope and pray
Maybe someday
At long last
We can stop the many regrets we have of our past
Oh I know I should move on
But the feelings between us they're not gone
I will go on trying
Even if I have to be continually crying
I love him in every way
For him I'll hold on...
Forever and a day
Where do I fall in the niche of things
And where do times change
When you appeared a life time of promises sang
Being invincible is nothing I wish you to be
Unguard your mind
Don't leave anything undefined
The muddy water is never clear
And I wish to know the reason for every tear
When I walk away as we say our goodbyes
I will peer
Over my should
And to see you do it to
Makes the cold air leave
So let me clean your sleeves
Of the broken and shelled heart
And let us go to heaven
To ask where we start
I wish to know the truth
So we can be able to move
Without one misstep
And making no mistakes
For gods sake
Its time to do something right
Clip my wings one more time
Heaven is not where my heart seems to point too
Its like god know
Very few do
You are a being
Sweet and divine
I am here to give you the way to show your shine
Blind me with your love
Let me pour my heart out as well
Fill the wishing well with the sweet and effortless stories we tell
If I taught you to fill my heart
To hear my love
And to see my wings
Would you shed your gloves
And sing your dreams
Would you like to be taken above
To be with me one more time
I have reservations for eternity
All you must do is make up your mind
Murder me with refusals
And block me with the usual
But the arch will leave by morning
Or I will wait until my wings grow
Would you mind soaring
Touring the universe
And galaxies
Stars and planets alike
Just say yes and I will be alright
You have kept my love
For so long
I shall love you and you shall belong
Determine the matter
Don't leave me here shattered
Matted with fear
Do you love me dear
Your soul shines clear as a glacier mountain
And the northern lights depict your souls flight
That it has taken into me
Form:
In our fast paced twentieth century world..,
We oft' have neglected to stop to smell the roses,
Oft' we used to bow our heads silently to pray,
As we reflect back to the sixties is had launched a pad to rebellion !
With a vast amount of liberal bias and thinking,
No wonder why our nation is sinking..,
Sinking amidst a cuss pool of mere morality..,
For now it is a quite different time,
A very unique but different type of day..,
An end of the age of innocence,
One hath been enlightened..,
From seeking truth,
Some fresh out of a garbage can..,
Yet for Gods' sake,
He hath such an amazing plan !
Hence, to shun the broad road,
Yet to seek to venture in the narrow..,
Such as a distant bird in flight !
You might see this creature venture out at night ?
Of the Eagle nor the Sparrow..,
It used to mean something to have a sense of common courteous..,
To hold open the door for your neighbor ?
Yet for the time being we relent and waiver..,
Would you prefer another taste of a certain ice cream flavor ?
To ponder we must be content with who we are in the inside..,
Nor, a mere fancy suit or blazing sport's car,
Life is a roller coaster..,
In what you do while busy making other plans..,
Finding solace among the height of nature.,
Such to think at what is quite simple,
As a young child reflects on his or her poster board,
Playing with their magic crayons..,
For in eternity it is such a very long time !
Take heed in what you do,
Now is the expectant hour !
What will one choose to do ?
There can be no place nor need for any compromise,
Within it's vast perpetual spectrum !
One just can't put a price tag on a genuine but unique heart !
Hence, with honest integrity..,
The time for change is today !
McGee was feeling poorly
Rather dizzy, kind of weak
He started thinking, that perhaps
It's a Doctor he should seek
His wife agreed, and drove him
To the nearest Doc in town
As they made it through the door
She helped him to sit down
It wasn't long before
The Doctor called, and asked Him in
And it didn't take a minute
For the testing to begin
Then after all the pictures
The prodding and the poking
The Doctor's smile disappear
As he set aside all joking
I have to speak with you alone
He said to Ann McGee
Soon your Husband's gonna die
But it doesn't have to be
He has a stress disorder
That will surely kill him dead
Unless of course you're willing
To change some things instead
"What can I do" Ann inquired
Her hands upon her head
"I'll tell all the things to do'
The Doc abruptly said
You mustn't wake Him early
For he needs more time to rest
And forget about a list of chores
He'll have to work must less
You mustn't stress him out
With problems that might weigh
And cook him three good meals
Consistently each day
And mostly whats's important
As He handed her a bag
Have him take one each day
And for Gods Sake, never nag
The Doc then turned and said
If you do these thing, It'll clear
And he should show improvement
In six or seven years
Ann thanked the Doctor kindly
Then returning to McGee
Said "I'll take you home now, darling
And make your favorite tea"
It was silent in the car
Until they drove about half way
McGee then asked impatiently
"What did the Doc say"
Anne stopped the car abruptly
As tear fell from her eye
"Oh, McGee, My Dearest Love
He said your gonna Die"
i dont believe in the smile that you leave when you walk away and say good bye
well i dont expect the world to move underneath me but for gods sake could you
try, i know that your true to me your always there you say you care i know that you
wanna be mine, where is your heart cause i dont really feel you where is your
heart what i really want is to believe you is it so hard to give me what i need i want
your heart to bleed thats all i`m askin for where is your heart i dont understand
your love is so cold its always me who is reachin out for your hand and i`ve
always dreamed that love would be ever lasting like a petal falling to the ground a
dream would follow in the dream, where is your heart cause i dont really feel you,
where is your heart cause i dont really belive you is it so hard to give me what i
need i want your heart to bleed thats all i`m askin for, where is your heart, there
seems to be that theres so much left unsaid but you can say anything oh anytime
you need oh baby its just you and me, i know that your true to me your always
there you say you care i know that you wanna be mine where is your heart cause
i dont really feel you where is your heart what i really want is to believe you is it so
hard to give me what i need i want your heart to bleed thats all i`m askin for
where is your heart cause i dont really feel you where is your heart what i really
want is to believe you is it so hard to give me what i need i want your hear to
bleed thats all i`m askin for, where is your heart where is your heart.
Form:
I have a sadness, an emptiness
why should I have to contemplate life,
For gods sake I'm only 5,6,7,8....
but I've got nothing, I can't see any pictures,
I can't dream in linked sequences,
I can't touch.... I can't feel my future
I have nothing to look forward to.
...Often I ask myself why... why me?
What have I done to deserve this?..
I see,.... I do feel what's happening
...I'm awash with despair
it's heavy... it weighs me down.
...What do I want? My most difficult question.
I search myself, I ask myself all the time,
Yet, the answer is simple, it's not really difficult.
..it's to belong, it's not much to ask for,
to really belong....just repeat it, go on... 'to really belong'
Doesn't that sound good...it feels good?
To be part of someone, something.
To fit together and know it's meant to be,
to feel right, to feel connected....a connection.
To be wanted, ….wanted for me!
To be embraced ….and feel safe, warm, loved
to be part of something and know I can stay,
I can stay.... because I'm wanted
because I belong.....
and then I too can feel light
I can breath,
I can feel,
my smile can spread from within and escape to my eyes,
it can grow...I can grow
…..but for now if you'll allow me, I'll only dream
The feeling of doubt is when you have emptiness in your heart
Your thoughts when your brain won't function the sadness and depression is consuming the darkness from the inside out
It's when that someone who you loved so much just left and you don't know why
The only thought that comes to your mind is it’s my fault
I’m the reason he left cause, I'm such a screw up and a mess that he doesn't want me
His own blood, His own family just like that gone I keep wanting to talk to him but if I let him back in all the memories flow In and disappointment comes
The times he made excuses why he couldn't see you and you want him so bad to be the father you’ve always wanted
For him To be the person to walk you down the isle but he hasn't been there not for achievements, dances, high school experiences, birthdays, and holidays.
You know you have to forgive him for what he has done for gods sake but does he deserve that
A parent who abandoned his only daughter
You have Brokenness because of him the deepness of my pain breaks me every time you try to be happy
You try to forget him but it's hard to forget that your own father is absentee .
going insane just hearing your name
emotionally drained feeling detained
raging pain deep within my brain
nothing can block you out
no amount of drink or drug
no amount of sex or a new Love
U were sneaky yes you were
you worked ur way in oh so deep
with ur slow and steady creep
I gave u my all my everything
more then ive given anybody
You left me high and dry like I was nothing
left me there to cry wanting to die
my days go by slow im ever so weak
because ur memory just cant escape me
going insane just hearing ur name
I lose myself more n more each passing day
when u left u took with u all of me
emotionally drained feeling detained raging pain deep within my brain
I hate ur name I want it to dissipate
I want it out of my vein out of my brain
god I just want you to go away
Give me back me and keep you
help me find a way to undo this glue
I cant keep on I can't keep going
do something say something For GODS sake help me forget u.
I am so drained and Im going insane
so ready for the pain deep within my brain to just go away