Long Elmwood Poems
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Pat the Vampire Bat Gets Evicted
Pat the Vampire Bat
lived on 12 Oak Street, Elmwood.
It was a big flat.
He was one year behind in his rent. He’d spent
all his $$ on chips and on decorations
for his Halloween event.
So the landlord roared, ‘You have ZERO days
to GET OUT FOR GOOD! ZERO DAYS!
His eyes were, of course, ablaze.
‘OH! OH! OH! Will you let me stay here
if I pay you back? I love it here!
I don’t have anywhere to go far or near.
The other bats hate me,’ said Pat with great fear.
‘NO! NO! NO!
You’ll NEVER pay me back! GO!
This is my place! GO! GO! GO!
And, guess what—I’ll be taking away
all your Halloween things today!
As Pat was tightening his belt,
he couldn’t believe how angry he felt.
‘How can this problem be
solved? How can I be
here for good, and have my Halloween party?’ he
mulled over
and over.
So early the next day, just before Mr Grimm
came to get rid of him
for good, Pat had, with great relief,
worked out how he could stay. 'Such a relief!'
As soon as smiley Mr Grimm
came through the door,
Pat, with his wing, slapped Mr Grimm (the bore!)
out cold to the floor. And then he tore him
into pieces. Then he ate him.
Later Pat was sadly so
so
sick he couldn’t go
to his own Halloween event 'OHHHHH!'
Snot Man Blue
There was no skin and hair
on his lower and upper big round torso.
Instead, there was thick and blue snot. Some would go, ‘Oh what a distracting gross sideshow!’
‘Well, at least he has my ears,
and your big puffy nose,
and my eyes and your mouth and toes,’ his mother had remarked to his father who was holding a hose.
‘Positive you are always dear
but, like the doctors had explained in the hall,
“If you both hadn’t had too much snot in you both
your son wouldn’t have been born a snot boy at all”!’
Cried Snot Boy Blue’s parents did
for years and years indeed.
‘I’d rather have had a thoroughbred for a son.
At least he’d be of use. Indeed!
What use is a Snot Boy Blue
to the world!’ his father snapped with speed.
‘Don’t worry you two.
Even though I’m terribly blue and blue
I’ll never be the same – 100% human – like you two.
I promise one day I’ll do something you two,
something great to end our blue.’
When he was 22,
over legally a man’s age,
he got a job at Elmwood University
earning a minimum wage.
Was he a cleaner there?
No.
Was he as chef there?
No.
He worked in scientific research
for The Entomology Department there.
At night he stood in the gardens
and insects common and rare,
as they flew through, got stuck on his rubbery snot body that was sort of a snare.
The researchers had no doubt
they’d so many fascinating insects to learn about.
TO BE CONTINUED ... in Part 2
Coaxed to Grow
Oh, how wonderfully innocent
and juvenile, 'twas for me.
You, scooting surreptitiously.
closer and closer to me.
Like a soft, gentle caterpillar,
slithering and smiling,
Making its way home in the
still of the night.
I clutched my lovely, flowered
handkerchief.
Then my gold cross with a
sparkling aqua gem upon it.
Really, wanting to not say, no.
My blue eyed Tommy boy.
In the Elmwood Park Spring we
were about to kiss.
Fireflies came to celebrate this
celebratory bliss.
When we were moving beyond
flirtation.
It was as though heaven were
sending particles of stars,
To bless the softness of this
sacred night.
Of huge elm tress, your strong
arms about me.
Finally, those soft, tender lips.
There in God's silent moonlight,
One of my first teenage kisses, did alight.
10/22/2020
Poem 4
So well loved by their children.
Our life coaches in how to play
this intricate game of life.
Cleverly guiding us on this highway
with directions.
Remember your Dad teaching you
to ride your bike?
A two wheeler gave my heart a strike.
That metallic green Schwinn was
top of the line.
He attached special lights and it's horn,
was one of a kind.
He ran behind me on the street,
Whilst,I with fear, like a drum in my chest,
drove from left to right.
Then stopped in fear, but he bade me to
try again.
I remember well going one half a block.
But something went terribly wrong.
It was garbage day in Elmwood Park, so
empty cans with no lids were waiting for me.
I would have preferred hitting a large tree.
But no!
I ended up with my butt in the bottom of
the can, legs toward the summer sky.
Poetess in a can!!
Dreamy Dad to the rescue came.
I was both embarrassed and ashamed.
He lifted me out, I was stuck!
Worse, urged me to ride yet again?
That's how Dads are, they do not
give up on you!
Though your world has just turned
upside down.
They stand there,entirely resolute.
To encourage, love and coach you,
all life through.
Tribute to my Father, Edward....
Thanks Daddy! Pangie
September 28, 2020
Noon PST
The Woman Who Could Change Colour
Morning, noon, and night
she could change colour though with remorse.
Did that mean she was special or just have really bad luck? Well, the latter of course!
She changed to red,
She changed to orange yuk.
She changed to green, and for a small fee
she mimicked many coloured objects (not a truck) too well
some were left dumbstruck.
But she wished to make an honest living.
Unexpectedly one morning her wish came true
after her changing colour impressed at the Job Fair
a very important employer Mr Blue.
She was honoured and happy to be new
traffic lights outside Elmwood Zoo.
The Wispy Spirit Waited
He was sucked into the nasty Australian air
purifier in the living room of 67 Oak Street, Elmwood. To him, that wasn’t at all fair!
For Halloween night,
he’d planned to haunt the furrowed asleep.
In the filter, with not much sight,
he moaned, ‘I should’ve entered with a creep.
I should've gone through the bathroom window
or maybe through the bedroom window!'
So, he waited and waited
and waited.
He couldn’t move a metre
He couldn’t move a centimetre.
A week later, the owner emptied the filter out the
window, and the spirit went into the
mouth of a man-eater
who was a wife cheater.
On the outskirts of a long-abandoned country town
beyond the crumbling headstones and elmwood trees
is mounted a dark dismal figure of what used to be
a scarecrow whose limbs flail in Autumn's breeze
Hung as if crucified, his death was never mourned
The creature decayed in the midst of a barren field
Fallow lies the ground he once so boldly protected
Nigh on twenty years since wheat crops gave yield
Poor beast, with innards of grayed moss and twigs
Tenebrous, the moldy growth on his stygian face
as fog encroaches to shield me in the shadows of night
He's a monolith of death, staked in this cursed place
Darkness saturates the clouds and shrouds the moon
Comes the North wind, and a caw... caw... cawing sound
A murder of crows take flight over the wretched scene
Where once reigned a Sovreign who was never crowned
A Young Poetess and Her Christmas
A~ Ah, the angelic aromas!
B~ We, thinking of the Babe, born today.
C~ That scent of candlelit, candy canes.
D~ Those dashing, December decorations.
E~ Our first taste of excellent eggnog.
F~ My family and the warm fireplace flickered with joy.
G~Goodwill and glorious gifts.
H~The happiness of this holiday!
I~ Those illuminated icicles on windows dangled.
K~ Being with all my kith and kin.
H~A Happy Holiday to forever recall.
L~ Such love and uproarious laughter!
M~ Yes, mirth and mistletoe!
N~ Songs of Noel and the New Born Son!
O~ EVen the oldest, ogled at our optimism!
P~ Of poinsettia and pine, who can forget?
Q~ Mary,quiet, quinticessental ,queen of this day
R~ Our rejoicing was religious, on that you can bet!
S~ Though the night was silent, the children remained sleepless.
T~ Togetherness and traditions reigned triumphant.
U~ So understanding and upbeat were we!
V~ Thoughts of the Venerable Virgin and her new baby!
W~The wise, wondrous Three Kings with gifts for the King.
X~ In that winter xerophilous climate, where water is rare.
Y~ All our great Yuletide yearnings came true!
Z~ We all were zippy and zesty as can be, and did not want
to turn the lights off, on the magnificent tree.
12-20-2020
~Memoirs of Elmwood Park, IL~
At 6
At 6 I could concentrate on
7 aspects of a
problem at
the same time. Irreversibility was
exceptional (award winning). I could
mentally undo
actions, even undo mentally all
actions of
people, objects alive, and
animals. I’d high telegraphic speech; leaving out
nonessential words was a
cinch. Syntax and vocabulary was
the envy of
the children in
the street, and
of course, the envy of
the children and teachers (parents too) at
Elmwood Primary. High focus span, countless items
remembered. Gender identity strong and
healthy. Gender roles
understood. Skipped over
imitation stage. Master of
observational learning. Poor parallel (side by
side) play. Not much interest in
cooperative play. Non interactive! Preferred to
be around
family.
The Headstone of C.W.
At Halloween dusk, The Headstone cool
dressed in red stems with cool
starlike shoot tips
stole a garbage bag with hips
full of candy left by the pool of chips,
left by a dumpy man with big hips
diagnosed with diabetes
(he never ate enough Wheaties)
She said, ‘He’s such a fool!’
She thought she was doing him a favour.
She hated the word “favour”.
Little did she know...
The candy had tiny hand grenades inside them.
Yeah. One in each of them.
Just before the
Halloween Costume Competition at the
Elmwood Mall,
she ate the entire bag,
and she exploded onto the wall.
A killer cleaner put all her pieces in a bag.